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You've Been Hazed on 9/6/2011 9:45:10 AM by
Maria
WAKE UP and be more popular! Don't be like James Franco.
So you're back in school and you're bored already? Here are
5 Ways To Make Yourself More Popular.
1.
Find someone to haze. It's still early in the school year, right? Your professor is probably still learning names. If you're in a class where your instructor calls attendance, just start hazing people. "Steve Guttenberg?" "More like, Steve Not-So-Gutten-To-Be-Back-In-School! YOU'VE BEEN HAZED."
2.
Talk about how much you love Justin Bieber. His voice still hasn't broken so girls still see him as an asexual non-threatening type of fantasy crush, right? Also he's just, like, sooooooo CUUUUUUUTE.
3.
Tell them how much you love animals. Cats, especially. Who doesn't love a pussy...CAT. Pussycat. Jeez.
4.
Show your new roomies that you know how to cook. You should probably start with the
Faghetti'wich: fries and spaghetti on a sandwich...so, you know, all your basic college food groups. Later, when the local sandwich shop starts selling it you can get them to name it after you.
5.
Make a video for your new classmates telling them how much you love them. And how pretty you think they all are. And how you would totally have babies with them if they would let you. Because that's not creepy at all.
Good luck! Let us know if any of these things actually work to increase your popularity because then we will need to transfer to your school immediately.
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Cosplay on 7/15/2011 9:53:33 AM by Matt Warren
A young George Costanza?
Maybe you've seen the ads on billboards, in bus shelters, or projected onto the insides of your eyelids. Maybe you've seen Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, or the Other One making the rounds on the talk show circuit. Or maybe you need only to consult your very own "Mug Life" abdomen tattoo to be reminded that today--yes, today!--marks the release of the final Harry Potter movie,
Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part Two: Stagnetti's Revenge.
Yes, after a decade's worth of yeoman-like service at the multiplex, it's finally come time for this iteration of Harry Potter to power down, be put out to stud, and other such mixed metaphors. It's a bittersweet day for fans, but hopefully the release of the final film in the franchise will at least provide the answers to some longstanding mysteries, like "What's the deal with the smoke monster?", "Whatever happened to that Russian Paulie and Christopher let escape into the pine barrens?" and "So did A and X meet at this place last year, or what?"
Okay, so maybe I don't know anything about the Harry Potter franchise. But our very own
Daily Grace does...
And today, she
bids a tearful adieu to the Boy Who Lived. But if you want to avoid the waterworks, you can check in on Ms. Helbig in happier times, watching Part 1 of
Deathly Hallows, or over on her
Tumblr, wherein she ups her Hogwarts cosplay game considerably.