Heroes + Hyphenates (11.14.07 - 2:49 am)

The new Dylan is here. This one hasn't learned to play guitar, harmonica, bust a rhyme, or carry a tune yet. ("I know what you're thinking.") This one just woke us up - screaming his lungs out.....for baby formula. He + his sister Jessie are about 26 days old this morning. It's getting really hard to count that high on no sleep. But Dylan's primal screams made me think of an old Rotten line: "anger is an energy."
 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq7utK6iyV4]
 
Johnny Rotten was the single most influential co-con of the past ten years. At VH1, we coaxed him out of his ramshackle castle to create + host "Rotten TV." Most of my heroes have an innate sense of how to use anger against all things hypocritical. My heroes all tend to be intense hyphenate-aholics. They can wake + bake up a day that includes aspects of most of the following pursuits all at once:
- a new album
- published writings
- a film (on all formats)
- television
- concert or stage performance
- radio

The truly possessed are now waking up to newfound freedoms in NewMediaLand and adding their own, original webworks to the weekly mix of mass communication.

Most of us mortals would consider just one successful hit song or major motion picture to be a happy ending to a lifelong show business dream.

But the stars I've been chasing for years all seem to be able to cook up a near perfect storm with four or five dishes in the oven at the same time.

What have these hyphenate heroes got - dat we ain't got? How much passion + will power does it take to keep pushing pebbles up a mountain? The mountains are often as slippery as slime. Snake oil rolls down from the peak and covers you in stench and goo. But you keep climbing. You're punk in spirit. You're too smart to be stopped by false hearts. This is a sleepless salute to heroes and hyphenates who refuse to stop entertaining n' communicating:
Johnny Rotten
Harry Shearer
Don Was
David Wain
Andy Milonakis
Jimmy Kimmel
Little Steven
Penn Jillette
Adam Carolla
Howard Stern
Shawn Fanning
Bruce Springsteen
U2
George Harrison
Martin Scorsese
David Byrne
Keith Richards
Mick Jagger
Bob Dylan

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A song & a prayer (11.8.07 - 2:42 am)

The twins turn three weeks old today. We rocked them both back to sleep this morning, and thoughts bounced between the joy and honor of caring for these perfect little souls...and the angst of knowing they were born into a world led by a war-hungry demagogue. The Joy Killer. Bush is hellbent on the notion that he can protect us like the father by talking tough. He never got past the anger of 9/11 to enter into any other stages of the grief. "Blow them all to hell" is a reaction that crept into pop culture long ago, but it's the wrong drama to turn into a reality show. "Dead or Alive" was a pathetic joke...and Osama's still laughing. If you've read the news, then you've seen stories unfolding since Abu Ghraib about our government's decision to torture human souls in the name of freedom. Now, the secret ship of state is leaking like a sieve and the waterboarding scandal is front page news. My Damn Channel's Harry Shearer decided to do what any enlightened rebel would do in this situation.......he's singing about it. Imagine what the world would be like if more of our heroes could carry a tune. On day 101 of 'My Damn Channel Invades Earth' - we're releasing Harry Shearer's "Waterboardin', USA" to radio stations and video screens across America. Harry was just nominated for Funniest Web Video in the upcoming TV Guide Online Video Awards vs. Will Ferrell's "The Landlord" and SNL's "Dick in a Box." My Damn Channel also got the nod for Best Comedy Web Site, but we're up against Comedy Central, Funny or Die, and SuperDeluxe. We're gonna BEG for your VOTE just to see if our wizeass little web site can topple the big money favorites. Please help us get up on that TV stage + make some trouble!!!! What would an awards show be without a nod to God. Let's endeth with a morning prayer: Dear God, please bless our new babies and please be good to Harry Shearer for he giveth us The Simpsons, Spinal Tap, Le Show, and weekly new web videos like "Waterboardin', USA." Amen.

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Lost + Found (11.13.07 - 1:35 am)

Every fan of "LOST" gets a look inside its creator's cranium for a single-serving of one of the tastiest essays on the writers' strike. Harry Shearer's "Found Objects" is the latest series joining Silent Debates, Crescent City Stories, and the best biting political pieces on the web - or in sloganland.....period. We're sending an elite mercenary to the beaches of LA to aid Sir Harry's search for more "Found Objects." This covert operative earned high security clearance after surviving a recent hostile takeover at one of our rebel bases in Chicago. There are rumors that Dr. Phil is coming to My Damn Channel.....and there is confirmation that Harry will be creating more SILENT DEBATES on the first 3 Tuesdays in December. Our debates let you decide which candidate has the least to say for our nation and for the world. If you missed the first, historic showdown, we offer Hillary's finest hour. Not one question was ducked, zero flip-flops....the picture of strength and certainty:

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'Dirty Seinfeld' (11.12.07 - 3:47 am)

