The Night Feed
, Posted on 11/14/2012 by
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and that can only mean one thing: side dishes. For too long, turkey has stolen the spotlight of the Thanksgiving meal, but it's so overrated. I mean, it's always too dry and you have to cut it with an electric knife. It's all about the side dishes. Allow me to run you through my favorites.
Mashed Potatoes - When the pilgrims came to the new world they decided they had to seperate themselves from the tyranical potato preferances of the English. How do you improve upon potatoes though? Answer: mash them up and add a metric ton of butter to them. The pilgrms were onto something; mashed potatoes are basically edible silk, if silk slowly blocked your arteries with delicious, delious cholesterol.
Sweet Potato Casserole - I'm from Minnesota, a land where casserole is king. Remember how I said I really liked mashed potatoes? Sweet potato casserole is kinda similar, but get this: it's got MARSHMALLOWS. I know what you're thinking, "Who was the mad genius who thought it ws acceptable to put a dessert ingredient in a side dish?" I don't know! But if I ever find out I want to give them a kiss on the forehead because it's exactly that kind of outside-the-box thinking that we need more of at the dinner table.
NOT Cranberry Sauce - I hate cranberry sauce. It's fetid and disgusting and will never come within a mile of my plate. I mean look at it. Its refusal to even pretend to not be from a can is an affront to everything that Thanksgiving stands for and should be shunned from our tables. DO NOT eat cranberry sauce. It's one of the most un-American thing you can possibly do.
Pumpkin Pie - Pumpkin Mother Fuckin Pie y'all! The coup d'état of the meal. The seizure of power. The putsch of Thanksgiving. I'm just now realizing that thesaurus entries for coup d'état don't really work here. That said, pumpking pie is the best. Who knew a mushed up gourd could be so delicous? You add a little (or enormous) dollop of whipped cream on there and you are good to go... puke in the bathroom because you ate so much.
I already can't wait to stuff my face to capacity. What are some other good side dishes you guys are excited to eat? Watch My Damn Channel LIVE today for more Thanksgiving madness!