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Do you love reality TV as much as I do? Probably not, but if your obsession is anywhere close to my own, our friends at TVgasm have you covered. As the new summer lineup of reality shows premieres, TVgasm is here for you to ensure you don't miss anything... and we at My Damn Channel are going to double down on that by ensuring you don't miss anything from TVgasm!

This week:

They checked in with a few of your (and my) favorite celebrity chefs to talk about their summer reality series. And it gets SPICY. (Pun INTENDED.)

If you're more of a Real Housewives kind of person (and let's face it: who isn't?) check out TVgasm's ReDub videos of the RHOC for a more accurate reading of what the housewives are actually saying. (HINT: Not very much.)

Last-- and BEST-- TVgasm has the scoop on everyone's favorite Toddlers and Tiaras contestant Alana, better known as Honey Boo Boo Child. She has her own spinoff this summer! I won't give away the name, but it is by far my favorite part of the whole concept.

Remember: please watch reality television safely. Remember to bathe, eat and above all, yell at the tiny people inside your TV.

Welcome to another TVgasm Tuesday! Because I've made it my duty to inform the general public of pertinent and important information, I think I should tell you right away about the social event of the year, nay….the decade. It's a Honey Boo Boo wedding, y'all. If my sources are correct the theme will be "The Victorian Era" and it will take place at Buckinham Palace where Queen Elizabeth will be the ring bearer/flower girl. Do you want to feel bad about yourself!? Of course you do! Go read about how much more money The Real Housewives make than you.  I mean sure, I haven't bought groceries in a few weeks, but it makes sense that these women get paid millions of dollars for drinking white wine and fake laughing all day. 

Ok this one actually cheered me up a little bit after my post Real Housewives-rage: Justin Bieber reportedly got attacked/humped/hugged while on stage at a concert in Dubai. Ah to be a young desperate horny Justin Bieber fan in Dubai! Oh…just kidding that actually sounds like the worst. And last, but most certainly not least, it's now being reported that Steve Carrel will for sure be returning for the series finale of the Office! What are these feelings I'm feeling? Happy, horribly depressed, lonely, ecstatic? Let's see what TVgasm has

This Week:

Joe Francis could face up to five years in jail for assaulting some women after taking them to his home. Who would have thought the creator of "Girl Gone Wild" wouldn't have respect for women?!

Do you guys remember Fantasia Barrino? She won American Idol at some point, and then she probably did some other stuff (like the Wendy Williams Show, and The Color Purple). Let's find out together what her deal is!

Please tell me you've been following the Lindsey Lohan going to rehab drama. First she was going, and then she wasn't going, and now she's there….but for how long? My guess is she'll somehow take over the rehab facility in some kind of Lord of the Flies type drama. 

Remember: If you're ever in need of money, put on some press-on nails, dye your skin fluorescent orange, and wait for Bravo to arrive to start taping you

Tweet me your Honey Boo Boo wedding vows @Sam_The_Stone

Welcome to another TVgasm Tuesday, let's just go ahead and get right down to business, we have a lot to cover today. Did you know Taylor Swift released a new album? If you live within a 4 mile radius of human civilization, the answer is most likely yes. But did you know most of Taylor Swift's album is about guys breaking up with Taylor Swift?….well yeah I guess you probably did. In other news, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are getting married, and will, I assume, eventually have perfect little angel-babies that will each be born with a full set of abs and more charisma than I will ever be able to muster. Unfortunately their given couple name is "TimberBiel" which kind of sounds like the name for five different Ikea nightstands. Don't focus on that, focus on the perfect angel-babies, and let's check out TVgasm:

This week:

If any of you undecided voters needed help during this trying election, Honey Boo Boo is officially an Obama supporter. Of course, directly after she gave her endorsement she bounced on a couch for several minutes, and then dunked her entire hand into a glass of water, so…make of that what you will. Watch the entire clip over at TVgasm!

Is Community on again yet? No? C'mon NBC get your shit together. How about we cut hour seven of the Today show, you know the one that's just Al Roker making puns straight to the camera, and air some community then? In the mean time, I'll have to tide myself over with this video over at TVgasm, go watch!

Have you been keeping up with Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition? If you haven't been watching, it's a spin-off of Dance Moms, and TVgasm has the recap to catch you up. Go read it, so we can talk about it, because no one I know watches it, and I am dying slowly.

Remember: Life is not reality TV. As every angry girl on reality TV will tell you "THIS IS NOT A BEST FRIEND MAKING CONTEST", and real life is basically the opposite. 

Stop everything, internet, we have some breaking news! Well, not breaking like happening right now, I guess… but it's like super important stuff. Get ready for some entertainment news that will literally* make your face explode. Did you hear The Biebs totes vommed on stage? Gross (although I won't pretend I haven't watched the video several times, no judgement). Also, Adele is releasing a new song for the newest Bond movie "Skyfall". I assume it will be mostly her screaming, but I'm excited anyways. Probably the most outrageous story is that Robert Pattinson was named world's sexiest man again, even though I KEEP on sending in my headshots. THIS CONTEST IS RIGGED. Ok let's write our complaint letters, and see what TVgasm has for us.

