Found 54 results for "dear tvgasm"

Search Results



  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    The Olympics are over, and Fall TV shows haven't started yet, so I'm assuming the only thing you're living for is TVgasm Tuesday. Well, stop crying, and get ready to have your pants blown off by all this entertainment news:

    Miley Cyrus apparently cut her own hair while angry and blindfolded. Taylor Swift released a new song which (shocker) is about a past relationship, and is called something like "I'm gonna hate you forever because you're a douche canoe." Also, Robert Pattinson is still a sad panda. Are your pants blown off? good. Hold onto your eyeballs because here comes some  TVgasm.


    This Week:


    It's another episode of Mornin' Time! This week Fred and Quinnifer address presidential attack ads, and It. Gets. Real. Real. Quick. Go watch!


    You know those women on The Price is Right who show off the prizes and don't ever blink? Well, now you can be one, even if you're a dude! Read TVgasm to find out how (and then apply because, honestly, this is a dream job).


    Real Housewives have some real problems to deal with! Like "where do you store nine leopard print painted Mercedes?" And "how do you remove the scent of shame from silk?" Like a (not at all) friendly aunt or uncle, TVgasm has some advice for these ladies in this week's Dear TVgasm.


    Remember: If you ever need to get the scent of shame out of silk, just use seltzer water/your own tears.

    Comment

  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    It's another TVgasm Tuesday, and if you somehow don't know, the SAG awards happened. Check out the red carpet highlights here, and definitely make sure you watch the best acceptance speech of the night by (shocker) Tina Fey. I laughed. I cried. It was only a minute long, but it was an emotional roller coaster. 30 Rock airs its series finale this Thursday, so this was just a little taste of wha'ts to come. Don't be surprised if I'm an emotional wreck next Tuesday. It was formally announced that J.J. Abrams will be directing the new Star Wars movie, and the internet is PISSED. The "Jar Jar Abrams" jokes have already started, and I think it's safe to say that we're in for some pretty lewd gifs in the weeks to come. In unsurprising news, Frank Ocean wants to bring charges against Chris Brown after the "alleged" incident, officially making Chris Brown a [REDACTED] in the eyes of the public. Let's see what TVgasm has for us


    This Week:


    If you liked Tina Fey's Bossypants, get excited, because Amy Poehler has reportedly signed a book contract, herself. Now, I don't want to hyperbolize how excited I am, but I will be using this book as my new Bible when it's finally published. Click to read all the deets at TVgasm!


    Well, if writing TVgasm has taught me anything, it's that for every piece of great work that is set to be created, there is an equally terrible thing that has been greenlit. It's Newton's third law of whatever or something. So when I heard about this terrible new talk show, I can't say I was surprised just deeply deeply disappointed. 


    Have you been watching Top Chef? If you HAVE been watching, you probably know that there are a few people who could use some well-intentioned advice, or even some advice that is NOT well-intentioned. TVgasm is here to offer some (possibly not so) well-intentioned advice.


    Remember: There's no shame in weeping openly at your own television.

    Tell me what those crazy Real Housewives are up to at @Sam_The_Stone


    Comment

  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    It's TVgasm Tuesday once again, and my pledge to you is to make it through this without making a single presidential election joke. It's been a great week for music: Kid Rock released a new song, Rihanna is releasing a ridiculously expensive new album, and Briney Spears is in talks to write her very own autobiography? Oh did I saw great? I meant horribly, horribly, awful. Is Kid Rock even still a thing? I thought he magically disappeared in 2005 along with the terrible dial-up internet tone. Maybe TVgasm can help redeem this week for the world


    This Week:


    Sharon Osbourne is officially off of America's Got Talent, and the producers are trying to find someone to fill her judges chair. I'm pretty sure it'll have to be someone tiny because I have this theory that Sharon Osbourne is secretly a teeny tiny pixie that's made to look human sized with camera tricks. It's not that crazy, have you heard her voice?! Click to read the full story!


    The Jersey Shore crew will be holding a hurricane Sandy fundraiser, and TVgasm has the full story. I guess the whole thing's going to be improvisation because I don't think the Jersey Shore cast can actually read off a teleprompter.


    Life is hard on the Boardwalk, and TVgasm knows that. There are so many difficult questions like: Why don't people respond well when I set things on fire? Why Do I live on a boardwalk? Should I ask questions in threes? Read this weeks Dear TVgasm, addressed to the characters of Boardwalk Empire to get some honest answers.


    Remember: If Kid Rock made it through the 2000's, you can make it through your day

    Comment

  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    Stop everything, internet, we have some breaking news! Well, not breaking like happening right now, I guess… but it's like super important stuff. Get ready for some entertainment news that will literally* make your face explode. Did you hear The Biebs totes vommed on stage? Gross (although I won't pretend I haven't watched the video several times, no judgement). Also, Adele is releasing a new song for the newest Bond movie "Skyfall". I assume it will be mostly her screaming, but I'm excited anyways. Probably the most outrageous story is that Robert Pattinson was named world's sexiest man again, even though I KEEP on sending in my headshots. THIS CONTEST IS RIGGED. Ok let's write our complaint letters, and see what TVgasm has for us.


    *figuratively 


    This Week:


    We've all heard about TLC's "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"; how terrible it is, how it's everything wrong with society, how we're secretly envious of how confidently Alana wears those tank tops. During the new season, though, the Honey Boo Boo clan will be getting a major pay raise. Click to read TVgasm's full story. Will Mama still be coupon queen with all this extra money?! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!


    How much do you love Sesame Street? If you are human with a functioning heart, the answer is probably A WHOLE LOT. Remember that time they spoofed Glee? Well this one is like that one but better! Go watch!


