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The 2012 NFL season begins today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes, my excitement is worth 18 exclamation points) My co-workers Dean and Chris are un-American and don't care about football so it's up to me, a red-blooded American alpha male to share some reasons why everyone should be excited about the 2012 NFL season.

 1)    Beer and Wings - On Sundays during the football season it’s socially acceptable to eat as many wings and drink as much beer as you want. People don't merely look the other way like they do when you eat wings in church on Sunday; they actually EXPECT this indulgence. Hell, even my mom has absolutely no problem with me polluting my body with fat and alcohol (by which I mean she has no tolerance for me polluting my body with fat and alcohol).

 2)    Fantasy Football – Not only do you get a chance to root for your favorite pro team every week, you also get to act as the head coach of your very own fantasy team: playing against your friends, spewing insults like “You suck!” or “I am better than you!” at them across crowded bars.  Remember, it’s all about the pageantry, folks.

3)    You’ll get to watch funny Daily Grace videos about football, like this one from last season, where she shows how much she knows about the sport: Nothing.  Grace knows nothing about football. Nothing.

4)    Because you never know if something ridiculous like this will happen.  Or a disgusting act, such as this.  Or this. 

5) Most importantly, tonight the defending Super Bowl Champions-- my beloved New York Giants-– face off against their division rivals, the Dallas Cowboys. So even if you’re not interested in the game itself, it might warm you to know that somewhere in New York, hunkered down with beer and wings (remember: this is socially accepted behavior during football season) I’m screaming my lungs out, cheering for my team like a crazy person.  You gotta respect the passion, no!?

Or not...

(Image via http://publicdomainclip-art.blogspot.com/)

Follow me on Twitter and tell me about your Fantasy Team: @DannyMoney

There are few things that men seem to enjoy more than coming together during the football season to compile fake rosters of real athletes whom they will never know or meet and pretend that they are head coaches of fake teams made up of said players that they will compulsively monitor on computers and smart phones while competing against one another for the right to call themselves King of a pretend world that's based on the real-life doings of millionaires. 

It's what being a football fan is all about for half a year: playing pretend NFL.

And you know who's awesome at playing pretend NFL?  Me.  4-1 in my league right now-- first place in my division, cheech.  But you know who's really good at playing pretend pretend NFL?  The cast of The League, which has its season premiere tonight at 10:30 on FX.  

Now in it's fourth season, The League has been consistently funny since it kicked-off its first season in 2009.  But no one's surprised that it's a hilarious show since the cast includes Mark Duplass, Nick Kroll, Jon Lajoie, Paul Scheer, Katie Aselton and My Damn Channel's own bad daddy, Steve Rannazzisi.

Steve has been lighting it up in our original web series Daddy Knows Best, playing an absent-minded father who, among other things, gets tased, eats weed brownies, and takes his young son to a strip club.  Steve infuses Daddy Knows Best with the same zany, improvisational humor that has made The League such a hit.   So sit back and watch the ENTIRE SEASON OF DADDY KNOWS BEST before enjoying The League's premiere tonight.

@DannyMoney

It was a three-day weekend. You might have missed some stuff. Here it is:

1. Inauguration Day! Barack Obama was sworn in for his second term as President of the United States of America. The best part was probably when Kelly Clarkson turned "My Country 'Tis of Thee" into a song that 14-year-olds will now want to use for their American Idol auditions, and Beyonce tried to make sure she didn't get left in Kelly Clarkson's dust by doing a superfluous vocal run during the National Anthem. Oh, I was the only one who considers all that a highlight? My bad.

2. Harbowl! Football happened this weekend. The penultimate games before the Super Bowl, when The San Francisco 49ers, coached by Jim Harbaugh, will play the Baltimore Ravens, coached by John Harbaugh. YES. BROTHERS. Blah blah blah, Jacob, Esau, sibling rivalry, daddy loves me more, blah. This is all just fodder while we wait with bated breath for the Beyoncé halftime show, which will be sponsored by Pepsi and feature "the world's FIRST crowdsourced halftime intro." Whatever that means. Congrats on using digital jargon that none of Beyoncé's fans care about, Pepsi. You could learn a lot from GQ...

3. GQ Magazine recently named Beyoncé the hottest woman of the 21st Century. That's saying a lot, since we're only 13 years into the century, but I guess we can give them a pass since it's hard to sell magazines in this day and age. That must also be why they released this video of their Beyoncé cover shoot, so that the good young people of the Internets can GIF her to their hearts' content. Because this is how we live now.

Tell me this story is stupid and you love Beyoncé as much as you love Daily Grace: @mariaalana.

(Image via Reuters)

Welcome, once again, to TVgasm Tuesday! I have some very good news and some very, very bad news for you guys. First, the good news (actually two pieces of good news): Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are for sure hosting the Golden Globes this year, so I can die happy AND Beyonce is for sure performing at the Super Bowl halftime show, which is probably the thing that will kill me. I don't really know how to break the bad news to you guys. You know when you see someone on the street, and you're like "Oh God I would hate to ever see that person having sex", and….well I guess what I'm trying to say is Hulk Hogan released a sex tape, which I can now add to the list of things I hate more than global warming and racists. Ok, try to stop barfing, and let's see what TVgasm has for us

This Week:

If there's one thing we don't need on this earth it is more celebrity offspring. At some point they have to just run out of random nouns to name their children right? Space-heater? Scissors? Are we going to keep pretend these are appropriate names, America? Click to find out which celeb is thinking about children.

Who doesn't scream "SHUT UP" at their TV while watching Bravo shows? I know I do, and so does TVgasm. Read this weeks Watch What Happens Recap because who knows Maybe Jill Zarin will finally figure out what it is she's trying to say with all that talking.

Have you heard about Lindsay Lohan's new movie "Liz & Dick"? She's scheduled to be interviewed by Barbara Walters to promote the movie, and TVgasm has the full story. I assume by "interview" it means Babs and Linds will share a few bong rips and reminisce about the 90's (the Walters-Lohan golden years)

Remember: Don't, under any circumstances, watch Hulk Hogan's sex tape. This isn't even a joke, I'm just trying to save you, Internet.