Do you guys know how important it is to wash your hands?

Let me give you a little "what if" scenario, illustrating why you need to wash your hands, or at the very least, sanitize them:

What if you're, like, uh, eating a donut or something, and then you have... uh... an important business meeting about... uh... finances and... uh... your hands are all dirty from the doughnut!? Yeah! Right? Your fingers would be sticky with glaze and and have bits of fried dough pieces all over them! That would be terrible, right? Then you go to this important business meeting, and you go to shake hands with someone, that guy gets grossed out by your dirty hands and then you lose your job and your wife leaves you for the mailman and you find out that you're an orphan. What if that happened to you?! Your life would be ruined!

Moral of the story: Wash (or sanitize) your hands!