All these "celebrities" endorse alcohol and I-- as an incredibly influential blogger-- am sick of it! What kind of example is Lil' Kim setting for the children? Wait... do the children even know who Lil' Kim is? As a public service, here are a few recommendations for products other than alcohol that celebrities can endorse:

1. Hey, P. Diddy (if that's your real name)! How about endorsing sunglasses since no one has seen your eyes 2003 (if you even have eyes)!

2. Hey Jersey Shore Douche, why don't you promote not wearing a shirt ever because even though I don't know your name (and refuse to google it) I don't think I've ever seen you with a shirt on.

3. Hey Dan Aykroyd, I just found out you endorse alcohol as well. Here's an idea, why don't you endorse not taking classic films and ruining them by making a third installment 20 years later?

Oh right, because alcohol is fun. Tweet me an endorsement deal: @MrChrisDonahue