*figuratively 

This Week:

We've all heard about TLC's "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"; how terrible it is, how it's everything wrong with society, how we're secretly envious of how confidently Alana wears those tank tops. During the new season, though, the Honey Boo Boo clan will be getting a major pay raise. Click to read TVgasm's full story. Will Mama still be coupon queen with all this extra money?! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!

How much do you love Sesame Street? If you are human with a functioning heart, the answer is probably A WHOLE LOT. Remember that time they spoofed Glee? Well this one is like that one but better! Go watch!

It appears someone has messed with Caroline Manzo's Fambuhly. They have messed with her Fambuhly, and they are GAHBAGE! Clearly Mama Manzo needs some help, and TVgasm is here with some support in the most recent Dear TVgasm!

Remember: If you weren't named world's sexiest man, it's probably because you were nominated for universe's sexiest man…..right? RIGHT?!

People keep telling me about some sort of Mars landing, and how the Olympics are so great (apparently there was some sort of Call Me Maybe lip dub video, I don't know), but I can't even be bothered with that stuff, because, guys, have you seen what's going on in the world of reality TV?! I don't have time for any scientific discoveries when Honey Boo Boo is coming out on TLC. We need to prepare people, this is not a drill. 

This Week:

TVgasm has the official scoop on the sixth season of the Jersey Shore, and the second season of the Snooki and JWoww show (which apparently is a thing). Really though, it's good that Snooki has this show to fall back on... you know, if her career as a chemical engineer falls through.

Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion, supposedly after a spiritual experience in Jamaica. TVgasm has some more info, but what I'm wondering is if Snoop will become Mountain Lion in a few months, and charge an extra 20 bucks for every show he does.

I wasn't kidding when i said that Honey Boo Boo is coming to TLC. The new trailer is out, TVgasm is all over it, and I could not be more excited/horrified about this show. On some level I just hope it's scripted so that I can know that there aren't humans who actually act like this.

TVgasm has another episode of Mornin' Time, starring a really, really gay chicken who will not be silenced. C'mon, Chick-Fil-A: just stop bullying this chicken, and let us eat him (her?). Whatever, let us eat this genderless chicken.

Remember: Just because TV watching isn't an Olympic event that doesn't mean you're not a winner.

It's TVgasm Tuesday once again, and there has been some intense TV news this week, so get ready to be punched right in the nostalgia bone. If you were alive in the early 2000's (and very busy being a chubby middle schooler like this cool guy) you are going to straight up barf when you hear that Whose Line is it Anyway? is returning to television. If you're not already barfing, you will when you see pictures from the set of Anchorman 2 (also did you know Kristin Wiig is in this one? Because I did not, and that is a big deal). 

In other news Fox has renewed a few shows which is… well, exciting isn't the right word, but, I mean, I guess I'll probably watch them, I don't know. Game of Thrones has released new promotion posters for their new season, so call your older brother's nerdy friend, tell him the great news and listen as he mouth-breathes frantically in excitement. Downton Abbey has also released new "official" photos for season four, so call your mom's fortysomething friend, tell her the great news, and listen as she struggles to write a poorly worded Facebook status about it. 

This week on TVgasm:

Heidi Klum is back on top! Or at least, she's being paid a lot of money for very little work-- which is what I consider to be "the top!" Click to find out which show hired her!

The CW's 90210 is finally getting cancelled after five seasons of no one being interested in it. Listen, The CW, I'm all about revamps, but next time, let's try for some quality shows like…oh, I don't know...really ANYthing that won't revolve around nameless hot blonde teenagers storming out of rooms.

It's been a while since I've read or written anything about Honey Boo Boo, so I was really excited to read TVgasm's post about her girl scout cookies campaign. I think the next questions are: Will she be running with Hillary in 2016? Or will she start her own campaign? And what does she think about the current geopolitical climate?!

Remember: Don't judge someone for mouth-breathing. Actually don't do anything with someone who mouth-breathes.

Tweet me about TV if you're not a mouth-breather at Sam_The_Stone.

Most people remember Rick Moranis as the lovable goof from such films as Ghostbusters, Spaceballs and Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. He was all the rage in the 80's and early 90's but then seemed to have fallen off the map. What happened to him?

In 1991 Rick tragically lost his wife Anne to liver cancer. Being a newly single parent Rick took some time off from acting to concentrate on raising his kids. "I took a little bit of a break. And the little bit of a break turned into a longer break, and then I found that I really didn't miss it."

He officially called it quits in 1997 and hasn't made a movie since. So what has he been doing? Apparently, plenty. In 2004 he served on the Advisory Committee for the comedy program at Humber College and in 2005 he cut a country western album called The Agoraphobic Cowboy that was nominated for the Grammy for Best Comedy Album. The next year he was on the Conan O'Brien show where he discussed his new career in music and performed some songs.

For years the rumor mills have been swirling about a potential Ghostbusters 3 movie that would reunite the all star cast. Moranis reportedly turned the role down, but a 2010 article on Moviefone suggested that Moranis may come out of retirement for the sequel. Fingers crossed!