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Tag Matches For: imagine

A Valid Argument Is Necessary for Laughs

In case you missed this gem - and need a laugh on this Monday morning - here's a video you may have missed this weekend. We imagine that in the deep recesses of language that dogs and babies use to communicate, their interaction goes something like this:

[Cue the dramatic music]

Baby: My trustworthy minion - I have a mission for you. I need you to see who is in our place of slumber. Please get off of the couch and help me. My tiny legs and arms will have no affect on the intruder. Your screams are deeper and more terrifying than mine. You must help me do this or all might be lost. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Aid me and I will pet you awkwardly with my tiny hand and be forever grateful. Please help. PLEASE? No? FINE. I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS.

Dog: Dude. Have a bottle.

You can watch here.

Upturning Tables: An Anecdote

Posted on 6/4/2014 1:19:00 PM by DannyMoney

Cinematic Table Flips from Roman Holiday on Vimeo.

I have only flipped over a table on one occasion.

It was the summer of 2012.  I was attending a barbecue at my friend LaMonde's house in Bushwick, Brooklyn.

There was probably fifteen to twenty guests at the party that evening, most of them friends though some gathered there were strangers to me.

At about seven P.M., LaMonde said in his robust tenor, "Dinner is served, everyone!" and we gathered around the very large, round picnic table that was practically groaning under the weight of dozens of the finest summer dishes you could ever imagine.  Roasted squab, kobe beef burgers, duck fat macaroni salad, truffle infused potato salad, snails in a white wine sauce - you name it, the dish was there.  We dined in a decadence not seen since the court of Louis VXI!

So.  We are all sitting and eating, having a merry time in the waning dusklight, when suddenly Roger, my friend from University, exclaims, "I bet Dan couldn't upturn this table if his life depended on it!  His very life!" To which I replied, "I bet I could!  By my life, I swear it!"

And long story short I was indeed able to upturn the table on my thirty-ninth try, which I accomplished three hours later after everyone but I had left the party to go home and make love to their partners; and after the dishes had all been removed and I wasn't even angry at all, but happy, because I was able to finally do what I had set out to do.  In my mind, a large victory.  

called Roger the next day to tell him.  He said, "What?  I don't care, it's early," and he hung up and went back to bed.

I have never been invited to LaMonde's house since.


What's Next... At Least Until 11/23

The Bill Murray Show Starring Mark Malkoff

What To Look For On My Damn Channel In The Next Few Weeks:

Answerly - "Hayley Answers" 
It's Monday, and Hayley Hoover is back with advice for college students, covering everything from studying tips to eating on a limited budget. Bagels and instant ramen, anyone?

Comedian Mark Malkoff is determined to make a video each week until actor Bill Murray agrees to have dinner at Mark's home in Queens, New York. This week, the lovely Michelle Vargas coaches Mark on life and how to get the courage to meet Bill Murray. 

Kicking Dan Out, "Occupy" 
Starring comedian Dan St. Germain as a man who just can't seem to keep a gig, a girlfriend or a place to live. The pilot aired earlier this year during an episode of My Damn Channel LIVE. In this episode, Dan learns about dedicating yourself to a cause, then gets kicked out.

Don Was
New exclusive musical performances from July's Detroit All-Star Revue at the Concert of Colors!

My Damn Channel LIVE, Thanksgiving Spectacular!
Beth Hoyt and the My Damn Channel LIVE team are ready for November's biggest holiday. (Sorry, Veterans Day.)

Answerly, "Ask Joe" 
Joseph Birdsong gives SFW relationship and sex advice.

Essnemma, "Advice Thursday"
Every Thursday, Emma Caulfield answers questions that fans leave for her on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr.

Answerly, "Kristina Answers" 
Kristina Horner revels in her nerdiness with game reviews, movie reviews, and tips for how to feel less awkward.

The boys are back and town and by in town I mean on the internet. Join Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil every Monday as they talk about everything alien, paranormal, and strange.

Comedian Mark Malkoff is determined to make a video each week until actor Bill Murray agrees to have dinner at Mark' home in Queens, New York.

Status Kill, SEASON FINALE. Episode 9: "Quitting"
Have you ever thought of quitting Facebook? Well it turns out it may be way harder than you ever imagined.

