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  • The Night Feed

    Historical Fans

    So Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank museum and wrote “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber,” in the museum's guest book.


    This faux pas got me thinking: What current celebrities would past historical figures be fans of?  Luckily, I am a seer and was able to bend time and ascertain who these five historical figures would have dug.


    Abraham Lincoln - This is a no brainer.  Lincoln obviously would've been a big fan of Louis CK, especially after watching that awesome Louie/Lincoln parody Louis did for SNL.


    Julius Caesar - This Roman emperor would totally dig on Kanye West.  Between the two of them, they're the cockiest mofos to ever walk on planet Earth.   Julius would definitely connect with Kanye's braggadocio and swagger.  Et tu, Taylor Swift?  Et tu??


    Gandhi - Bruce Willis.  Yeah yeah, Gandhi was a famous pacifist, but he was a big fan of action movies - it is fiction, isn't it?  Combine that with a little bald man solidarity, and I guarantee that Gandhi definitely would have loved A Good Day To Die Hard, even if nobody else did.


    Albert Einstein - Kim Kardashian - just kidding.  No one likes Kim Kardashian.


    William Shakespeare - Tyler, the Creator, who is basically a modern day Shakespeare, crafting verse after verse of pure gold!    


    And there you have it!  A completely useless list of stuff that isn't true!  Gosh, I love the internet.


     

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  • TVGasm

    TVGASM TUESDAY

    It's another TVgasm Tuesday, and if you somehow don't know, the SAG awards happened. Check out the red carpet highlights here, and definitely make sure you watch the best acceptance speech of the night by (shocker) Tina Fey. I laughed. I cried. It was only a minute long, but it was an emotional roller coaster. 30 Rock airs its series finale this Thursday, so this was just a little taste of wha'ts to come. Don't be surprised if I'm an emotional wreck next Tuesday. It was formally announced that J.J. Abrams will be directing the new Star Wars movie, and the internet is PISSED. The "Jar Jar Abrams" jokes have already started, and I think it's safe to say that we're in for some pretty lewd gifs in the weeks to come. In unsurprising news, Frank Ocean wants to bring charges against Chris Brown after the "alleged" incident, officially making Chris Brown a [REDACTED] in the eyes of the public. Let's see what TVgasm has for us


    This Week:


    If you liked Tina Fey's Bossypants, get excited, because Amy Poehler has reportedly signed a book contract, herself. Now, I don't want to hyperbolize how excited I am, but I will be using this book as my new Bible when it's finally published. Click to read all the deets at TVgasm!


    Well, if writing TVgasm has taught me anything, it's that for every piece of great work that is set to be created, there is an equally terrible thing that has been greenlit. It's Newton's third law of whatever or something. So when I heard about this terrible new talk show, I can't say I was surprised just deeply deeply disappointed. 


    Have you been watching Top Chef? If you HAVE been watching, you probably know that there are a few people who could use some well-intentioned advice, or even some advice that is NOT well-intentioned. TVgasm is here to offer some (possibly not so) well-intentioned advice.


    Remember: There's no shame in weeping openly at your own television.

    Tell me what those crazy Real Housewives are up to at @Sam_The_Stone


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