With Halloween right around the corner, everybody is searching for the perfect getup. After extensive research, I've managed to pull together a list of the Top Five Worst Halloween Costumes You Could Wear This Season:
1. Orange Inflatable Costume - "Hey guys, check out my costume. What am I? Uh... a giant, inflatable, faceless blob. Obviously".
2. A Fried Egg - You'd think a fried egg costume would be a clever pun or reference to a movie. Nope. It's literally just a tunic with a huge friend egg on it. The website recommends having your signifigant other dress up like bacon and going as a couple which is literally the only way I can think to make this costume worse.
3. Skull Commando Costume (pictured left) - Am I missing something? A sunglasses-wearing skeleton with a machine gun who's wearing a keffiyeh and also... he's British? I thought this must've been a character from a video game but in actuality it's just the brainchild of a costume designer who hasn't slept in three days.
4. Oversized Punk Zombie Teen - "We only have three minutes to make this costume! Quick, throw out the first four words that come to your mind!"
5. Garden Gnome Baby Costume - Wait, this one is actually pretty awesome. Look how f*cking cute that is! Ok, I gotta find a crappy kids costume. How about a Popeye costume? Even more adorable! Damnit!
Got more? Tell me @petersoncinema. Or maybe don't tell me and spare me the horror.