Such a tease, Mark Malkoff. We hope whatever happened with the goat is legal in places other than Florida.
Posted in
Maria,
My Damn Channel,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
Nick Douglas,
Slacktory with tags
Slacktory,
Slacktory.com,
blog network,
Cheezburger,
Awl,
Nick Douglas,
internet culture,
pop culture,
comedy,
planking,
cats on 7/12/2011 3:00:00 AM by
Maria
Today is a new day in the world of My Damn Channel because we officially launch the My Damn Channel Blog Network with
Slacktory (http://slacktory.com).
Slacktory is helmed by one of our favorite internet users,
Nick Douglas, former editor of
Valleywag and
Urlesque, where he helped us navigate the vast internet with humor and wit. We were so impressed by him, naturally we
stalked followed Nick on Twitter and Tumblr and when he mentioned briefly that he was looking for a new challenge, we pounced. Social Media: it works!
(Nick!)
Now Nick and his merry band of writers are all part of the Damn Family. We always wanted more brothers and sisters, but Mom said "over her dead body," so this is, like, the
best kind of compromise. We get some new playmates and Mom's still alive.
Make sure you visit
Slacktory.com daily to find out what shenanigans that crazy internet has gotten itself into this time! Today, we have stories about Jessi Slaughter, a Harry Potter/Book of Mormon parody, a visit to Jack In The Box with Tom Waits and a weekly column from Mark Zuckerberg that Mark Zuckerberg has nothing to do with at all.
But, don't worry! We haven't forgotten our online video roots! Slacktory will curate, remix and mashup videos at
MyDamnChannel.com/Slacktory. Our first Slacktory
video has cats, babies and Hitler explaining "Planking," so, you know, there's something for everyone!
Slacktory is just the beginning. We're coming for you, Internet. Please continue to do ridiculous things so we always have something to talk about.
Posted in
Fred Willard,
Hollywood,
Matt Warren,
My Damn Channel,
New Series,
Patricia Heaton,
Versailles with tags
My Damn Channel,
Versailles,
Patricia Heaton,
Fred Willard,
David Hunt,
MattheW on 6/3/2011 5:30:00 AM by Matt Warren
Never let it be said that the Night Feed doesn't contain multitudes. Sure, yesterday we told you about Mark Malkoff's quest to turn his doughy flagon of untoned flab into a rockin' six pack, but today we're taking a sharp left turn away from the world of health and fitness to indulge in another one of our not-so-secret passions: donuts!
Chocolate, sprinkles, glazed, old-fashioned... we're not picky; we like them ALL. And today is National Donut Day -- an actual holiday created by the Salvation Army to honor the battlefield nurses of World War I who coaxed injured soldiers back to health via the medium fried dough food (thanks, Wikipedia!).
And you don't need to be a mustachioed beat cop or having a support group meeting in a church basement to eat donuts anymore. Everyone's doing it, including minor local television celebrities like Colin Tickler (David Hunt), son of legendary B-movie actress Evelyn Anders (Patricia Heaton). Here's Colin extracting some donut innards from Episode 3 of the new My Damn Channel series Versailles...
Sexy, right?! We bet introverted "You're In Sports" intern Sara Wolper (Martha MacIsaac) would agree. So throw away your fertility talismans and Axe Body Spray. Show some holiday spirit by rubbing a glazed donut across your bare chest and smearing your face with custard. The Salvation Army demands it.
Do you dream of the perfect body? Do you lay in bed surrounded by the detritus of your junk food addiction, fantasizing about peeling off your too-tight, slightly wet T-shirt to reveal a glistening, tanned torso sculpted to Wahlbergian perfection? Do you pine for abs so flawless that the Situation himself would throw himself under the nearest party bus at the mere sight of them? The answer, of course, is yes. We all do. And we all want it to happen RIGHT NOW.
But is it really possible to go from abpocalypse to abparadise in a mere thirty days? Well, My Damn Channel's resident sociologist/trickster god Mark Malkoff has done EXACTLY THAT, going from flab to fab in record time in this two-part video experiment.
The secret to his success? Diet, excercise, and enough hard boiled eggs to shame even Cool Hand Luke. So let Mark school you in the art of getting stupid cut and watch. Nutritionists say that clicking "play" just once can burn up to 1,200 calories.*
*(estimated)
Posted with tags
Mark Malkoff,
My Damn Channel,
internet,
twitter,
facebook,
bathroom on 3/10/2011 11:47:57 AM by DannyMoney
Like most people, I take some things for granted. Freedom? Never really think about it. Sliced bread? Sandwiches come and go with nary a thought to this marvel of our times. The yo-yo? Ditto.
But there's one thing I don't take for granted: Mark Malkoff. The dude's a zany stunt machine. Time after time he does something unique and wonderful, like locking himself in his bathroom without technology for five days.
So while I may take some things for granted, such as the air in my lungs, this is not the case with Mark Malkoff. Go revisit some of his work, and get ready for a new Malkoff video coming to My Damn Channel on March 16th. Excited? You bet I am!
The nominees for the 83rd Academy Awards were announced this morning by Mo'Nique and The President of the Academy! both looking good reading from a monitor.
