Posted in
Coolio,
Maria with tags
Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off,
Coolio,
Coolio cooking show,
coolio recipes,
coolio soul rolls,
The Food Network,
Coolio Food Network,
Rachael Ray,
Guy Fieri,
Cook-off,
Music Saves Lives,
Lou Diamond Phillips,
Lou Diamond Phillips Coolio,
Chez Cooly's on 2/7/2012 8:00:00 AM by Maria
Did you watch Coolio on The Food Network's
Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off? You wouldn't be alone. The Food Network posted
the highest ratings in its history last month.
We'd like to think that The Food Network's dramatic increase in viewership is directly related to the Ghetto Gourmet. After, all, who can resist
chicken so good it falls off the bone or a
caprese salad so tasty it makes your drawers drop?
Coolio came in second to Lou Diamond Phillips despite breaking out the big guns like
Soul Rolls and a newer, Guy Fieri-approved version of his
Cool-A-Cado, winning a more-than-respectable $10,000 for
Music Saves Lives. To which we say,
Shaka, Coolio.
Shaka forever.
Seriously.
She could be on one of Grace's cooking segments, don't you think?
Did you survive the great YouTube inbox subscription notification blackout of 2011? We saw so many of you running through the streets wailing, ripping your clothes off and screaming, "Is there a new Daily Grace episode or isn't there?! WE DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOW!"
So, yeah, it was pretty terrible. Here is what you should have done:
1. Check our
Facebook Page. We told you about the new Grace video AND we referenced a Celine Dion song! Does it get better than that?
2. Check our
Twitter feed. We told you TWICE yesterday that there was a new Daily Grace video AND we figured out a way to relate
International Talk Like a Pirate Day to Buffy! Does it get better than that?
3. Check our
Tumblr. We let you know there was a new Daily Grace episode AND we reblogged
this guy's epic Grace gifs. Does it get any better than that?
So the next time you need some subscription notification verification,
just ask us. But nicely. Please. You guys freak us out sometime when you yell.
Oh, right... or you can just go
here...
Posted in
Daily Grace,
Maria with tags
Daily Grace,
Daily Grace How-To,
Back To School,
How To Be Popular,
5 Ways To Be More Popular,
How To Be Popular In College,
daily grace hazed,
gracehelbig,
grace helbig,
You've Been Hazed on 9/6/2011 9:45:10 AM by
Maria
WAKE UP and be more popular! Don't be like James Franco.
So you're back in school and you're bored already? Here are
5 Ways To Make Yourself More Popular.
1.
Find someone to haze. It's still early in the school year, right? Your professor is probably still learning names. If you're in a class where your instructor calls attendance, just start hazing people. "Steve Guttenberg?" "More like, Steve Not-So-Gutten-To-Be-Back-In-School! YOU'VE BEEN HAZED."
2.
Talk about how much you love Justin Bieber. His voice still hasn't broken so girls still see him as an asexual non-threatening type of fantasy crush, right? Also he's just, like, sooooooo CUUUUUUUTE.
3.
Tell them how much you love animals. Cats, especially. Who doesn't love a pussy...CAT. Pussycat. Jeez.
4.
Show your new roomies that you know how to cook. You should probably start with the
Faghetti'wich: fries and spaghetti on a sandwich...so, you know, all your basic college food groups. Later, when the local sandwich shop starts selling it you can get them to name it after you.
5.
Make a video for your new classmates telling them how much you love them. And how pretty you think they all are. And how you would totally have babies with them if they would let you. Because that's not creepy at all.
Good luck! Let us know if any of these things actually work to increase your popularity because then we will need to transfer to your school immediately.
(Intern Josh, wondering forlornly how he ended up here)
EDITOR'S NOTE: It's Josh's last day as an intern for My Damn Channel! I asked him to write up a post telling you what it was like for him this summer!
Coming into My Damn Channel as an intern I thought all I was gonna learn was how to file papers and fill out reports. Boy was I wrong! Friday will be my last day and I still haven't correctly filled out a single report. My boss is always saying that it drives him crazy how long it's taking me to get the hang of the office duties, but I can tell he's just joking. How I treasure that agonized look he gets trying so hard to hold back laughter.
What I learned though was way more valuable than any college education. I would say it was worth about $230,000, a couple hundred more than four years' tuition at Wesleyan. What I learned was the value of making the effort to gain the respect of your peers.
Before I ever set foot into that office, I had my work cut out for me. My future co-workers had already started gossiping that I only got the internship because of my family connections. After failing for three years to strike any gold, my great-great-grandfather started My Damn Channel during the California Gold Rush as a burlesque show designed to entertain entrepreneurs who had given up on trying to find gold and started companies catered to the needs of the gold miners. Grandpa Schmulie Meisel. I can't believe that was such a popular name back then — Grandpa.