Eat a bunch of turkey and stuff until we come back on Monday!

My Damn Channel LIVE goes dark from 11/19-11/23. New vlogs from Daily Grace every day, and new episodes of our how-to/advice series Answerly every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

What's Next... At Least Until 10/12 - UPDATED

Watch The Bill Murray Show Starring Mark Malkoff

What To Look For On My Damn Channel In The Next Few Weeks:

I missed posting this before October 1st! So sorry! I had to take a vacation and pretend the internet didn't exist. Blasphemy, you say? I don't care. It was GLORIOUS.

My Damn Channel LIVE, Special Guest: Dan Dobi
Grace Helbig hosts and interacts in real-time with fan comments! Her guest, Dan Dobi, made a Kickstarter-funded feature-length documentary called "Please Subscribe." It's about some of the biggest YouTubers and how constant vlogging has changed their lives.

The Bill Murray Show Starring Mark Malkoff, Episode 6
Comedian Mark Malkoff is determined to make a video each week until actor Bill Murray agrees to have dinner at Mark's home in Queens, New York. This week's guest, comedian Pat Godwin tells us about the time he met Bill Murray at the cast of the movie, "Wild Things."

Coffey Chat
Look for the latest episode from our newest vlogger, Shannon Coffey. New episodes every Tuesday!

Status Kill, "Way Too Cute"
Do constant pictures of cute animals on Facebook interrupt your work day? Pretty benign, right? Now imagine you worked as a highly trained special agent. Oh.

My Damn Channel LIVE, Special Guest: The Wing Girls
The Wing Girls bring their comedic dating advice to our studio and hang out with Beth!

Don Was, 2012 Detroit All-Star Revue at the Concert of Colors
Exclusive performances from this year's Concert of Colors! Watch super producer, Grammy-winner, and Blue Note president Don Was's latest vlog to find out more.

Throwback Thursday: Daily Grace - "Stefani Shows You How To Whip"
Each Thursday we'll highlight on our homepage a video from our archive. In honor of Jersey Shore's final season, we re-visit Grace's cousin Stefani... a Jersey girl through and through.

Co-op Of The Damned, Zombie Gangnam Style
Just because they're dead, doesn't mean they can't get in on the latest dance craze.

My Damn Channel LIVE, Special Guest:D.C. Pierson
D.C. Pierson is a member of Derrick Comedy (along with Donald Glover, Dominic Dierkes and Dan Eckman), and co-wrote their feature-length film Mystery Team. His first novel,The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep And Never Had To, was released by Random House in January 2010.

My Damn Channel LIVE, "Beth Of The Week"
Each Friday, My Damn Channel LIVE host Beth Hoyt recaps her favorite moments from a week's worth of LIVE shows. AND Beth's sister Julie is visiting from Wisconsin!

Answerly - "Hayley Answers"
It's Monday, and Hayley Hoover is back with advice for college students, covering everything from studying tips to eating on a limited budget. Bagels and instant ramen, anyone?

Also... NO My Damn Channel LIVE today! It's Columbus Day! A federal holiday! Are you working??? Bartleby your boss and tell him you "would prefer not to."

The Bill Murray Show Starring Mark Malkoff, Episode 7
Mark's video quest to get actor Bill Murray to visit Mark's home in Queens, NY continues. This week's guest... Jeffrey Gurian.

My Damn Channel LIVE, Special Guests: Lorraine Cink, Sandeep Parikh and Mickey Hawtrey
Daily Grace hosts and has the writer/host of Marvel's web series "The Watcher," Lorraine Cink! And then our resident superheroes from "Save The Supers", Sandeep Parikh (Merman) and Mickey Hawtrey (World Man), will also stop by!

The Jon Friedman Internet Program, Episode TBD
30 seconds is all you'll need to watch a single episode of comedian Jon Friedman's show. And we defy you not to get the theme song stuck in your head.

Answerly, "Ask Joe"
Joseph Birdsong gives SFW relationship and sex advice.

My Damn Channel LIVE, Special Guest: Julie Klausner
Comedian, podcaster, author Julie Klausner is Beth's guest in the studio.

