Think about it. Each Halloween we pulverize pumpkins to stick candles in their hollowed-out gores and put them on our front porch so that people know that we're friendly people with candy.
This ritual also marks the beginning of the most gastronomically wonderful time of year.
How so? Let us count the ways:
Pumpkin Bread
Pumpkin Scones
Pumpkin Soup (Trust us. So good.)
Pumpkin Pie
And of course, America's favorite weird obsession:
![](http://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-601AHfxcE5s/Tq6qbQcYTOI/AAAAAAAAAF8/a0VjZRYSaD0/s640/pumpkin-spice-latte-sign-785463.jpg")
The Pumpkin Spice Latte.
We've seen people trample small children to get to this drink. Get it together, people.
If all of these things made you really hungry, but you're still unsure how to get this pumpkin-slaughtering ritual started, here's a little "How-To" from Slacktory:
Happy Halloween!
Posted in
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Vlogging with tags
How To Be A Vlogger,
How To Vlog,
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vlogging,
My First Vlog,
How To Make Your First Vlog,
Daily Grace YouTube,
Daily Grace vlogger,
grace helbig on youtube on 9/9/2011 7:00:00 AM by
Maria
So you want to know how to be a vlogger.
Daily Grace is pretty good at vlogging so you think we might know a thing or two about it, right?
Fine. We're going to tell you all of our secrets. But only one at a time.
Lesson One: Let everyone know this is your very first vlog and you're not sure what to say.
Like so:
As you can see in this
"My First Vlog Supercut" (courtesy our sister blog,
Slacktory), telling everyone it's your first time (what?) will make you seem humble and adorable. No one likes the rookie who hits a grand slam in his first at-bat! Well, everyone
pretends they like him, but inside everyone is actually seething with jealousy. So, self-deprecation is totally the way to go! Also, you now have a built-in excuse for doing a terrible job. Also, I made a baseball analogy! Whoa.
Make sure you come back next Friday for Lesson Two...
Your new favorite blog,
Slacktory, did you the generous favor of
translating Facebook's confusing and cumbersome Terms of Service into "Bro Speak" so that everyone can understand the rules, even if one happens to be wearing a baseball cap askew on one's head.
Here's an excerpt on
Privacy, a subject that seems to get many Facebook users up in arms:
We give lots of fucks about your privacy, so we wrote this. Read it, so
you know what the fuck we’re going to do with the shit you post, so
you’re not all “Facebook, I had no idea!” when your shit is in our press
releases. That way you know the deal when you’re deciding what to post.
Nice work, bro. Now that we're finally able to understand Facebook's Terms of Service, there will be NO CHANCE that we'll ever be upset with them for using in some public and vaguely nefarious manner any of the information or data that we've given them voluntarily! Hooray!
Oh, Slacktory. How did you know that we all feel like cranky old men all the time? Your new meme, "Feels Old Man: The Advice Meme for Young Old People" is the best repurposing of a Clint Eastwood image since this guy's chest tattoo:
(Image via TONY)
Posted in
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Josh Meisel,
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Slacktory with tags
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planking,
Josh Meisel,
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The Slacktory,
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owling on 7/29/2011 11:09:08 AM by Josh Meisel
Now at this point, you may be thinking "WHAT ON EARTH IS CHUTING?!?!" Webster's dictionary defines chuting as "the act of utilizing a chute (as by passing ore down it)." But Webster's dictionary is an idiot.
In the 21st century, chuting, invented by Grace Helbig in a recent Daily Grace, is an alternative to planking (pictured above), which is for babies. Here's two chuters inverted chuting at the American Museum of Natural History.
If you want to see what normal chuting looks like, you could hold your computer upside-down, or keep it rightside-up but look at it while inverted chuting yourself, or build a time machine and travel to 1897 to partake in George M. Stratton's perceptual adaptation experiment, in which participants wore goggles that inverted their vision vertically until their brain eventually inverted the image back to normal, at which point when the subject would remove their googles, their vision would be permanently upside-down.
Or you could check out this photo of a very athletic Darlene Contreras chuting on a soccer ball.
Or Taylor O'Brien 'chuting hoops.
And if you can't get enough of planking variants, check out this brief article from My Damn Chanel Blog Network member The Slacktory.
TGIF, HAGS, and happy 'chutin'!
We're so happy to announce that
The Comic's Comic is the newest part of the My Damn Channel Blog Network!
Editor
Sean L. McCarthy has been working the comedy beat for years, becoming the definitive guide to the best comedy and comedians in the world.
You can read the full press release
here, but you should really just go to
TheComicsComic.com and subscribe and bookmark it and make it your homepage already. Unless your homepage is already
MyDamnChannel.com, in which case... uh... SWEET.
Posted in
Maria,
My Damn Channel,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
Nick Douglas,
Slacktory with tags
Slacktory,
Slacktory.com,
blog network,
Cheezburger,
Awl,
Nick Douglas,
internet culture,
pop culture,
comedy,
planking,
cats on 7/12/2011 3:00:00 AM by
Maria
Today is a new day in the world of My Damn Channel because we officially launch the My Damn Channel Blog Network with
Slacktory (http://slacktory.com).
Slacktory is helmed by one of our favorite internet users,
Nick Douglas, former editor of
Valleywag and
Urlesque, where he helped us navigate the vast internet with humor and wit. We were so impressed by him, naturally we
stalked followed Nick on Twitter and Tumblr and when he mentioned briefly that he was looking for a new challenge, we pounced. Social Media: it works!
(Nick!)
Now Nick and his merry band of writers are all part of the Damn Family. We always wanted more brothers and sisters, but Mom said "over her dead body," so this is, like, the
best kind of compromise. We get some new playmates and Mom's still alive.
Make sure you visit
Slacktory.com daily to find out what shenanigans that crazy internet has gotten itself into this time! Today, we have stories about Jessi Slaughter, a Harry Potter/Book of Mormon parody, a visit to Jack In The Box with Tom Waits and a weekly column from Mark Zuckerberg that Mark Zuckerberg has nothing to do with at all.
But, don't worry! We haven't forgotten our online video roots! Slacktory will curate, remix and mashup videos at
MyDamnChannel.com/Slacktory. Our first Slacktory
video has cats, babies and Hitler explaining "Planking," so, you know, there's something for everyone!
Slacktory is just the beginning. We're coming for you, Internet. Please continue to do ridiculous things so we always have something to talk about.