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  • The Night Feed

    The Office Season Finale Review

    Oh my god, last night's episode of The Office - the series finale - was so absolutely incredible I can't even put it into words but I am going to try my best.  <<DEEP BREATH>> …Okay, here we go.


    First of all the part where Jim and Pam decide to leave Scranton in order to experience Canada was a bold choice and I loved it.  The argument they initially had was tense but also hilarious: Who knew Pam had that kind of a mouth on her?  Really funny when she let Jim have it - and sexy.


    Dwight.  Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.  DWIGHT!  He will forever be one of my favorite characters in television history, and last night absolutely cemented his reputation as being so.  Utterly.  Hilarious.  Let me ask you a question:  Who writes this show?  Just tell me who the writers are so I can give them big old bear hugs!  They nailed it!  I mean, Dwight taking that boombox and throwing it into the ocean?  With the CD still in it?  The very CD they needed to nail their final presentation to the big execs?  Well, that's dramatic irony for you!  TEARS OF LAUGHTER.  Tears!


    I could go on and one about each character: the gay one, the other guy who says one line an episode that's soooooo good always, The Hangover dude Ed Phelps, that hot red head (I love me the red heads, eh?  Eh??  Slappa da bass, eh????  Haha sorry, Rashida!  You'll find a man one day LOL)…There were moments on moments on moments of funny, moving stuff from every character.  But nothing compares to the big moment.  You know what I'm talking about…


    Michael.  Scott.  MICHAEL FREAKIN' SCOTT!  I can't believe they had him descend from the ceiling singing "Nessun Dorma" - so so so so funny I peed my pants!  They had to bring back Michael Scott, and they did.  A+ job right there, guys.  You gave the people what they wanted.  And when Michael pulled out that gun and pretended to kill himself in order to make Dwight feel better about losing the CD in the ocean and then Jim finally connected with Dwight only to discover that Michael's suicide was fake?  And then the entire office cheered and hugged until BAM! they cut to black, end of series? And then they played "Don't Stop Believin'" over the end credits??  I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats!  It was better than….ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, EVER!  


    All in all, it was a great end to a great series.  From season one, episode one, to final season, final episode, I had such a great time.  Thank you to everyone involved with The Office for making life a bit brighter.  Oh, and don't worry, Ryan: a lot of people have HPV ;)

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  • The Night Feed

    Predicting the Breaking Bad Finale

    Guys. In less than three days, Breaking Bad will be over forever and I will be a pile of goo unable to form words or complete thoughts. I'm seriously not ready for Monday through Saturday to go back to being actual days and not just filler between episodes. I mean, what am I supposed to care about now? Sleepy Hollow? We Are Men

    However, it's not over until it's over. With one last episode to go, the fates of almost every important character (RIP Hank) are still up in the air. Being that I predicted nearly every plot twist in "Ozymandias" perfectly - seriously, ask Chris - I figured I'd try my hand at a little finale divination. (Spoiler warnings all up in this thing, by the way. Don't read it if you're not current!)

    Walt: He dies, obviously. I don't know if this means anything, but I definitely had a dream last night in which Walt died when the airplane he was in crashed into a mountain. Seems unlikely, but don't count it out. Because otherwise, the possibilities are limitless.

    Skyler: Dies or lives? Seems like everyone I've talked to is pretty much split 50-50. Either she lives, goes to trial, and loses the kids to Marie, or she'll die in some unforeseen way - a Lady Macbeth death. I can't see her comitting suicide unless the kids die first. But if they do? She's already losing it, that might just be the final straw. 

    Jesse: Honestly, as invested as I've been in Jesse surviving the series over the past five and a half seasons, at this point it seems like he'd genuinely be better off dead. His life since the pilot episode has just been one long conga line of trauma, and after witnessing Andrea's death in the last episode, he's most likely going to go completely insane and find some way to get the Nazis to kill him. 

    Todd: Todd has to die. There's no way he can live. The only way this series can justfiably end is with Todd in a barrel, and preferably alive when he went in there. Though honestly, how much of a final knife in the gut would it be to have Todd and Lydia skip happily ever after into the sunset, off to make meth and be sociopaths together forever? That is, unless...

    Lydia: Gets the ricin. It's totally going into her Stevia packets - why else would Gilligan and Co. make such a big deal over her tea preferences? Chekhov's ricin, Chekhov's Stevia. Too bad, though. I'll kinda miss her crazy eyes.

    Uncle Jack: Dead, by Walt's hand. This is the only outcome we can be relatively sure of. Whether it's a shoot-out, an explosion, or some insane, unpredictable plot twist, he's gotta go. 