Co-op Of The Damned, "Brains (Walking Dead Tribute Remix)"
In honor of the season premiere of The Walking Dead, a zombie pays homage to his fellow zombies in song.

Throwback Thursday: Daddy Knows Best, "Game Night"
In honor of the season premiere of FX's fantasy football series The League, we watch The League star Steve Rannazzisi get a little too intense at a different kind of game night.

Answerly, "Kristina Answers"
Kristina Horner revels in her nerdiness with game reviews, movie reviews, and tips for how to feel less awkward.

Don’t forget
, we also have new episodes of My Damn Channel LIVE every Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. ET, new vlogs from Daily Grace every day, and new episodes of our how-to/advice series Answerly every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

That Ain't Right

Posted in Eitan, That Ain't Right on 11/28/2011 6:00:00 AM by Eitan

It's time for another edition of That Ain't Right, a semi-regular feature in which we acknowledge that there are people in the world who may not know that My Damn Channel is a proper noun and complain a LOT about what's happening on/to/with their TV.

To which the only reply is, "That Ain't Right":

That Ain’t Right, @KissMy_Tweetinq sounds like your father is on a bit of a power trip. Sure, the bible says to respect your parents but I’m sure he would make an exemption for someone who is at risk of having their damn channel changed. Mr. KissMy_Tweetinq, That Ain’t Right.

That Ain’t Right, @DaTFIn3sTKiNg and myself are kindred spirits.
We both hate it when people come nd change my damn channel like ine been watchin tv,
Does it look like ine been watchin TV?!?!
Get your facts straight ppl.

Yet another victim falls at the hands of the lethal combination of Rain and Comcast. That Ain’t Right Comcast, That Ain’t Right. @Barbranicole1 just wanted to watch her damn channel guide. When will this madness end!
Damn you rain, Damn you satellite and damn you comcast. That Ain’t Right.

That Ain’t Right, Imagine searching for buried treasure for years and years. You have lost your family, lost your friends and lost the will to think about anything else besides for the buried treasure.
Now imagine after all those years you finally find it. You open the treasure box, take out the gold, raise it triumphantly in the sky and then BAM! Someone changes the damn channel!
@_RealLongHair finally found an episode of True Life that he liked and you change the channel! That Ain’t Right. That Just Ain’t Right.

That's all for this edition of That Ain't Right! Until next time, may nothing on this My Damn Channel be as stressful as when someone else has your remote control, Twitterland.

Steve Jobs, 1955-2011

And that's really what it is, isn't it?

We're all sitting here, staring at our iPhones in disbelief. Finding comfort in one of the tens of thousands of songs on our iPod. Searching the internet to share in the mourning en masse on our MacBooks.

After we're done here, we'll edit some videos using Final Cut Pro. While we listen to a playlist we made on iTunes. When we get hungry later, we'll use an app on our iPhone to figure out a good place nearby to eat. When we get home, we'll iChat with our parents across the country and tell them what we've been up to. Hell, even one of our most popular videos took place in an Apple Store.

For so many of us who never even met the man, we can't imagine what our lives would have been like without him.

The real brilliance of Steve Jobs's vision is that he believed we all deserved to live the lives of our dreams, and he gave us as many tangible tools as possible to try and do just that. How many of us began vlogging because we were experimenting with our iSights? How many of us became interested in telling stories because of iMovie? How many of us now see the world refracted through Steve Jobs's lens?

We're not the first to post this video, but its message bears repeating, even on days when it isn't almost painfully poignant:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Thanks for believing in all of us, Steve. You have to have known that you made a difference.

(Image via Jonathan Mak)

How To Be A Vlogger: Lesson Two

(Image via)

So. You've made your first vlog and told everyone that you didn't know what you were doing.

Sweet. What's next?

Well, one tactic that especially adventurous vloggers like to do is to treat the videoblogging experience like Twitter.

Like BAD Twitter.

Like the Twitter that you're afraid of finding in your timeline so you never even log on. Like the Twitter that you used to write when you didn't know what Twitter was and you thought that Facebook was just a fad and why can't we all just go back to MySpace already?!

Like this:

And-- just like last week-- this seems to work best when you don't have anything interesting or informative to share with the audience! People love being bored to death! It's crazy how that works! Those YouTube subscriptions should just start rolling in!

