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The time is upon us!  And I'm not talking about the end of the world this Friday or the possibility that the Giants might not make the playoffs this year.  No, it's the time of year when you're kinda screwed if you haven't completed your holiday shopping!

"Oh no, DannyMoney, oh no!  I haven't completed my holiday shopping yet!  My life is in disarray!  What to get Aunt Martha?  What to give little Jimmy Lou?  Oh what shall I get dear Uncle Oscar?"  Please, please - be calm!  I am here to help: simply visit the District Lines My Damn Channel merch store!  There you can get a bevy of goodies like DailyGrace t-shirts and shot glasses, as well as McMayhem and Co-op of the Damned t-shirts.

Yes, those are all great gifts!  Yes, I saved your Christmas!  Yes, you should buy me a My Damn Channel classic tee as thanks for helping you not make a fool of yourself at the family Christmas party when you would have become hammered from the spiked egg nog, since your need to self-medicate would be fueled by a deep, dark depression that arrived just as your loved ones opened your gifts, which would have been nothing but used tissues and old hamster food.  

So, go get some awesome merch!  And follow me: @DannyMoney

It's Thanksgiving, so it’s only right I share this list of the things I am thankful for this year. 

1)    Air – We all breathe it.  We need it to live.  I’ll come out and just say it: I love air!  It’s my favorite thing to breathe – I mean, other than nitrous, obviously.  Phish rules!

2)    The Written Word – I have been reading a ton lately!  It’s so much fun.  I was on the subway reading a book and the commute went by like THAT.  Dudes, check out some written words on pages.  Really fun to read things that are written.

3)    Space: The Final Frontier – I love the idea of the never ending void of Space, The Final Frontier.  Like, lol, what’s out there?  It inspires me to keep searching, both within myself and without.  Space…so gnarly, so big, so vast.  Haha, like, WHAT’S HAPPENING OUT THERE!?

4)    Peace – We need it.  All you need is love.  I am the walrus.  Goo goo ga joob.  Yesterday.  Help I need somebody.  Hey Jude.  I heard the news today oh boy I can’t get no satisfaction.  The 60s and peace – what an era!  What an inspiration.  I am thankful for peace in this world but we need more of it.  We need to BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE!

5)    Jesus – Duh.

6)    God – obvz.

7)    My mom and dad – Cool folks who raised me right.  Mom, Dad: I am thankful for thee.

8)    The Star Spangled Banner + peyote – such a sweet combo, I can’t get enough.  Really thankful for this buzz.

9)    My Hands – Let me ask you a question: Could I be writing this post without them?  The answer is no, so – BOOM! – automatic need to be thankful for them hands of mine, no?

10)  Cash.  Money, bro.  Straight up need it to live.  Money for days and twice on Sunday.  I love money.  Thank you for money.  

Well, there you go!  That’s what I am thankful for this year!  Now cute up the Spangled Banner song, son!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Follow me, YOU GOT TO! @DannyMoney

Stop everything, internet, we have some breaking news! Well, not breaking like happening right now, I guess… but it's like super important stuff. Get ready for some entertainment news that will literally* make your face explode. Did you hear The Biebs totes vommed on stage? Gross (although I won't pretend I haven't watched the video several times, no judgement). Also, Adele is releasing a new song for the newest Bond movie "Skyfall". I assume it will be mostly her screaming, but I'm excited anyways. Probably the most outrageous story is that Robert Pattinson was named world's sexiest man again, even though I KEEP on sending in my headshots. THIS CONTEST IS RIGGED. Ok let's write our complaint letters, and see what TVgasm has for us.

*figuratively 

This Week:

We've all heard about TLC's "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"; how terrible it is, how it's everything wrong with society, how we're secretly envious of how confidently Alana wears those tank tops. During the new season, though, the Honey Boo Boo clan will be getting a major pay raise. Click to read TVgasm's full story. Will Mama still be coupon queen with all this extra money?! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!

How much do you love Sesame Street? If you are human with a functioning heart, the answer is probably A WHOLE LOT. Remember that time they spoofed Glee? Well this one is like that one but better! Go watch!

It appears someone has messed with Caroline Manzo's Fambuhly. They have messed with her Fambuhly, and they are GAHBAGE! Clearly Mama Manzo needs some help, and TVgasm is here with some support in the most recent Dear TVgasm!

Remember: If you weren't named world's sexiest man, it's probably because you were nominated for universe's sexiest man…..right? RIGHT?!