(L-R: Mitch, Thomas, Jim)
Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:
So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.
If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit
JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.
THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.
JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.
MITCH: My depression pills.
Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock
MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.
JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)
THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.
If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?
THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.
MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman
JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite? I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.
How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?
JIM: You get used to it.
THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.
MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.
Describe your dream girl.
MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.
JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.
THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.
What would a fan have to do to date you?
THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.
JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.
MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.
MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.
THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.
How do you deal with all the haters out there?
MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.
THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "
JIM: Uhhhhh wait what?
What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?
JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.
MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.
THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?
How would you describe your style?
JIM: Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.
MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.
How do you maintain such a hot body?
THOMAS: Layers and no AC.
MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.
JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen! And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!
Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.
Posted in Andy Milonakis
, Big Fat Brain
, David Wain
, Don Was
, Found Objects
, Harry Shearer
, My Damn Channel
, Perez Hilton
with tags Katie Couric
, Las Vegas
on 1/18/2008 11:18:00 AM by Rob Barnett
Happy weekend from the My Damn Channel boys and girls. We’ve got 5 artist channels with new videos premiering every day. This February, we’re adding 3 new channels, plus new site features & ways to interact. Here are 3 new clips to take the “weak” out of your weekend:
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS... SHOULD BE FILMED.
Perez Hilton on My Damn Channel
Andy Milonakis on the mic, Don Was on bass, David Wain on drums, and Perez....hosting our CES Party at the Palms in Vegas.
WE LOVE KATIE.
Behind the Scenes in New Hampshire
Harry Shearer’s “Found Objects” strikes again. This week’s episode went viral with over a million views in one day to break the My Damn Channel record. You’ll never look at Cindy McCain the same way again.
YOU STILL SUCK AT PHOTOSHOP.
Part 3 Premieres on the Big Fat Brain Channel
If you watch Donnie Hoyle’s latest tutorial, you might suck a little less. Then again…
Posted in A.D. Miles
, Andy Milonakis
, Don Was
, Steve Kerper
with tags A.D. Miles
, Andy Milonakis
, Don Was
, Mark Malkoff
, Steve Kerper
on 1/3/2008 9:48:00 AM by Rob Barnett
Shooting extremely twisted video this Sunday night at our CES opening night party in Vegas inside the Palms hotel. Don Was is producing. Andy Milonakis is Andy-ing. The rest is going to have to get down on tape to be real. Guest stars abound. Just saw an early cut of our new 'soap opera' series: HORRIBLE PEOPLE. Created by A.D. Miles.
Cookin' with Coolio is in pre-production in LA.
Getting early cuts of our first animated series: INVASION and our new BEDTIME STORIES series from creator, Steve Kerper. He will launch the CARNIVAL OF STUFF channel coming up. His "HAPPY HANNUKAH" video blew up &
made it into our Top 10 of 07.
Enough of us - another co-con deserves a standing ovation:
Filmmaker/Comedian to Live in IKEA Store for an Entire Week- Media Invited Tuesday, Jan 8 at 1pm
NEW YORK – Mark Malkoff, a filmmaker and comedian whose video "171 Starbucks" documented his visits to all of the coffee chain's Manhattan stores in a single day, will live in an IKEA store in Paramus, N.J., for an entire week starting Monday, Jan. 7.
"My apartment has to be fumigated and I need to move out for several days," said Malkoff, 31. "All of my friends have tiny studio apartments. Hotels in the city are too expensive. My apartment is 80 percent IKEA products anyway. Moving into an IKEA store makes sense."
Miraculously, IKEA has agreed to let Malkoff live in its Paramus store for the week. Each night, Malkoff will post a video recap of his day at www.MarkLivesInIKEA.com, which will be up beginning Jan. 7.
"This isn't a commercial for IKEA," Malkoff said. "They are not paying me to do this. To me, it made sense for my living circumstance and I thought it would make an interesting video. IKEA is giving me 100 percent creative control of the video content, which is pretty amazing."
Malkoff is best known for his video "171 Starbucks," in which he is shown visiting and consuming purchases at each of the ubiquitous coffee chain's locations in Manhattan in a single day. The stunt landed Malkoff on the "Today" show and on CNN, and made him the butt of one of Jay Leno's monologue jokes.
MEDIA ARE INVITED TO MARK'S BEDROOM SET IN IKEA IN PARAMUS, N.J., ON TUESDAY, JAN. 8, AT 1 P.M. PLEASE RSVP TO email@example.com
Location: For Press Inquires:
IKEA Mark Malkoff
100 Ikea Dr. (646) 207-0728 (cell)
Paramus, NJ 07652 firstname.lastname@example.org
Mark Malkoff is a comedian, writer and filmmaker. He has appeared as a guest on the "Today” show, CNN, Fox News Channel, ABC News, and Fox Business Network. He's also written for Radar Magazine and Steve Schirripa's talk show pilot for Fox. In July 2007, he produced and starred in a popular short video in which he visited and consumed purchases at all 171 Starbucks locations in Manhattan in one day. It can be viewed at www.171starbucks.com. Mark currently works as the audience coordinator on Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report." You can check out his work at www.markmalkoff.com
Posted in Adam Carolla
, FREE FM
with tags Adam Carolla
, FREE FM
, Howard Stern
on 12/19/2007 9:19:00 PM by Rob Barnett
Last weekend, I googled the man I hired for the awesome little job called "replace Howard Stern." I found an anonymous blog that smelled like something rotten was stinking up the kitchen at CBS: http://somedudefromjersey.blogspot.com/2007/12/shit-in-my-awesome-sandwich.html
Adam Carolla has a playbook filled with more options and winning strategies than any idiotic morning zoo or any hack program directors can ever hope to create. Danny Bonaduce was a desperate hail mary pass thrown by people too short-sited to see that it took Howard decades to build his radio empire. When Stern first syndicated, it took four years for him to lay waste to the competition. Adam was always first to say that Howard was irreplaceable. I couldn't have agreed more. But when 'the KING' departed for a new throne, someone was left having to figure out how to start over. That someone was me.
I went home the night that I was given the ball and told my wife there was good news & bad news. The good news was that I was made President of CBS Radio programming. The bad news is that I had to figure out how to replace Howard. We'll skip the long stories here about who the REAL choice was for NY & save all that for later. The ONLY choice for LA, and for the west coast Stern stations was the man who'd been on Howard's show for scores of LIVE appearances - the man who rocked THE MAN SHOW with Brother Jimmy Kimmel - the man who made LOVELINE a latenight hit - the man with unique comic skills to improv and create immediate compelling content out of every scrap of raw material - the man who can build a house with his bare hands - and you get the drift: C-A-R-O-L-L-A.
We gave Adam a new start in a new format called FREE FM.
Our mission wasn't complex. Hire BIG talent and give them the support and freedom they need to build better radio on their own terms. People are sick of over-formatted radio with too many commercial interuptions. No breaking news there. Talent is the only answer to better ratings and revenues. But old media doesn't have a terrific track record backing talent. The current writers' strike is front page news that tells the same story in Hollywood.
A great drama seems to be unfolding. Morning radio fans in LA, Vegas, San Francisco, Seattle, Sacramento, Reno, Fresno, Palm Springs, Portland (Oregon & Maine), Boise, and Pittsburgh wait to find out if Adam Carolla will be back on January 2nd.
I'll lay down this bet with a song:
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go.