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How do you guys feel about Five Guys Burgers and Fries?

Well, how do you guys feel about how Daym Drops feels about Five Guys Burgers and Fries?

And how do you guys feel about the fact that The Gregory Brothers songified (songify-ed?) the way Daym Drops feels about Five Guys Burgers and Fries?

ME, TOO, GUYS.

The Gregory Brothers are so great at songify-ing things. I'm gonna start making silly videos so that they can songify me and then I will be rich and famous and everyone will know my name!

PS: Get your own ideas for fame and fortune, internet, because this one's mine!

Jordan Carlos is our guest today on My Damn Channel LIVE! You probably remember him as one of Dan St. Germain's roommates in Kicking Dan Out.

What's that? You DO remember him? AND you know him from that MTV show "Guy Code" and that other MTV show "I Just Want My Pants Back?"

Well, here's a gold star for you, my friend. You are all up in Jordan Carlos's business, aren't you? You think you're soooooo special because you knew all of that. Well I have a fancy new tool called "Google" and now I know as much about it as you do. So there.

We'll just have to call a truce today during My Damn Channel LIVE when Jordan Carlos is Beth's guest. Unless we both tweet questions to him with the hashtag #MyDamnChannelLIVE and he answers only ONE of us during the show, because then a clear winner in this matter will emerge.

Duh.

Donald Trump came out with a video today calling Barack Obama the least transparent President in our nation's history. He announced that if Obama releases the records for his college admission and passport application that he would donate $5 million to the charity of the president's choosing. It's a tempting offer, but I think I have an even better one:

Dear Donald Trump, the American people have been wondering for decades what your hair is composed of. It is arguably the least transparent hairstyle ever perpetrated by a human being. Does that wiry coif stay up with hairspray? String? Pneumatic pumps? WELL, IS IT PNEUMATIC PUMPS?! THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DEMAND TO KNOW!

Mr. Trump, I would like to take this opportunity to make you an offer. I'm simply asking that you show Americans what your hair looks like wet. It's Pretty simple, just take a video or picture of yourself. It can be right after you get out of the shower (before your hourlong drying ritual), after you've ridden a waterslide, hell, you can even just use a spray bottle and get it a little bit moist. The American public is yearning to know what your hair looks like in its natural state.

If you do this, I will immediately write a check for $100 to the charity Locks of Love which is a great charity that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children suffering from hair loss due to medical conditions. Unlike, you, Mr. Trump, I don't have a flowing mane of beautiful hair I can donate, so a financial contribution will have to suffice.

The ball is in your court, Trump!

Sincerely,
@petersoncinema

In honor of National High Five Day, we high-fived.

The trailer for This Is 40, which follows up on the characters Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd played in Knocked Up, is now, uh, UP.

Just thought you should know.

It's another TVgasm Tuesday! Did you know Zach Braff is back and at it again? What a rascal! He started (and then like four days and 2 million dollars later successfully ended) a Kickstarter campaign for his new movie "Wish I Was Here". The film is a follow up to "Garden State", and by that I mean I will fall asleep watching it. In much more exciting news the Mad Men writers are working on a new show centered around NASA in the 60's, and, if they follow the hundreds of suggestions I've sent in, centered around Joan Harris and Adam West as Batman.

It's being reported that NBC has ordered what has been described (by me right now) as possibly the most terrifying gameshow concept ever called Million Second Quiz. I'll let you read the details yourself, but as I understand it, the show's premise is imprisoning people in a giant hourglass for 24 hours straight which is…..somehow legal. I've also heard that Fox has secured the rights to do a remake of "Guys and Dolls" so, aging gay men and my mom, rejoice! Let's see what TVgasm has

This Week:

Good news, no one! Martha Stewart is now on Match.com, so if doilies and veiled passive aggression is your thing, gird your loins because Martha Stewart is coming for you with a vengeance. 

Do you remember Tara Reid? She had a deep smoky voice that some have described as "grossers" and "yucky", and she was in Van Wilder and American Pie 1-19 and probably some other stuff, but I refuse to wikipedia it on principle. Anyways, she recently played the "do you know who I am" card, and it didn't turn out so well. Click for the full story!

Teen Mom Farrah has released a certain illicit tape. An illicit tape that is adult and illicit. (IT'S A NAKED TAPE. SHE RELEASED A NAKED TAPE). Click to get the all the illicit details. 

Remember: If NBC tries to kidnap you during the night to be on the new gameshow, don't try to be a hero

Tweet me lines from Martha Stewarts Match.com bio @Sam_the_stone