    It appears someone has messed with Caroline Manzo's Fambuhly. They have messed with her Fambuhly, and they are GAHBAGE! Clearly Mama Manzo needs some help, and TVgasm is here with some support in the most recent Dear TVgasm!


    Remember: If you weren't named world's sexiest man, it's probably because you were nominated for universe's sexiest man…..right? RIGHT?!

    Comment

  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    THE EMMYS HAPPENED...in case you didn't know. Except I'm sure you did because all your friends were tweeting about how Kristin Wiig looks a little weird, and Tracy Morgan passed out on stage. I, unfortunately, had to watch the Emmys vicariously through my friends twitter accounts because I didn't have access to a TV, because MAYBE my roommate broke it, and MAYBE now it won't turn on, and MAYBE we're in a fight now. GOD, stop grilling me, internet! I got 99 problems, and they all relate to my broken TV. The point is, you can catch up on Emmy knowledge here, and here, and then there's also some fun stuff here. Let's get back on top of our TV news together with TVgasm!


    This Week:

    The Ladies of The Real Housewives of New York are still riding the struggle bus. The Countess is trying to have a baby despite her dusty lady business (I assume she's using witchcraft), and all the other ones think they're the Carrie Bradshaw of the group. Read the new Dear TVgasm to see if these ladies can ever be set straight. (Hint: most likely no)


    Do you remember Farrah Abraham from MTV's Teen Mom? If you're not familiar she is a teen who is also a mom. She's a teen mom. Anyway, she wrote a book, and TVgasm got an interview with her! I hope they just talk about where babies come from. Can someone explain that to me?


    A while ago I wrote about Bethenny Frankel's new talkshow and how "real" it was, do you guys remember? I'm going to assume you memorize every TVgasm post by heart. Apparently it is now picked up for syndication of Fox networks as of 2013. I don't know what to feel, really. I guess mostly just hurt. Why would you do this to me Fox networks? Go read TVgasm for the whole story.


    Remember: The more people pay to hear Bethenny Frankel talk, the closer we are to the apocalypse so start letting go of your earthly possessions, because it's happening any day now.

    Comment

  • TVGasm

    TVGASM Thursday

    It's another TVgasm Tuesday (Thursday) (sorry, guys-- hurricanes are crazy things), and I'm fighting through no power, or water, or will to live to bring TV news to you guys. It was dark times (PUNS!) for a while, there. No power meant I had to read books and eat kind of melty ice cream and pretend I was Emily Dickinson. However, now I have internet so I'm dealing with staying inside for days in the following ways: 1) watching Dance Moms online, 2) tweeting (about food mostly) 3) reading up on entertainment news. Let's see what TVgasm has to get us (me) through the aftermath of this hurricane.


    This Week:


    Royalty isn't any different from us mortals (except Kate Middleton who may or may not be a deity); they love celeb gossip too! Watch TVgasm's new cartoon "Gossip Queens" to hear a couple Queens dish about some crazy famous people.


    So last week I wrote about the wedding of celebrity couple "TimberBiel" (still hate the name), but is there trouble in their weirdly named celebrity paradise? Click to find out!


    When I think Disney, the first thing I think of is outer space, obviously, and the second thing I think is lightsabers. What? That's just me? Yeah that's what I figured. Click to read about Disney's new Star Wars movies!


    Remember: If you don't have power for a while, it can sometimes help to dress up in 19th century dress and pretend you are a female poet. Don't knock it 'til you try it.


    Comment

  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    Thank God it's Tuesday, right, guys?! Is "TGIT" a thing? Whatever. I'm making it a thing right now; tell everyone you know. Sure, we're only two days into the week and the weekend is over 72 hours away... but the high point of your week is here: It's TVgasm Tuesday! Exclamation points!


    This Week:


    Do you love David Hasselhoff? Probably not because he's kind of the worst, but it's pretty funny to watch him attempt a German accent in the new online Lean Pockets ad campaign. Watch him subtly imply that the other actress has nothing going for her but her looks! So chivalrous!


    Do you love Oprah? If you don't, you should because a) she's perf and b) she's the only person who actually has enough lady-balls to ask the Kardashian clan why they're famous. Go watch Oprah try to get the Kardashians to admit that they are, in fact, made mostly of plastic at this point.


    Do you like toddlers? Do you like tiaras? Do you like when people ask you several questions in a row? TVgasm can help you determine if you're cut out for the world of pageants. Specifically, are you cut out for pageants starring children and their insane parents in this week's "Dear TVgasm?"


    Remember: If you keep watching famous people on TV, you'll probably become one. (I'm assuming THAT'S what the Kardashians did to get famous.)

    Comment

  • TVGasm

    Introducing TVGasm Tuesdays

    Do you love reality TV as much as I do? Probably not, but if your obsession is anywhere close to my own, our friends at TVgasm have you covered. As the new summer lineup of reality shows premieres, TVgasm is here for you to ensure you don't miss anything... and we at My Damn Channel are going to double down on that by ensuring you don't miss anything from TVgasm!

    This week:

    They checked in with a few of your (and my) favorite celebrity chefs to talk about their summer reality series. And it gets SPICY. (Pun INTENDED.)

    If you're more of a Real Housewives kind of person (and let's face it: who isn't?) check out TVgasm's ReDub videos of the RHOC for a more accurate reading of what the housewives are actually saying. (HINT: Not very much.)

    Last-- and BEST-- TVgasm has the scoop on everyone's favorite Toddlers and Tiaras contestant Alana, better known as Honey Boo Boo Child. She has her own spinoff this summer! I won't give away the name, but it is by far my favorite part of the whole concept.

    Remember: please watch reality television safely. Remember to bathe, eat and above all, yell at the tiny people inside your TV.

    Comment

You May Also Like