Meet
"Dicki."
She's fortysomething. She lives at home with her parents. She's "artsy." She likes Double Gulp sodas. She's looking for love.
And she's played by
Mary Lynn Rajskub, whom you might know from
24, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Mr. Show with Bob and David and
The Larry Sanders Show.
But
Dicki is special. You'll get a chance to see HOW special she is this Thursday at
www.MyDamnChannel.com/Dicki.
(L-R: Mitch, Thomas, Jim)
Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:
So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.
+++++++++++++++++++
If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit
JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.
THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.
JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.
MITCH: My depression pills.
Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock
MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.
JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)
THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.
If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?
THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.
MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman
JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite? I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.
How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?
JIM: You get used to it.
THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.
MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.
Describe your dream girl.
MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.
JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.
THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.
What would a fan have to do to date you?
THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.
JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.
MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.
MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.
THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.
How do you deal with all the haters out there?
MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.
THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "
JIM: Uhhhhh wait what?
What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?
JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.
MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.
THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?
How would you describe your style?
THOMAS: Lazy
JIM: Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.
MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.
How do you maintain such a hot body?
THOMAS: Layers and no AC.
MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.
JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen! And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!
Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.
We're premiering a new series tomorrow and this little guy is the star!
We put his picture up on
our Facebook page this morning and as of this writing 29 people have "liked" him and nine different ladies have written some iteration of "AWWWWW. SCHMOOPY. I WANNA HUG HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM GEORGE! HE'S SO CUUUUUUUTE!" in the
comments!
This series is going to go over super-well. We can feel it.
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Horrible People on 7/21/2011 9:18:43 AM by Josh Meisel
The hilarious new National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle, aka NTSF:SD:SUV:: premieres tonight on Adult Swim with the epic first episode, “Mexican Space Shuttle.” So break out the no-doze, because when the clock strikes 12:15 am, NTSF:SD:SVU:: will go from being a fictional television show on the hospital drama spoof Childrens Hospital to real-life police procedural spoof. To put it simply, NTSF:SD:SUV is to CSI what Childrens Hospital is to Grey’s Anatomy.
Like the show it spun off of, NTSF:SD:SUV:: (whose full title looks like it belongs in the now-defunct analogies section of the SATs) is chock full of performers who are no stranger to My Damn Channel. For example, here's NTSF cast member Martin Starr getting all his teeth knocked out by David Wain. Plus, Executive Producer Jonathan Stern is one of the men responsible for both Wainy Days and Horrible People, writing and directing a number of Wainy Days episodes, including this one.
So watch it every Thursday night at 12:15am on Adult Swim!
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Fred Willard on 6/20/2011 11:16:30 AM by Matt Warren
And just like that, season one of Versailles is on the books. Check out the season finale here, and get caught up with the rest of Season One on our Versailles channel. And though the "You're in Sports" stage may be dark, there's still time to enter our Versailles Sweepstakes to try to win a chance to fly to Los Angeles to meet Versailles creator/stars and real-life marrieds Patricia Heaton and David Hunt. Check out the Versailles Facebook page, or peep this blog for details. Thanks for watching!
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Meet A Celebrity on 6/14/2011 9:41:20 AM by Matt Warren
Thanks to the magic of the internet, every episode of the "You're in Sports" gang's regret-and-gin-soaked shenanigoats is available for free and forever on our Versailles channel, thus completely negating the need to fake your own death and move to a new city under an assumed identity. Besides, such a mad plan would be doomed to failure. If there's anything Evelyn Anders & Co. have taught us, it's that escape from one's past is impossible.
But what's NOT impossible is a chance to actually meet Versailles stars Patricia Heaton (Evelyn) & David Hunt (Colin) in Los Angeles.
How? By entering the Versailles Sweepstakes Giveaway on our Facebook page!
Here's the deal: "like" us on Facebook, then enter as many times as you want to increase your chances of winning.
Plus, every time someone else enters the sweepstakes after YOU invite them, you get THREE ADDITIONAL ENTRIES.
And while you're at it, go ahead and "like" our official Versailles Facebook pages for a full FIVE ADDITIONAL ENTRIES. It's almost obscene how many chances we're giving you to win this.
