People keep telling me about some sort of Mars landing, and how the Olympics are so great (apparently there was some sort of Call Me Maybe lip dub video, I don't know), but I can't even be bothered with that stuff, because, guys, have you seen what's going on in the world of reality TV?! I don't have time for any scientific discoveries when Honey Boo Boo is coming out on TLC. We need to prepare people, this is not a drill. 

This Week:

TVgasm has the official scoop on the sixth season of the Jersey Shore, and the second season of the Snooki and JWoww show (which apparently is a thing). Really though, it's good that Snooki has this show to fall back on... you know, if her career as a chemical engineer falls through.

Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion, supposedly after a spiritual experience in Jamaica. TVgasm has some more info, but what I'm wondering is if Snoop will become Mountain Lion in a few months, and charge an extra 20 bucks for every show he does.

I wasn't kidding when i said that Honey Boo Boo is coming to TLC. The new trailer is out, TVgasm is all over it, and I could not be more excited/horrified about this show. On some level I just hope it's scripted so that I can know that there aren't humans who actually act like this.

TVgasm has another episode of Mornin' Time, starring a really, really gay chicken who will not be silenced. C'mon, Chick-Fil-A: just stop bullying this chicken, and let us eat him (her?). Whatever, let us eat this genderless chicken.

Remember: Just because TV watching isn't an Olympic event that doesn't mean you're not a winner.