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Do you love reality TV as much as I do? Probably not, but if your obsession is anywhere close to my own, our friends at TVgasm have you covered. As the new summer lineup of reality shows premieres, TVgasm is here for you to ensure you don't miss anything... and we at My Damn Channel are going to double down on that by ensuring you don't miss anything from TVgasm!

This week:

They checked in with a few of your (and my) favorite celebrity chefs to talk about their summer reality series. And it gets SPICY. (Pun INTENDED.)

If you're more of a Real Housewives kind of person (and let's face it: who isn't?) check out TVgasm's ReDub videos of the RHOC for a more accurate reading of what the housewives are actually saying. (HINT: Not very much.)

Last-- and BEST-- TVgasm has the scoop on everyone's favorite Toddlers and Tiaras contestant Alana, better known as Honey Boo Boo Child. She has her own spinoff this summer! I won't give away the name, but it is by far my favorite part of the whole concept.

Remember: please watch reality television safely. Remember to bathe, eat and above all, yell at the tiny people inside your TV.

Jordan Carlos is our guest today on My Damn Channel LIVE! You probably remember him as one of Dan St. Germain's roommates in Kicking Dan Out.

What's that? You DO remember him? AND you know him from that MTV show "Guy Code" and that other MTV show "I Just Want My Pants Back?"

Well, here's a gold star for you, my friend. You are all up in Jordan Carlos's business, aren't you? You think you're soooooo special because you knew all of that. Well I have a fancy new tool called "Google" and now I know as much about it as you do. So there.

We'll just have to call a truce today during My Damn Channel LIVE when Jordan Carlos is Beth's guest. Unless we both tweet questions to him with the hashtag #MyDamnChannelLIVE and he answers only ONE of us during the show, because then a clear winner in this matter will emerge.

Duh.

It's TVgasm Tuesday! It's (almost) Thanksgiving, guys! While this means pie eating, wine drinking, and joke making, it also means that you're probably going to have to talk to some aunts/uncles/grandparents who you haven't spoken to in a while. What better way to break the ice than with some entertainment gossip about celebrities your grandparents have never heard of! You could talk about how the AMA's happened, or if that doesn't work you can't go wrong with a classic: Lindsey Lohan news. There aren't people on this earth who don't want to hear about Lindsey Lohan stealing a piece of art from a museum or something. Let's see what else TVgasm has for us

This Week:

Remember that guy you knew, who you kind of hated, who called people "bro-migo" and had frosted tips and yelled everything he said? Well that guy grew up to be Guy Fieri, and he needs some advice on how to deal with the haters, and TVgasm won't let him down. Go read this weeks Dear TVgasm!

When I think of Anderson Cooper, I think of a silver fox who isn't afraid to ask the tough questions (ok maybe I have a little crush on Anderson Cooper, shut up), so who better to fill in for him on his talkshow that a reality star and a comedian. Read TVgasm's full story to see who's taking over for Anderson while he goes to Gaza.

Let's admit it, we've all been waiting for a new, AWESOME, set of Real Housewives (because Miami didn't count, obviously). FINALLY, the day has arrived. Click to find out who the newest and BEST housewives are!

Remember: Frosted tips are more trouble than they're worth. Always. 

Walter Matthau was the man.

He was half of The Odd Couple. He was curmudgeonly before you even knew how to spell "curmudgeon." He was Dennis The Menace's neighbor and basically your all-around-reliable-grandpa type.

Admit it: you kind of wished your Grandpa was Walter Matthau. That's why you watched all of those Grumpy Old Men movies over and over again, isn't it?

And thanks to Modern Primate, you don't have to BE a grandpa to dress like one. Be comfortable as a classic curmudgeon: Get. That. Look.

The trailer for This Is 40, which follows up on the characters Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd played in Knocked Up, is now, uh, UP.

Just thought you should know.

It's another TVgasm Tuesday! Did you know Zach Braff is back and at it again? What a rascal! He started (and then like four days and 2 million dollars later successfully ended) a Kickstarter campaign for his new movie "Wish I Was Here". The film is a follow up to "Garden State", and by that I mean I will fall asleep watching it. In much more exciting news the Mad Men writers are working on a new show centered around NASA in the 60's, and, if they follow the hundreds of suggestions I've sent in, centered around Joan Harris and Adam West as Batman.

It's being reported that NBC has ordered what has been described (by me right now) as possibly the most terrifying gameshow concept ever called Million Second Quiz. I'll let you read the details yourself, but as I understand it, the show's premise is imprisoning people in a giant hourglass for 24 hours straight which is…..somehow legal. I've also heard that Fox has secured the rights to do a remake of "Guys and Dolls" so, aging gay men and my mom, rejoice! Let's see what TVgasm has

This Week:

Good news, no one! Martha Stewart is now on Match.com, so if doilies and veiled passive aggression is your thing, gird your loins because Martha Stewart is coming for you with a vengeance. 

Do you remember Tara Reid? She had a deep smoky voice that some have described as "grossers" and "yucky", and she was in Van Wilder and American Pie 1-19 and probably some other stuff, but I refuse to wikipedia it on principle. Anyways, she recently played the "do you know who I am" card, and it didn't turn out so well. Click for the full story!

Teen Mom Farrah has released a certain illicit tape. An illicit tape that is adult and illicit. (IT'S A NAKED TAPE. SHE RELEASED A NAKED TAPE). Click to get the all the illicit details. 

Remember: If NBC tries to kidnap you during the night to be on the new gameshow, don't try to be a hero

Tweet me lines from Martha Stewarts Match.com bio @Sam_the_stone