Mark Malkoff Will Spend Five Days in the Bathroom

Mark Malkoff is worn out.

Mark texts. Mark tweets. Mark emails and Facebooks and YouTubes and iPhones and does a million other brand-name things that popular culture has turned into verbs. It is a lot of work to stay connected to everyone all over the world wide web at one time, and Mark is starting to find it all a little taxing.

So he's going to check out for five days in a place where no distractions will get to him: his bathroom.

Sounds like a good idea, right?

Mark's even gong to try to be productive during his Week With No Internet. He's going to try and finish that book he's been meaning to read. He's going to learn that song he's been meaning to play. He's going to write that poem for his wife he's been meaning to write. Aw. That's sweet. And all the while, he's going to shoot footage and put it all into one awesome video, which we can all watch on his channel at MyDamnChannel.com/MarkMalkoff on September 8th.

We're pretty excited to have Mark Malkoff on our team. After all, anyone who can visit every single Starbucks in Manhattan in a single day is a friend of ours. And since he lived in a New Jersey IKEA for a week, he'd probably know better than anyone how to wield a an allen wrench. And, he knows Lisa Loeb, so, you know, bonus points:



To be honest, we're jealous. We wish that we could check out for five days. We wouldn't talk to ANYONE. Except we wouldn't do it in our bathroom. We'd do it on an island somewhere, and, okay, so MAYBE we'd talk to someone... but it would be because he was the bartender and we had to tell him what kind of wonderfully fruity drink to bring us. But other than him, no one.

Good luck, with this one, Mark.  We think you're gonna need it.

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8.9.10 - New York Times, Page One Business Story

My Damn Channel is featured in a page one story in the Business section of The New York Times by Brian Stelter.

The full press release details breaking news about our business here.

8.9.10 is a good day.

We simply, briefly want to THANK YOU for supporting our team and our artists and business partners building a new way to deliver original entertainment. We're humbled and on fire with new energy. THANKS! 

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My Damn Channel: Our 3rd Birthday

My Damn Channel is 3 years old today.

Punk was still a baby when this photo was taken. Nixon is looming in the background. He's pointing the finger!

The pic is taken during a time called "college radio" before consultants sucked freedom out of the souls of rock radio madmen and mystical women who turned us onto music completely capable of changing and defining our lives.

I first met Harry Shearer that year. I chased rock dreams through radio, television and film - and called Harry in late 2006, with the idea to start a then-unnamed business which became My Damn Channel. I called Don Was. I called David Wain.

We launched My Damn Channel exactly 3 years ago, on July 31, 2007.



We give artists we love, trust and respect all the tools they need to skip over stone walls of multi-national media empires and create video delivered directly to you.

We've never been stupid enough to think www.MyDamnChannel.com would be the most visited online destination in the world. But we built a home base big and bad enough for every creator to have their own channel and we built a massive distribution network to move video onto every digital platform where we can make a solid business deal to support the work. The good shit ain't free.

We built a business driven by advertising, licensing and the certainty that we can bring you talent and content in special events later this year - worthy of a buck or two from you to support the art. Crazy, right?

Artists like Illeana Douglas prove that companies like IKEA can connect in a whole new way with millions of people watching millions of videos every hour. Illeana birthed a baby called "Easy to Assemble," which Ad Age dubbed "the most-watched sponsored web show."



We survived the world's worst economy and found our way to success because YOU watch and share our videos. THANK YOU.

We have artists that trust us to respect their art. THANK YOU.

We have sponsors and business partners who believe that we can deliver the good shit and guarantee millions of eyes on it all. THANK YOU.

We have backers who put their faith and coin into a vision for a new show business as powerful today as television was in the 50's. YOU GET IT! THANK YOU!

We have a man named Warren Chao, our Co-Founder and Chief Operating Officer, who knew how to stop us from avoiding most of the mistakes baby companies make to screw it all up. Warren: I've never known a single human being as smart, dedicated and effective inside a company as you. THANK YOU.

Biggest thanks to our families for not killing us when the hill seemed to high to climb! 

RESPECT and THANKS to every one of you who have spent a day inside our small, evolving staff of rebels and business partners.
(Keep an eye out for your party invite!)



We start year four today. Documented in "the world's longest press release" here - with all our new channels for your immediate inspection.

