(Image via)
Jonah Hill is skinny.
Perhaps you've heard? He's in a new movie called
Moneyball and he's been making the promotional rounds and we're here to tell you that the rumors are true: he's super-slimmed down.
You see, it just so happens that your
humble My Damn Channel blogger went to a professional baseball game last week and saw him in person when he threw out the first pitch:
(Image via @Athletics)
It is a very different look from his
Wainy Days role:
But just like we told our mom when she asked, "Is that the same guy from your Wainy Days show? Is he a good friend of yours or something? Should you go down to the field and say 'hi' to him?" We'll tell you the truth:
"Yes it's the same guy."
"No, we're not good friends."
"NO, MOM, WE'RE NOT GOING DOWN TO THE FIELD TO SAY 'HI.'"
But that last part was mostly just because security wouldn't let us.
We have a
foursquare page!
We debuted it in stealth mode a couple of weeks ago, but we figured it would be a good time to tell everyone about its existence today since
Mark Malkoff would be checking in all over New York City.
So you should follow us on foursquare. We're
making lists of places you should go, curated carefully by our staff. We're giving you
tips on what to do to ensure maximum fun time. And since our staff are the ones making these lists, you might even run into one of us
having a drink somewhere,
or just laughing really hard at with our friends.
We'll also use the page to
tell you when we're doing fun things and carrying around free My Damn Channel swag to give away to our friends.
So follow us, friend us and hang out with us. Unless that restraining order is still in effect (you know who you are).
If you knew that your best friend/boss/dog had an audition for a Jack Black movie, you would choose immediately to:
A) Stay up all night helping your best friend/boss/dog learn his lines and doing the best Jack Black impersonation you could so your best friend/boss/dog won't be too starstruck when meeting him.
B) Stay up all night discussing how much you hate this new incarnation of Jack Black and you miss all the old "Tenacious D" stuff and then ask your best friend/boss/dog if maybe he could get Jack Black to sign one of your old "Tenacious D" CD's because-- of course-- you still have CD's.
C) Stay up all night throwing your best friend/boss/dog the most righteous party.
The answer is obvious, isn't it?
Watch the episode and see how obvious it is.
And put those Tenacious D CD's away. And don't ever show them to a girl. Seriously.
(L-R: Mitch, Thomas, Jim)
Editor's Note: Today we have guest bloggers! The Worst Generation is our newest series and we thought it might be nice for you to get to know its stars a little more intimately, so here they are:
So, My Damn Channel wants us to do some type of blog thingy to kinda introduce ourselves to the people of the internet. Since we don't have any actual "fan mail" (or even "fans" for that matter), I've ripped off a few questions from a Justin Bieber fan site for us to answer. Answer these bad boys and any other questions you can think of to get this bad boy rollin'.
+++++++++++++++++++
If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you what would it be?
- Roxy, 13, Detroit
JIM: Hi Roxy. Thanks for watching. I'd probably have to grab my amazing-incredible-pornography box, a.k.a. my computer. Either that or my collection of Simpsons action figures.
THOMAS: Bauer, he's the only hope any of us have for success. And you're an idiot Jim the question clearly stated one thing that you would take and you clearly listed two.
JIM: I get nervous talking to people from Detroit. She probably just wants to steal our stuff.
MITCH: My depression pills.
Where do you get your best love advice?
- Lonely in Little Rock
MITCH: My dad once told me. "never take home the three legged dog from the pound just because you feel sorry for it." That made since when I was 9 and it still does to this day.
JIM: I've tried it all; tarot cards, gypsy palm readings, fortune cookies, magic 8 balls... and I found the best place for you to get your love advise... is from inside your heart :)
THOMAS: I just watch what Mitch does, and it teaches me exactly what NOT to do as far as love is concerned.
If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would it be?
THOMAS: I don't really care as long as those three people are buying. And it better be some gourmet shit, if I have to go listen to three other people bore me to death I don't want to do it over a Big Mac and fries.
