Yesterday, Apple announced the iPhone 5.

And now you want to know how it compares to other smartphones. But why is all of the iPhone coverage you read so boring and dry? Where's the humor? Where's the wit?

Well, needy phone fan, Slacktory is here to help. They're covering the iPhone 5 announcement and subsequent online debates. And they've already used more sarcasm than Tim Cook has used probably in his entire life. It's the coverage that speaks to you, the smart and savvy consumer whose identity is informed not soley by the smartphone you choose, but also the research you do to choose it.

(*Um, this is an entirely unverifiable statement and I do not stand behind it. But, hit me up, Tim, if you'd like to comment!)