The nominees are all fine -
you can read the full list here - but I think the real story of the day is that a couple of weeks ago I predicted the 10 Best Picture nominees:
BOOM! Nailed it! 10 for 10, baby! Just call me Oscardamus! That's my writing, scribbled two weeks ago, with doodles. I am clearly the Christian Bale of Oscar predictions; the David Fincher of predicting the future; the Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook of picking movies that will win an honor!
Not you, not you, and not you!
Now, I now what you're saying. "DannyMoney, the last choice is not quite clear! You've got three listed!" Yeah, yeah.
Winter's Bone is first, and that's the one I'm going with. Got a problem? I'll give you 127 hours - OF PAIN. Which is exactly what that movie was about. James Franco in pain.
So yeah, just call me Oscardamus. And don't worry, DannySwami will be calling the winners right here, soon enough. Don't bet against me, suckas, you gonna get HURT.
Posted in
The Temp Life with tags
The Temp Life,
Spherion,
Wilson Cleveland,
Taryn Southern,
Tony Janning,
Sandheep,
comedy,
Office,
Illeana Douglas,
Mark Gant,
web,
web series on 1/3/2011 12:42:45 PM by DannyMoney
It's Monday, and that means it's back to work - but wait! There's good news!
"Good news?" you ask. "How could there be any good news, you jackass?" Well, Mondays mean that another new episode of The Temp Life has premiered on My Damn Channel, and this week everyone at the Celtons office is hungover - just like you are from all that New Year's celebrating you did.
So enjoy, and don't worry: Friday will be here soon enough.
Mark Your Calendars: November 17th, 2010 is National UnFriend Day.
From now until National UnFriend Day on November 17th, we'll be posting a
Public Service Announcement from Jimmy Kimmel and some celebrity
friends. You'll be able to see all of the videos at MyDamnChannel.com/JimmyKimmel
Facebook friends: we've all got 'em. But do we need them? Do we even KNOW them?!
There's your Aunt Karen, who plays FarmVille so much, you wonder how she ever gets any work done at her job at the DMV.
There's that guy who still writes his status updates in the third person
and he writes them CONSTANTLY: "Mike Smith is trying to decide what to
watch." "Mike Smith is really looking forward to seeing everyone at the
high school reunion!" So not only is Mike Smith ridiculously boring,
his third-person status updates are stuck in 2006.
There's that girl whose friend request you accepted because she looked hot in her profile picture, but whom you can't remember ever meeting in real life.
Well, okay. She's pretty hot. Maybe you won't UnFriend her.
But everyone else that you don't know and/or don't really like: UNFRIEND THEM ON NOVEMBER 17TH. Let's give fake friends the boot.
Look, even William Shatner's on board:
Make sure you follow Jimmy Kimmel and My Damn Channel on Twitter. We're going to be keeping track of people who pledge to join the National UnFriend Day movement with the hashtag #NUD.
Take the pledge and join us, won't you?
http://MyDamnChannel.com/JimmyKimmel
Posted in
Adam Carolla,
Howard Stern,
Maria,
Mark Malkoff,
Rob Barnett with tags
Adam Carolla,
Rob Barnett,
Mark Malkoff,
online advertising,
Las Vegas,
Blogworld,
Guinness World Records on 10/21/2010 1:51:34 AM by
Maria
Blogworld is the gift that keeps on giving!
While they were all in Las Vegas to do the closing keynote for Blogworld, founder/CEO Rob Barnett and Mark Malkoff made guest appearances on Adam Carolla's podcast.
Rob and Adam are old friends so naturally they talk about:
- *How they're both probably in higher demand for keynotes than Screech and Carrot Top
- *How they're probably not as in high demand as George Clooney and Brad Pitt
- *How Rob hired Adam to replace Howard Stern
- *How Penn Jillette is ridiculously tall
- *How My Damn Channel and The Adam Carolla Show are going to work together!!!
And, to that last point, we feel like this:
Mark Malkoff's segment begins around 40 minutes in, and Adam promptly calls him "Mark Mackoff." It's okay, though, they blame it on the bad handwriting of one of Adam's staff. And then they talk about:
So listen to the show now!
Or go to Adam's website to hear it!
You can even download it directly into iTunes!
Phew. That was a lot. Here, have a Rob Barnett and Adam Carolla chaser:
Posted in
Maria,
New Media,
Rob Barnett with tags
Mark Malkoff,
Cali Lewis,
Jeffrey Hayzlett,
Shira Lazar,
Penn Jillette,
Adam Carolla,
Blogworld,
Las Vegas,
New Media on 10/19/2010 5:00:02 AM by
Maria
Last weekend My Damn Channel founder/CEO Rob Barnett hosted all-star panel for the closing keynote at the Blogworld & New Media Expo in Las Vegas.
Some of Rob's old friends like Penn Jillette and Adam Carolla and some of Rob's new friends like Mark Malkoff, Cali Lewis and Jeff Hayzlett joined Rob onstage to chat about the ever-changing world of New Media (we named them for you from left to right):
Here's the whole gang together, including the event's MC, Shira Lazar (third from left):
And a lot of you are sad you missed it. A lot of you probably didn't even know you should've been in Vegas last weekend! Don't fear! You can watch the video here! Fast forward to the 17:55 mark to see what might be the best thing to happen in Vegas since legalized gambling and stripper poles: