One Direction is going to be on Saturday Night Live this week and I am really excited about it.
Look, I know what you’re thinking. “First of all, no thank you,” you’re thinking. “One Direction is just prefab pop music for teenage girls.” And, well, you’re not wrong. One Direction is totally prefab pop music for teenage girls, but you know who else started out as prefab teen pop? THE BEATLES. Yeah, I said it. One Direction is basically the Beatles.
Okay, fine, that’s a stretch… but honestly? It’s not really about the music. I mean, that’s not entirely true, “Little Black Dress” from the new album has been stuck in my head for a week straight… But it’s really not about the music. Have you even seen This Is Us, the 3D 1D documentary directed by Morgan Spurlock? It is literally the Citizen Kane of 3D movies about boy bands. It features an amazing scene where Niall, the boyish blond one, disguises himself as an old Scottish bodyguard and insults a bunch of fans. There’s also a scene where Liam and Harry go fishing and talk about their pre-fame pasts. “I wanted to be a fireman… or a factory worker.” “Why a fireman?” “So I could save people.” “Oh… then why would you want to be a factory worker?”
Do you still not understand? Um, go look at these pictures of Zayn for a while. Still confused? Are you actually blind? Probably. Go get eye surgery, loser.
They’re just lads. Lads having a laugh. Lads having a laugh and wearing skinny jeans and getting ill-conceived tattoos and dancing like your dad at a backyard barbecue.
One million tweens (and Taylor Swift) can’t be wrong. That’s all I’m saying.