If you try out any of our vlogging tips, let us know how it goes-- especially if any of them work out for you, because, frankly, that's something we can only imagine. Seriously.

Come back next week when we'll discuss how to deal with the haters...

Can Chris Meloni Appear in a Wainy Days Episode, Please?

David Wain tweeted this tribute to Chris Meloni's Wet Hot American Summer character, "Gene From the Kitchen" this morning. And it made us think... why hasn't Chris Meloni appeared in an episode of Wainy Days yet? His Law & Order contract is up pretty soon... so we imagine he'll have a lot more time on his hands... so maybe...right? Right?!

And who else belongs in an episode of Wainy Days? Leave me a comment!

My Damn Channel Sees God and Others at "The Book of Mormon"

Jesse Cowell (My Damn Channel Director of Content),                      Rob Barnett, Josh Gad  
Josh Gad, Rob Barnett (My Damn Channel Founder/CEO)

We saw God last night (and others) at "The Book of Mormon" - the funniest, most original musical comedy on Broadway.

The show stars Josh Gad, our My Damn Channel brother & hero & the star of our newest comedy series, "Gigi: Almost American."

We're previewing Gigi now, created by Josh and The Lost Nomads. Our series launches 3/23. New episodes every Wednesday on My Damn Channel.

I decided not to read all the Mormon press or ask Josh all about the show before experiencing it fresh. This was such an orgasmic comedic masterpiece. Get tickets and see this for yourself. And we'll buy more and give them away like Santa, or the other guy.

"Mormon" was created by South Park's Matt Stone & Trey Parker with Avenue Q's Robert Lopez. We had insane comic heaven hangtime during and after the show with them all last night... along with The Pope: Jon Stewart; "Mormon" producer and show business Midas: Scott Rudin; the Head of Comedy Central and MTV Networks Entertainment Group: Doug Herzog; Iconic Legends Mike Nichols and Angelica Huston; our friends and heroes from IFC: Dan Pasternack & Debbie DeMontreux; and we even met Spock: Zachary Quinto

"The Pope" proves every time year after year that he's one of the most generous humans in the game. We were so stunned to see Mike Nichols, I couldn't imagine lame bla-bla and went to a spontaneous salute - which he returned!

We capped off the night and the cocktails with da man of the year, Josh Gad, eating 2am style pizza reminding us all of why we love the voodoo we do. God bless.

The Day in Horse News, 2/10/11

Posted with tags horses, unicorns, dolphins, Smashing Pumpkins, D'Arcy on 2/10/2011 10:56:59 AM by D'AnnyMoney


Ah, the age old question: Why do girls love horses, unicorns, and dolphins?  Well, according to Laurel Braitman, an MIT graduate student who was quoted in this NPR article about that very subject, it's because "horses and dolphins and unicorns...are all borderland creatures; gateway animals to other worlds."  Laurel continues, saying, "they help [girls] imagine wonderful other ways of being in the world. They let us be cowgirls and oceanographers and mermaids and princesses."  NPR always posts the most captivating articles! 

In other horse news, former Smashing Pumpkins bassist D'Arcy Wretzky was arrested for failing to pay fines and appear in court after she was ticketed for letting her horses run amok throughout her town.  I wonder if people would have minded if instead of horses D'Arcy had released unicorns.  A bunch of unicorns running around sounds kinda awesome, don't you think?  Especially if the unicorns are galloping to "Tonight, Tonight".  Just imagine how damned majestic that would be.

And that's the day in horse news.  Tune in for Manatee news next week!

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My Damn Channel is an entertainment studio and distributor of premium content, founded in 2007. The company creates original series for the Internet and television – including comedy, unscripted reality and live variety programming featuring established and emerging talent. My Damn Channel has produced hundreds of hours of original, critically-acclaimed and award-winning programming.

Our online video distribution network empowers cross-promotion across, YouTube, and other online, mobile and IPTV platforms. The company also creates branded entertainment and targeted distribution campaigns for major advertisers. My Damn Channel is a division of Omnivision Entertainment, launched in 2014 by Founder/CEO, Rob Barnett and Co-Founder/President, Warren Chao.