So. Hung. Over.
Haha, OMG, last night was one of the best, craziest nights of my life! I didn't just win one Golden Globe, I won two! How amazing is that?
So the night started pretty much like you'd expect. A little blow in the limo just to get the feeling right; I only do that kind of thing before big awards shows nowadays, unless of course I'm hanging out with Damon. They don't call him "China White" for nothing.
The red carpet is always the same. I hate it. I know I'm an actor and I should be used to the attention but I don't, I just don't. Too many eyes on me. I get uncomfortable. I sweat. I have dark thoughts. Thank god I have Jenny with me. I don't think I could have bared the prying eyes any longer if not for my beautiful angel protecting me on that red carpet. I love you, baby.
But once I'm inside the hotel, I come alive! All my friends are there, the Mike's Hard Lemonade is flowing, and I'm feeling groovy! Not worried about winning or losing at this point, just looking to have a good time and catch up with friends I haven't seen in a long time. I mean, how often do I get to make fun of Anne Hathaway with Jennifer Lawrence? Hathaway's mouth is freakin' huge, LOL!
And then the ceremony starts and Tina and Amy totally are killing it and next thing you know Jodie's speech is totally confusing me and I'm hoisting a best director statue! So thrilling. Like, of course I said that winning doesn't mean as much as being mentioned in the same breath as the other directors nominated but we all know that's a load of bullshit. You play to win the game, simple as that. Maybe DeNiro will start taking my calls now that I've finally won a globe.
More Mike's Hard and kisses with Jenny and then Argo wins best picture. The best. Night. Ever. Standing onstage with all of those talented people looking at all of the drunk A-listers applauding me is like standing atop Mount Olympus as Zeus bathes you in the golden tear drops of Helen of Troy. Boner city, LOL.
After that we went to the after party and I don't even think I can even write down an account of the debauchery that transpired. Let me just say Clooney doesn't always get naked, but when he does, you KNOW it's a good night. And then let me say John Goodman doesn't always get naked, but when he does you know we're heading to White Castle sooner than later. I know, so Hollywood, right? ;)
Okay I need to take some Advil and get in the hot tob with my Golden Globes. It's been so amazing. I love the me that I am. I love Jenny. I love movies!!!! Haha, ok, ok, bye for now diary.
PS - Arkin's head isn't the only thing that's bald :-p