My first day at work the guy sharing my cubicle got mad at me for unplugging his computer. "What do you need a blender for?!" he irrationally snarled. "How else are you gonna make computer smoothies silly? By hand?!" I chucked his computer into my oversized blender. He must've thought I was awfully spoiled, not making my computer smoothies by hand. I really had an uphill battle ahead of me if I wanted to gain anyone's respect.
A couple of days in I got the courage to pitch a show idea to the head of development. It was a parody of "Friends" called "Friends." He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You just handed me a bunch of "Friends" scripts. I think I know now why the printer's out of ink. Look, why don't you hold off for a bit before you make any more pitches." Apparently my scripts had gone right over his head. And "Friends" was a pretty accessible show. The guy I shared my cubicle was a rube, our head of development was dense as a neutron star, and my boss was an incorrigible prankster. My situation was less than ideal to say the least.
Halfway through the summer things had only gotten worse. I was miserable. My only friend was the janitor, and he was a Roomba! I'd cry myself to sleep every night, and when I wasn't feeling that sad I would get my butler to cry me to sleep. My job was a major disappointment. It wasn't at all like that show "The Office." We had TWO guys named Dwight, and the prettiest girl wasn't dating the most handsome guy (me), but instead this guy Jim who's so inexperienced with women that when I asked him to share some girlie stories he just laughed.
All I could do was trudge along until my five weeks were up, filing away papers wherever I could cram them (I may not get the job done pretty, but I'm damn fast). And just when I had given up on ever gaining a single ounce of respect from any My Damn Channel employee, a stroke of luck bolted me right in the face.
I'll always remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was only yesterday today. Jim's girlfriend (I think her name was Xamela) told him he needed to go somewhere to sign some forms. She couldn't give him a ride because she was busy. He asked if anyone else could take him, and I shot out of my chair like I was sitting on a lit match (which for the one of the first times I wasn't). Jim didn't see me at first; his eyes scanned the room for someone to drive him but everyone pretended to be hard at work because they were too lazy to take him. Finally he saw me and said "Fine let's go Josh." And fine it was. Everyone looked up at Jim and smiled at him. Their smiles seemed to say, "I'm really happy for you that you get to go on a fun/crazy/cool ride with Josh." But the smiles had a little menace behind them that signified jealousy.
When I got back my boss laughed with mirth, patted me on the back, and said, "Good job sonny." All I ever wanted was for my boss to think of me as a son, but life isn't easy. I had to put in my time to get what I wanted — let's just say I don't think I could've earned the luxury of being treated by my boss like his own flesh and blood if I hadn't given Jim that ride. And now, in these last couple of months before my summer ends and I have to go back to hitting the books trying to eventually earn my GED, I can look back at my time at My Damn Channel atop my pool float, computer smoothie in hand, and know that that one lesson I learned was well worth all my trifles. Plus it helped that I was making more than the rest of the office combined.
Thanks, Josh, er, Sonny! We will miss you! We know it will be tough going back to Stanford to get a world-class education, but it's better you than us!
We fully intend to continue stalking following you and your writing as @artsypriest and as a writer for The Stanford Chaparral.
PS: If any of you, dear readers, for some strange, maddening reason, would like to be an intern for My Damn Channel, please send an email to info@MyDamnChannel.com, and be sure to include links to your blog, Twitter and Tumblr accounts, or any other writing samples you might have! In the immortal words of the Jersey Shore kids in Italy, "Arrivederci, summer!"
(L-R: Mitch, Thomas, Jim)
Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:
So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.
+++++++++++++++++++
If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit
JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.
THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.
JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.
MITCH: My depression pills.
Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock
MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.
JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)
THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.
If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?
THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.
MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman
JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite? I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.
How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?
JIM: You get used to it.
THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.
MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.
Describe your dream girl.
MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.
JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.
THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.
What would a fan have to do to date you?
THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.
JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.
MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.
MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.
THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.
How do you deal with all the haters out there?
MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.
THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "
JIM: Uhhhhh wait what?
What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?
JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.
MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.
THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?
How would you describe your style?
THOMAS: Lazy
JIM: Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.
MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.
How do you maintain such a hot body?
THOMAS: Layers and no AC.
MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.
JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen! And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!
Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.
Posted in
Coolio,
David Wain,
Maria with tags
David Wain,
Coolio,
Wainy Days,
Cookin' With Coolio,
Cooking With Coolio,
Coolio Cooking Show,
The State,
Stella,
Role Models on 8/1/2011 10:43:37 AM by
Maria
Yesterday was OUR birthday, today is the birthday of two My Damn Channel stars: David Wain and Coolio!