Complete, lawyer-y entry information can be found here. And follow us on Twitter to keep up to date with all the latest sweepstakes info.
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bonus material on 6/9/2011 10:25:44 AM by Matt Warren
Season One of My Damn Channel's hit show Gigi: Almost American may have come to an end, but that doesn't mean everyone's favorite pie-eyed foreigner is MIA. On the contrary, each Wednesday will see the debut of new Gigi-related bonus material. Sort of like a DVD extra, except, you know, on your computer. You can stretch your throat muscles with a little Gigi theme song karaoke, or bop along to Episode 2's bouncy, '80's-inspired "Squirt Gun" (free download included!). There are also outtakes, promos, and interviews galore—everything you need for your Elks Club's next Gigi: Almost American theme party. And look out for more in the weeks to come.
And since we're talking about Gigi, we'd like to take this opportunity to wish our pal Josh Gad good luck this Sunday at the Tony Awards. The Gigi creator/star is up for Best Lead Actor in a Musical for his awesome work in Trey Parker & Matt Stone's The Book of Mormon. BOM is also up for Best Musical, Best Original Score, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Direction, Choreography, Orchestration, Scenic Design, Costume, Lighting, and Sound. I mean holy shit, right? That's a lot of nominations. Break a leg, Elders!
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MattheW on 6/3/2011 5:30:00 AM by Matt Warren
Never let it be said that the Night Feed doesn't contain multitudes. Sure, yesterday we told you about Mark Malkoff's quest to turn his doughy flagon of untoned flab into a rockin' six pack, but today we're taking a sharp left turn away from the world of health and fitness to indulge in another one of our not-so-secret passions: donuts!
Chocolate, sprinkles, glazed, old-fashioned... we're not picky; we like them ALL. And today is National Donut Day -- an actual holiday created by the Salvation Army to honor the battlefield nurses of World War I who coaxed injured soldiers back to health via the medium fried dough food (thanks, Wikipedia!).
And you don't need to be a mustachioed beat cop or having a support group meeting in a church basement to eat donuts anymore. Everyone's doing it, including minor local television celebrities like Colin Tickler (David Hunt), son of legendary B-movie actress Evelyn Anders (Patricia Heaton). Here's Colin extracting some donut innards from Episode 3 of the new My Damn Channel series Versailles...
Sexy, right?! We bet introverted "You're In Sports" intern Sara Wolper (Martha MacIsaac) would agree. So throw away your fertility talismans and Axe Body Spray. Show some holiday spirit by rubbing a glazed donut across your bare chest and smearing your face with custard. The Salvation Army demands it.
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Twitter on 5/13/2011 10:02:33 AM by Matt Warren
Hey look, people are saying nice things about our new series Versailles! In 140 characters or less! People like Fred Willard, Gayle King, Oscar Blandi, and Chris Kattan!
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mother on 5/5/2011 4:29:03 PM by Matt Warren
You know that stern, older woman who lived in your house when you were growing up? The one who cooked all your meals, did your laundry, and threw away all the porno she found under your bed while vacuuming? The woman who always got into lengthy shouting matches with your father over finances, and who spent long afternoon after long afternoon quietly sitting on the couch, surrounded by the chaos of her household, drinking zinfandel and staring off into the middle distance? Remember her?
That was Ms. Ana, your nanny.
The woman who paid Ms. Ana to do all those things was your
mother. And guess what Sunday is? That’s right: Mother’s Day.
What’s that? You demand My Damn Channel videos with an extremely tenuous link to a Mothers’ Day theme? Well don’t worry, YOU WILL NOT BE DENIED.
Everyone’s favorite newly-minted American,
Gigi, falls for a very pretty, very pregnant library patron, played by Gigi star Josh Gad’s real-life wife, Ida Darvish.
Two grown children of an eccentric, mostly awful dead actress try to figure out what made their mom tick in the
new series Versailles, premiering Monday!
And last but not least,
David Wain shoves a new mother to the ground and tries to drown her baby. Spoilers.
So show a little respect, you little shit, and send the old crone a card. Who knows? Maybe she’ll write you back into the will after all.