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Cookin’ With Coolio Episode 4: Game Day Turkey
Ingredients:
Whatever Junk Food you got in your Pantry
One 12 lb. Turkey
Diced Garlic
1/4 shot of Tequila
1/4 cup Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup Hickory BBQ Sauce
1/4 Lemon Juice
1/4 Lime Juice
1/8 cup of Soy Sauce
1/4 cup of regular Italian Dressing
A dollop of Honey
1 Teaspoon of Onion Powder
1 Dime-bag of Seasoning Salt
1 Dime-bag of Pepper
Enough Peanut Oil to fill your fryer
One Deep Fryer Instructions:
1. Take all that junk food you got in your house and toss that shit down the drain.
2. In a large cup, pour in 1/4 shot of tequila. This is optional, 'cause some people don't drink alcohol. But Coolio does.
3. Splash in 1/4 cup of lime juice. Shaka!
4. Follow that up with 1/4 cup of lemon juice. Zulu!
5. Now drop in a dollop of honey.
6. Add a full level teaspoon of onion powder.
7. Pour in 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar. You know I like to use this in a variety of ways.
8. Mix in 1/8 cup of soy sauce.
9. Take that regular old Italian Dressing in your fridge, and pour in 1/4 cup.
10. Throw in that Garlic. Everything is better with garlic, baby.
11. Get yourself some of that hickory BBQ sauce and dribble in 1/4 cup.
12. Dump in a dime-bag of seasoning salt, followed by a dime-bag of pepper.
13. Now stir it all up like motherfuckin’ coffee.
THUMB-TARDED WARNING: Do not drink, or you’ll be shitting like a goose.
14. Start injecting your bird. The more injections, the merrier!
15. Take a little garlic and rub it down. Smack it around. Show that bird who's boss.
16. Once your peanut oil is up to temperature, drop that Turkey in there. Drop it like it's hot.
THUMB-TARDED WARNING: Come on, people! Don’t fry in your house! If you knock that shit over, your ass will be looking for a new house.
17. Let your fowl boil in its hot tub for 50-60 minutes.
18. Get yourself a large tray or dish, lay down a bed of leafy lettuce, some yellow bell peppers, and lay your bird out. Make it look pretty. Remember, it’s all about the presentation.
19. Bring yo' ass to the table. It’s time to eat some turkey.