One more major announcement is coming out in days to prove that you'll still have My Damn Channel to kick around for years to come. 
F Nixon.

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Webby Awards 2010

My Damn Channel was born 7/31/07. We were still in diapers when the Webby Awards first starting loving our artists with 7 nods in 2008.

They honored our family 5 more times in 2009. And this year, 8 new acts of love. We suck at math, but that's a lotta Webby lovin'.

The Webby Awards were just announced today.

THANKS to every human who voted - the judges, the fans...and congrats to every creator in webland for the recognition for your work n' fun that goes into forging the new world.

BIG love and respect to all in our family. Here are links to the My Damn Channel honored class of 2010:




Extra special love to Illeana Douglas and the "Easy To Assemble" team for her nomination for Best Individual Performance...and to David Wain and Amanda Peet and the whole Wainy Days fam for their nomination for Best Individual Episode for "Jill."

New "Wainy Days" and New "Easy To Assemble" episodes are in the works now.

 

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2010 Streamy Awards Experienced

Rob Barnett (My Damn Channel Founder/CEO); Illeana Douglas

The My Damn Channel family of artists took home 4 Streamy Awards Sunday night:

- Illeana Douglas won 2 Streamy Awards for EASY TO ASSEMBLE. Best Ensemble Cast and Best Product Integration for IKEA.

- Jason and Randy Sklar won a Streamy Award for Best Branded Entertainment Web Series for BACK ON TOPPS sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods.

- David Wain won a Streamy Award for Best Writing for a Comedy Web Series for WAINY DAYS.

HUGE THANKS to every artist, active fan, and advertiser for saying YES to "the good shit."

Here's the new news:
 
A 3rd Season of IKEA's EASY TO ASSEMBLE will debut this year on My Damn Channel. Illeana and IKEA will deliver the details in the coming days. This is a tremendous sign of support for everyone who co-creates Branded Entertainment.

David Wain told Grace on the red carpet that more WAINY DAYS is on its way to My Damn Channel. Cameras will roll on episode 32 next weekend!

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Going LIVE from LA

Tonight's the night web television's best are honored by the Streamy Awards.

We hit the red carpet with all the web couture we got.

Grace Helbig, Michelle Vargas, and Virginia Reiff bring you My Damn Channel coverage on our home page and our new www.MyDamnChannel.tumblr.com.

And My Damn Channel goes LIVE for the first time ever. The ceremony starts at 5:30p PST. 

Look for David Wain, Illeana Douglas, Jason Sklar, Randy Sklar, Sparhusen, Todd Spahr, Rob Mailhouse, Justine Bateman, Douglas NINJA Sarine, and all our fellow nominees and nerds.

My Damn Channel BIG announcements coming from here at the Streamys too on what's new.

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SATAN CLAUS IS COMING TO MY DAMN CHANNEL!

Inbox Violation #32 Monday, December 21, 2009 SATAN CLAUS IS COMING TO MY DAMN CHANNEL MERRY GRACEMAS, Y'ALL!  Whaaat??  You thought we weren't going to get you anything?!   Get ready for a Loving & Emotional HOLIDAY MESSAGE to YOU from the host of My Damn Channel herself!  HELL'S HOLIDAY JAZZ LOUNGE  Spinal Tap's famous holiday song, CHRISTMAS WITH THE DEVIL, is re-lived by JUDITH OWEN & HARRY SHEARER, in a smooth, jazzy video performance that will HEAT UP your Holiday Spirit! Also available for purchase on Judith's CHRISTMAS IN JULY album. What a neat gift idea! WHAT MAKES A HAPPY CO-WORKER? ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES: "Manager Erik" stops by My Damn Channel to give his priceless words of advice on what it takes to be a HAPPY CO-WORKER. Please forward to all co-workers, there will be a test! Please forward to all co-workers All new episodes of EASY TO ASSEMBLE from Illeana Douglas & IKEA premiere JAN 20!   IN CASE YOU MISSED IT... Dane.. I mean.. Donnie takes us on a journey through PHOTOSHOP LESSONS of the past & present... Send in your works of art & love to: info@mydamnchannel.com   Thanks for every second of watching, commenting, n’ sharing in ’09. We promise to suck even less in ’10.   See ya next year! My Damn Channel - PHONE: 866.424.8864 - EMAIL: info@MyDamnChannel.com   This email was sent to fishstandsup@gmail.com. To ensure that you continue receiving our emails, please add us to your address book or safe list. manage your preferences | opt out using TrueRemove® Got this as a forward? Sign up to receive our future emails. 202 W. 40th St. 16th floor | New York, NY 10018

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HAPPY DAMN HOLIDAYS!

