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Mark Malkoff Will Spend Five Days in the Bathroom

Mark Malkoff is worn out.

Mark texts. Mark tweets. Mark emails and Facebooks and YouTubes and iPhones and does a million other brand-name things that popular culture has turned into verbs. It is a lot of work to stay connected to everyone all over the world wide web at one time, and Mark is starting to find it all a little taxing.

So he's going to check out for five days in a place where no distractions will get to him: his bathroom.

Sounds like a good idea, right?

Mark's even gong to try to be productive during his Week With No Internet. He's going to try and finish that book he's been meaning to read. He's going to learn that song he's been meaning to play. He's going to write that poem for his wife he's been meaning to write. Aw. That's sweet. And all the while, he's going to shoot footage and put it all into one awesome video, which we can all watch on his channel at on September 8th.

We're pretty excited to have Mark Malkoff on our team. After all, anyone who can visit every single Starbucks in Manhattan in a single day is a friend of ours. And since he lived in a New Jersey IKEA for a week, he'd probably know better than anyone how to wield a an allen wrench. And, he knows Lisa Loeb, so, you know, bonus points:

To be honest, we're jealous. We wish that we could check out for five days. We wouldn't talk to ANYONE. Except we wouldn't do it in our bathroom. We'd do it on an island somewhere, and, okay, so MAYBE we'd talk to someone... but it would be because he was the bartender and we had to tell him what kind of wonderfully fruity drink to bring us. But other than him, no one.

Good luck, with this one, Mark.  We think you're gonna need it.


7 days to go. If you watch and listen to all the blabber, you'd think we can't keep a thought in our head if it doesn't fit into the smallest possible soundbite to stir up the greatest possible doubt.

Here are some of the code words to move you to VOTE like a simpleton.


This red meat sampler only scratches the surface of the games played on all sides behind McCain and Obama to scare you into action.

Do something COMPLETELY AMERICAN - in 7 days (or sooner if you can early vote) - walk into a voting booth - put all the bullshit aside - and make the smartest possible choice to elect your next President.

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