    Saul: Now that we know that Better Call Saul will be a prequel rather than a continuation of the series, all bets are off on his fate. But my money's on Saul becoming the best Cinnabon manager Omaha has ever known.

    Brock: I swear to God, if they kill Brock I will BURN ALBUQUERQUE TO THE GROUND. Let's just all agree that Brock goes to live with his grandma and gets really good therapy and grows up to become a lawyer who prosecutes drug dealers, okay? Okay?

    Walt Jr.: No such compassion for Junior. Or Flynn. Or whatever we're calling him now. I'm hoping he goes out in a blaze of breakfast. 

    Holly: My personal prediction is that Holly will be the sole survivor of the White family. If Marie makes it, she might end up in her custody. If not, the poor kid will probably grow up in a foster home with a couple of traumatic repressed memories. 

    Huell: Starves to death in his safe room while waiting for Hank and Gomie to come back for him. Alas, poor Huell.

    So what are your thoughts and predictions? Any disagreements? Tweet me @lizbelsky and we'll hash 'em out.

    Guys. In less than three days, Breaking Bad will be over forever and I will be a pile of goo unable to form words or complete thoughts. I'm seriously not ready for Monday through Saturday to go back to being actual days and not just filler between episodes. I mean, what am I supposed to care about now? Sleepy Hollow? We Are Men? 

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  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    IT'S CHRISTMAS, or I mean, basically. It's also TVgasm Tuesday, and since this is the last Tuesday before Christmas, I'm gonna give you enough TV news to tide you over for two whole weeks instead of just one.


    We had one and a half finales this week: How I Met Your Mother had its two-part midseason finale, which somehow managed to answer questions without actually answering them, AND after six well-dressed seasons of emotional glaring, Gossip Girl had her series finale, finishing up with $3000 lace handkerchiefs and a surprise twist.


    Also, when I think of "comedy," I totally think of Barbra Streisand yelling at Seth Rogen for several hours in a car, so when I heard about their new movie I thought "Oh of course, somebody finally made this, just in time for the world to end!" Let's face our imminent doom with TVgasm!

    This Week:


    Probably the best thing about the Internet is the comments section. The comments section of ANYTHING. There's always one person posting a chain letter (what is this AIM in 2004?!), and, of course, there's the always-immortal-and-ever-articulate "Wow. just wow." TVgasm's comments are just as lively: Click to read the best of 2012!


    Did you stop by the TVgasm holiday party? You didn't?! It was THE social event of the season! There was boxed wine! There were miscellaneous housewives! There was even a wild Lohan sighting! Click here to get the scoop on this totally awesome party that totally happened and was real.


    At a certain time, one just gets tired of denim shirts and puns, am I right? Obviously, I'm referring to Jay Leno, because I just can't bring myself to watch his show anymore. Maybe 2014 will bring a good host to the Jay Leno time slot? Click to find out who may be replacing Leno in a few years (that is, if we don't all die in 3 days, thanks Mayans).

     

    Remember: If you're commenting on something online, let's try at least to keep it interesting. Can we put a moratorium on the "Wow. just wow" forever?


    Do you like tweets about cake? Follow me at @Sam_the_Stone

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  • Celebrity Autobiography

    If You're Going To Miss Kristen Wiig...

    Did you all watch the SNL season finale? Did you cry as hard as I did when they said farewell to Kristen Wiig, who ends her run at Saturday Night Live after seven years?

    Just a reminder that thanks to the power of the internet we'll be able to relive certain Kristen Wiig performances over and over. And when we've watched all of her videos, we can watch our Bridesmaids DVDs and drink some wine and yell at the TV things like "THIS MOVIE IS, LIKE, MY LIFE! Oh. Except for that pooping in the street part. BUT THE REST OF IT IS SO TRUE."

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  • The Night Feed

    What Will I Do Without 30 Rock?!

    Hey Dummies! As you may or may not know (but definitely SHOULD know), 30 Rock's series finale airs tonight on NBC. That's SERIES FINALE, not SEASON FINALE. That's right, nerds, 30 Rock is ending forever and instead of mourning the loss, let's celebrate its seven sassy, sarcastic seasons with a couple things that 30 Rock has taught me:


    1. Don't f**k with Mickey Rourke. Don't do it.


    2. Know your own worth!


    3. Don't fly in planes, because you will either almost die, or mistake a teenager for Oprah.


    4. Don't listen to your critics, just keep making things!


    5. A name is an automatic first impression, so don't screw over your unborn child for its entire life.


    I think Liz Lemon said it best when she said: "I pretty much do what Oprah tells me to do."


    Thanks for seven years of making me Liz my pants, 30 Rock.


    Blerg.


    You want to go to there to tweet me @Sam_The_Stone



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