MITCH: Bo Jackson, The Pope, and Dennis Rodman
JIM: Wow Mitch, what are the odds of the Pope even responding to that evite? I'm going with Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. In their primes. Next question.
How does it feel to be mobbed by screaming girls?
JIM: You get used to it.
THOMAS: Feels normal, they've been doing it my whole life.
MITCH: Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of it all. Other times, it gets annoying having to hear all the jibber-jabber that comes along with it.
Describe your dream girl.
MITCH: I hear your dream girl is actually a version of your mother. So probably an annoying old bitch.
JIM: My dream girl is funny, smart, nice smile, pretty eyes, caring of others, and got an ass so big you can see it from the front.
THOMAS: Depends on my mood. And the season.
What would a fan have to do to date you?
THOMAS: Tell me their daddy was Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jerry Bruckheimer or any such type of person, so that I can leave these clowns of TWG behind and get started on my life doing something that is actually worth a shit.
JIM: Be 18 years old and have a vagina. A trust fund wouldn't hurt either.
MITCH: Have you ever heard of a ballcuzzi?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
JIM: Hopefully off of unemployment and out of my parents' basement.
MITCH: Cute cottage near the sea with roommates that make me breakfast and flush the toilet once in a while... or unemployed in my parents basement.
THOMAS: Dating Spielberg's daughter.
How do you deal with all the haters out there?
MITCH: I always carry a butterfly knife I got in Baja. Can't hate when you're getting stabbed.
THOMAS: In the words of Tupac: " Fuck it. I feel like I shine. And I don't give a fuck how many white people, the Media, black people, playa haters, police, whoever, try to darken my shine, Im'a always shine through. "
JIM: Uhhhhh wait what?
What would you do if all the fame went away tomorrow?
JIM: If all of this fame was suddenly taken away from me, I'd probably blow my head off.
MITCH: It would be a long way to fall, but I'm sure I could still pull ass so who cares.
THOMAS: Be excited that I'd never have to answer stupid questions like these again. Is this really what you want us to do Jimmy? Whataya' stupid or something?
How would you describe your style?
THOMAS: Lazy
JIM: Oh I dunno, maybe rural-chic with an urban twist.
MITCH: Commando, Ballistic, and Fresh.
How do you maintain such a hot body?
THOMAS: Layers and no AC.
MITCH: Commitment to Excellence.
JIM: More like commitment to purging after every meal. I usually lift like 8 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Editor: Uh, thanks, guys! We'll all be watching you and Bauer every Tuesday at www.MyDamnChannel.com/TheWorstGeneration! And following you on Twitter at @TheWorstGen! And on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheWorstGeneration!
Otherwise we'll be avoiding Mitch and his butterfly knife.
According to the LA Times, this man has already started camping out in front of a London Apple Store to ensure he is first in line whenever the new iPhone comes out.
Let us take a moment to note that as of this writing, Apple has NOT EVEN ANNOUNCED THAT THERE IS A NEW IPHONE RELEASE, let alone a prospective release date.
And, whatever. We bet this guy doesn't even
have a goat.
Posted in
Harry Shearer,
Matt Warren,
My Damn Channel,
YouTube with tags
Harry Shearer,
TSA,
air travel,
Spinal Tap,
Rob Reiner,
Touch My Junk,
PS22,
TSA pat down,
airline security,
airport security on 4/15/2011 9:47:53 AM by Matt Warren
In case you haven't heard, the TSA is now giving pat-downs to six-year-olds. And while we admire the TSA's consistency, we can't help but wonder if this is one of those times when common sense could have prevailed and an exception perhaps been made. I'm guessing the biggest threat poised by the girl in the video is the possibility of getting roped into a hyperactive, one-sided conversation about Justin Beiber. God, kids will not SHUT UP about that guy.
Nevertheless, maybe instead of wasting their time with Journey, the kids of PS22 should brace themselves for the realities of modern air travel and instead do a cover of Harry Shearer's "Touch My Junk." In fact, I can't think of one single reason why this might be a bad idea. Oh wait, I just thought of about five-hundred. Never mind.