We should be out on the picket lines handing out Krispy Kremes, but we're at work honoring creative veterans of show business battles by building a new stage for their next works. My Damn Channel is built to last longer than just another sugar rush. After years of leading insurgencies on missions up steep hills in Old Media, U.S.A., we commissioned a new band of sisters and brothers to start a war we knew we could win. There's a strict dress code for management: no suits. We swore a sacred oath to insure total artistic freedom - at all costs - with all treasure split equally with soldiers in the field. 3 simple promises to every new media web warrior on "My Damn Channel": - No "Notes" - No Hidden Costs - 50/50 splits It took about ten minutes to put these war plans on the table and ask David Wain to join this year's army. It took David about ten seconds to say "YES." 'Wainy Days' is our most successful episodic web series. In our first 100 days, David's comedies have been seen one million times and today marks the premiere of Season 2. Old media management can be secretly baffled when they stumble upon a hit. But they quickly race to take credit (and profit) away from every rare smash. Scores of imitators crop up instantly every time there's a hit to try and recapture lightning in a bottle.... and sell it for twice as much. We know why David Wain has hits on "My Damn Channel." We pay him and his production AND we leave him the hell alone. He's a writer, director, producer, actor who's spent enough time on both sides of the camera to know how to conjure up exactly what he wants to present on the screen. I've spent enough time on all sides of the game to know how to support this kind of talent well. 'Wainy Days' works because it's insanely funny. David's series is a cross between 'Dirty Seinfeld' and Woody Allen on acid. Guest stars have included Jonah Hill, Rashida Jones, Michael Ian Black, Zandy Hartig, A.D. Miles, Rob Corddry, Jessica Westfeldt, Elizabeth Banks, Jason Sudeikis, Ken Marino, Thomas Lennon, and Kerry Kenney-Silver. Much respect and thanks to Producer Jon Stern; to my head of production, Paul Gallagher; to all at My Damn Channel; to Zandy + to everyone working on 'Wainy Days;' and especially to you Mr. Wain.....we owe you a whole lotta Krispy Kremes.

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Coming up (11.11.07 - 3:34 am)

Sleepless middle of the night Sunday - loving our new twins. They're 24 days old and helping us find the right rhythms at home. If you've found this blog off the My Damn Channel website, you deserve regular insider updates on what's going on to bring you da videoooos. You deserve even more, because I'd never be able to afford yesterday's first mystical trip to Costco - without you watching My Damn Channel. We now have enough Frosted Flakes to outlast the apocalypse. Maria is going to be posting for two new fulltime jobs this week - based in the new My Damn Channel NY office. Will leak it here first: We need to hire another producer/programmer to help shoot/edit/upload to the site + our syndication sites. The other is Community Director/Camp Counselor/Forum Moderator/VideoFinder- Sharer-Blogger-er to make sure our feet stay planted firmly on the virtual ground. If you know humans who seek some of our Anti-Media heaven, then have them email us at info@MyDamnChannel. Don Was started a chain of emails yesterday marking the first time I decided to break the Ghostbusters' rule and "cross the streams" with our stars. His inspiration revolves around getting our talent lineup to work + play together. We learned that David Wain plays drums. He doesn't know that I'm gonna beg our 'producer' to go double drummers - Grateful Dead style. Our Donfather will produce and play bass when we can all get into the studio. I asked Milonakis to rap the bible. Big Fat Brain plays everything. Andy is also cooking up another evil video idea and he's got already got Don Was + Big Fat agreeing to contrib. Set every alarm clock you have for 7am eastern time Monday morning: WAINY DAYS - SEASON TWO premieres. David Wain is back with more Waininess on My Damn Channel. Wainy Days is our best, original episodic series - arguably better than any network sitcom + definitely shorter - with NO commercial interruptions. Wainy Days is Dirty Seinfeld. In Episode 11, David kicks off Season 2 back on the cliffhanger - with his girlfriend Zandy (Zandy Hartig) - as her pregnancy threatens to thrust our star into adulthood. Last lick: Katie Couric magically appeared on My Damn Channel Friday night? Back to sleep now - it's cold outside.

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Big Fat Brain (11.9.07 - 3 am)

3 words at 3am: BIG FAT BRAIN South Park is Matt & Trey. Our BIG FAT BRAIN is Matt (Bledsoe) & Troy (Hitch). These two lobes will be pissed if I talk about who they are – instead of showing it. Every bit of web design and every ounce of what My Damn Channel is ‘achin’ to be’….is not possible without BIG FAT BRAIN. We stay small. We have very few channels – for key reasons to reveal later…but today marks the launch of something new & something big…& something’s starting to smell in one of the twins’ diapers. Shutting up now.

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Two F Words: (11.7.07 - 4:48 am)

As the sun rises, My Damn Channel celebrates our 100th birth-day. We're still in diapers but not full of shit. We're having too much fun learning how to walk and talk. We moved into a new office in NY this week. We spent the past year ramping up and launching from a tiny, 15-foot space gifted by an angelic co-con named Cathy. Our new place has enough space for the 7 of us ... we've even got our own toilet. In truth, it's pritty pritty cool. My office window stares directly into irony: facing the Viacom skyscraper where I spent over 11 years at MTV + VH1. Our LA team is still bunkering together in close quarters but a latenight television pal is threatening to buy a cool new place near the beach and be our NEW "Landlord." Great phone call from a HipHop icon yesterday looking for his own "My Damn Channel." If this deal closes as fast as it seems to be moving, it'll be because of the first two minutes of that call.....and because of the two F bombs that he dropped. I asked why this man wanted to move to webworld with such a solid track record in music, film, and television. "FREEDOM - Freedom - Freedom - Freedom," was his first response. He'd grown tired of taking too many meetings and said he was always filled with too many good new ideas to wade through months of red tape to get every new project off the ground. Second F Bomb: FAST. He wants to start his own My Damn Channel now. He has a new television deal in the spring and I asked if he wanted to wait to let all the heat hit at once. The response was "let's go NOW." The entire call went just like that. Total agreement - no need to wait. No lengthy lawyers dancing either. It was the same way when we first pitched David Wain. That meeting took ten minutes for David to get to "yes." Don Was happened in seconds. Harry Shearer and I wanted to do this (without realizing it) from the day we met. Kimmel brought Milonakis. This father/son team are brothers in arms and the newest Milonakis music video in our pipeline is going to blow up insane. We launch our newest "My Damn Channel" this Friday. The announcement breaks tomorrow. Bonus F bomb for all the souls on strike this morning: FIGHT.

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