Merry Gracemas, y'all!

Get ready for a Loving & Emotional Holiday Message from the host of My Damn Channel herself!

I tell ya, if she had any more Holiday Cheer, we'd bring Santa back from the dead!!  Uh.. Wait...

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DAMN, NEWS (letter)

Inbox Violation #31 Thursday, November 25, 2009 NO LAME TURKEY JOKES HARRY the HOPEMONGER   “Glimmers of Hope” is the latest song from Harry Shearer’s new, all-digital album Greed and Fear. The video features Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner’s My Damn Channel debut. Hope peaks through the over 10% unemployment rate.   ILLEANA DOUGLAS  x  2   Illeana makes her big move to win IKEA’s Co-Worker of the Year. Will Spärhusen reunite?  "Easy To Assemble” premieres another new episode on Thanksgiving. DON WAS PRESENTS   The 2009 Detroit All Star Revue from the annual “Concert of Colors” in the motor city. Don’s hometown heroes perform some of the greatest songs in Rock & Roll. Here’s Sir Mack Rice – the man who wrote “Respect Yourself” for the Staple Singers & “Mustang Sally” for Wilson Pickett.   OFFICE PARTY PENETRATION Grace & Dave display party crashing prowess with a new holiday episode.   Happy Thanksgiving - NO JOKE! THANKS for watching & sharing our videos!! Follow the Rules. Drink Responsibly. My Damn Channel - PHONE: 866.424.8864 - EMAIL: info@MyDamnChannel.com   This email was sent to fishstandsup@gmail.com. To ensure that you continue receiving our emails, please add us to your address book or safe list. manage your preferences | opt out using TrueRemove® Got this as a forward? Sign up to receive our future emails. 202 W. 40th St. 16th floor | New York, NY 10018

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A SWEDISH LESSON

     

With the big premieres of Spärhusen and Easy to Assemble season 2 quickly approaching, we started thinking about the lovely nation of Sweden and all the wonderful things it has brought us.  We're assuming you guys may not know everything (or maybe anything) about the country squished somewhere between Finland and Norway.  So, here are a few educational facts about this Scandinavian gem!

--Sweden is called "The land of the midnight sun" or "The land of the Vikings".  We’re thinking is should be called "The Land of Apples and Fish" or "The Land of Ikea"…but that’s just us.

--The Swedish alphabet has 3 more letters than the English alphabet; they are å, ä and ö.  We're wondering how this changes the ABC song...

--One of Sweden’s most famous exports is the family friendly Volvo driven by soccer moms all over America.  The soccer-mom in Sweden is known as the  latte-mama. This is due to the Swedes’ obsession with coffee as they consistently rank in the top 5 for countries with the highest coffee consumption per year.  A coffee break is known as a “fika”.  “Fika” can be used as either a verb or a noun (i.e. “let's have a fika” or “shall we fika?”).     This is similar to the English word “dance” or “shit” (i.e. “this is shit” or “I need to shit”).

--Legendary actresses Greta Garbo and Ingrid Bergman are both from The Land of Apples and Fish! Actor Gunnar Björnstrand, also hails from Sweden (not really sure who he is but he’s got an awesome name so therefore we included him).

--In the 1970’s, the Swedish band ABBA gained worldwide popularity.  According to the always truthful and trustworthy Wikipedia.com, “Sweden is the third largest music exporter in the world, with over 800 million dollars in 2007 revenue, surpassed only by the US and the UK”.  Obviously, with the highly anticipated release of Spärhusen’s “The Best of Sparhusen” these numbers are likely to increase.

--Finally, in Sweden dates are written Date/Month/Year unlike in America where we insist on being different from the rest of the world and writing    Month/Date/Year.  Therefore to avoid any confusion Spärhusen and Easy to Assemble Season 2 will be debuting on My Damn Channel on 8/10/2009 for the Swedes and 10/8/2009 for the Americans.

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