Harry Shearer is angry, y'all.
Air travel used to be romantic. Boyfriends and girlfriends could drop each other off at the airport and make out until the final boarding call sounded over the intercom. Whole families could wait at the gate for their kids to come home from college at Christmas. Travelers used to be able to choose belts and shoes for reasons that had nothing to do with how easy they were to remove quickly in airport security lines.
These days it's a good day if your flight takes off within three hours of its scheduled departure time.
So for every one of us who has been subjected to a random luggage screening, or forgotten to take off our earrings before going through a metal detector, or had half a bottle of water in his carry-on, or had a tube of toothpaste larger than 4 ounces... for every one of us who has had to explain an oddly-shaped item in our suitcase, had to pay an extra $100 just to take luggage on vacation... for anyone who has embarrassed herself by forgetting that she had her phone in her back pocket when she went through the scanner, or anyone who has had an anxiety attack when a TSA agent picks your bag up off of the conveyor belt and asks, "Is this yours?" For anyone who has ever fantasized about screaming at the family with five kids and the stroller: "JUST FOLD THE DAMN THING UP BEFORE YOU GET IN THE SECURITY LINE!"
For everyone who's mad as hell that a trip through airport security might mean an inadvertent game of rub and tickle, this song's for you:
TOUCH MY JUNK!
My Damn Channel invites many of you to join many of us for a night of holiday fun this Wednesday.
We love the host, the concept, the line-up, the venue, the booze, the schmooze, and - you.
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH, a chat show all about jobs, work and labor.
SHOW INFO: www.catielazarus.com
Catie Lazarus interviews and honors the following for their work:
Q & A, performances, shmooze & booze.
8 pm, March 17th, 2010, at the 92 Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street, NY, NY 10013
TICKETS: http://tiny.cc/T0jwc
Subway 1/9 Canal or C/E Canal.
*SLIDING SCALE for those in need, contact info at catielazarus.com.....
On Valentine's Day, a bunch of folks from the My Damn Channel family went on a special date with our favorite gal pals, GraceNMichelle.
Pictured above left: (L-R) Kevin Flynn ("Puca"), Joshua Nicholson ("MRJOTZ"), Anthony Willingham ("Calvin Bentington"), KT Pierce ("Harvey Potato"/"ktgilead"), and James Dunne ("smokybanjo").
All other pictures: Grace Helbig (from My Damn Channel's Daily Grace) and Michelle Vargas nerding it up at The People's Imrpov Theater during their Valentine's Day comedy sketch show: 2 Girls 1 CUPid.
Not pictured, our twitter/facebook lady, Armeni Kamciyan, also came down to watch the girls shake their booties and put on a performance to steal (and eventually melt) all of our evil/cold hearts.
Just in case you missed the news, Puca and Smokybanjo flew all the way from Ireland to meet everyone and they had no idea what they were in for at Sunday night's show.
They sat in their seats, innocently watching while the girls paraded
around on stage drooling over their fictitious love interests, "Ross
and Ryan" - who, consequently, ended up being the lucky Puca &
Smokybanjo. They didn't even have to worry about memorizing any lines
to play the part - they were handed tiny pieces of paper (shaped like
little red hearts). It went something like this:
Grace: Do you love us?
Ross & Ryan: No.
Michelle: Why don't you love us?
Ross & Ryan: Because we love each other!
(The crowd roars with laughter)
That was a tough one to make the boys say out loud...
Keep up with GraceNMichelle, and maybe you'll bump into one of us at their next show...
gracenmichelle.tumblr.com
twitter.com/gracenmichelle
Vince who? Owen who?
Grace Helbig and Dave Ahdoot are the hosts of the newest My Damn Channel series:
GRACE CRASHERS presented by SOUTHERN COMFORT
Grace & Dave invade office parties for Halloween, the holidays, and “the Big Game.” The series will wrap on-location at Mardi Gras in New Orleans (because we can!).
Episode one: HALLOWEEN