1. Congressman Todd Akin (R, MO) tried to bolster his anti-abortion stance-- even for rape victims-- by claiming "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." The internet's collective mind exploded. Even worse, Congressman Akin serves on the House Science and Technology Committee, which goes to show they'll let just about anybody on that thing.

2. The Expendables 2 was number one at movie theaters this weekend, knocking The Bourne Legacy from the top of the movie mountain. Which just goes to show that Hollywood studios CAN make movies starring senior citizens and make money!

3. Fifty Shades Of Grey (aka The Book I Thought Was So Bad I Have Officially Lost Faith In Humanity) was finally knocked from its perch atop Amazon's Best Seller list by The Legend Of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, an encyclopedic companion to the video game. Surely there's some allegory here about geeks overpowering horny housewives that E.L. James can turn into her next best-selling piece of awfulness.

4. Director Tony Scott committed suicide by jumping off a bridge in San Pedro, California. Tony Scott's resume included director of films such as Beverly Hills Cop II, Top Gun and True Romance. With his older brother, Ridley Scott, he executive produced The Good Wife.

5. Taylor Swift is dating a Kennedy. Can't wait until they break up and all of all of her songs take on a broken-hearted New England lilt.

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