Did we know this when we started working with them? No!
Does this mean anything to anyone but us? No!
Are we glad that these things all seem relevant enough to put into a single blog post? Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
In honor of the anniversaries of their birth, here are our (my) favorite Wainy Days and Cookin' With Coolio episodes:
"Donna"
and "Caprese Salad"
Happy Birthday to everyone who has a birthday to today-- even if you aren't a successful comedian/writer/director/cult-comedy icon or a rapper/actor/chef/juggalo!
Posted in
David Wain,
Filmmakers,
Hollywood,
Horrible People,
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
New Series,
NTSF,
Wainy Days with tags
NTSF:SD:SUV::,
NTSF,
Paul Scheer,
Jonathan Stern,
David Wain,
Wainy Days,
Adult Swim,
New Series,
Josh Meisel,
celebrities,
Martin Starr,
Children's Hospital,
Horrible People on 7/21/2011 9:18:43 AM by Josh Meisel
The hilarious new National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle, aka NTSF:SD:SUV:: premieres tonight on Adult Swim with the epic first episode, “Mexican Space Shuttle.” So break out the no-doze, because when the clock strikes 12:15 am, NTSF:SD:SVU:: will go from being a fictional television show on the hospital drama spoof Childrens Hospital to real-life police procedural spoof. To put it simply, NTSF:SD:SUV is to CSI what Childrens Hospital is to Grey’s Anatomy.
Like the show it spun off of, NTSF:SD:SUV:: (whose full title looks like it belongs in the now-defunct analogies section of the SATs) is chock full of performers who are no stranger to My Damn Channel. For example, here's NTSF cast member Martin Starr getting all his teeth knocked out by David Wain. Plus, Executive Producer Jonathan Stern is one of the men responsible for both Wainy Days and Horrible People, writing and directing a number of Wainy Days episodes, including this one.
So watch it every Thursday night at 12:15am on Adult Swim!
(*Actual product will most likely look nothing like this. Also, wings not included.)
Lately, My Damn Channel swag has been flying off the shelves and onto people's bodies at an alarming rate. It seems like everyone wants a new T-shirt in their hands (or on their torso, at least.) After all, who wouldn't want a slice of pie from the larger bakery that is the world of My Damn Channel paraphernalia?
Take My Damn Channel viewser JustNeph... please! When we asked folks to tweet at us with the phrase "I want #MyDamnPen!" Neph responded. And we didn't let his plea fall on deaf ears, hooking him up with not one but TWO My Damn Channel pens, and a MY DAMN CHANNEL STICKER.
And here's our pal Dom Galati donning a sharp new My Damn Channel tee...
And if you want your very own My Damn Channel shirt, you can follow Rocky Rector's example and be the one this week to get the most friends to sign up for our ongoing Versailles sweepstakes. Additional info is here.
Go ahead and sign yourself up, while you're at it. Winner gets a free trip for two to L.A. to meet Versailles (watch it!) co-stars and creators Patricia Heaton and David Hunt. There's only one week left to enter, so if you need to, now would be a good time to buy a working mouse.
Posted in
Back on Topps,
David Wain,
Hollywood,
Matt Warren,
My Damn Channel,
Pilot Season,
Sklar Brothers,
Wainy Days with tags
My Damn Channel,
Wainy Day,
Back on Topps,
Pilot Season,
David Wain,
Sam Seder,
Sklar Bros.,
Series,
Summer,
Heatwave on 7/7/2011 11:22:51 AM by Matt Warren
As we inch into mid-July and the gunpowder from Independence Day fireworks finally dissipates and settles on the ground like an ashy, foul-smelling snow, it comes time once again to face the fact that, like it or not, it's Summer. For some, summer means long, lazy days spent at the beach or in the park, full of barbeques, bikinis, and melty ice cream cones. These people are are insane madmen who are not to be trusted. For the rest of us, summer is a time to stay indoors and near the air conditioning, cowering away from the sun like it was some kind of vengeful God.
Point is, it's hot out there. Why not stay indoors and expand the depth and breadth of your pop culture acumen by doing a few complete-series re-watches of your favorite shows? And sure, you could plow through your box set of 'The Sopranos' or 'The Wire' for the umpteenth time, but given the brain-boiling heat outside, wouldn't you prefer something a little more... digestible? Might we suggest starting with Season One, Episode One of Wainy Days and working your way through the entire series? Or Pilot Season? Or Back on Topps?
It's easy, just pour yourself a nice cool glass of Four Loko, aim that oscillating fan at your genitals, click play, and check another one of your life's goals off the list.