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In the latest episode of our punk/prank/human graffiti show McMayhem, star Matt McManus runs around West Hollywood giving "kisses" to gay guys. (Hey, it's the title of the episode! -- Gwyneth Paltrow)

In case you're unfamililar with the legend that is Bruce Vilanch, let's remind you:

He is one of Whoopi Goldberg's BFFs.
He was not only the head writer on Hollywood Squares, he was often CENTER SQUARE.
He has written jokes for Bette Midler, Robin Williams and The Academy Awards, The Emmys and The Tonys.
He did not think James Franco did a good job when he hosted The Oscars.
James Franco did not like that Bruce Vilanch did not think he did a good job.

Good cameo, McMayhem!

I lost my Oscar.

I don't know where it is! I'm so embarrassed I don't know what to say.  I mean, here I am winning an Oscar for Best Picture of the year, and then the next thing I know Clooney's giving me my eighth shot of anisette and my mother's calling Jenny because Vi shit the bed again or something and bingo-bango my Oscar is missing and the Los Angeles police doesn't seem to give a damn.  

When I realized it was gone last night I cried a little bit, though I don't really remember it.  I do remember that f***ing little princess Anne Hathaway yelling in my face about how she was picked most likely to succeed in high school and how it is totally coming true, and also how Devito was cracking me up talking about his penis but I can't - remember - where - my - Oscar - is.  This sucks.  I earned that Oscar!  It's mine!

Oh well, maybe the Academy will get me another one.  I still have the one I won for writing with Matt, but this one is cooler - I mean, would you rather win an Oscar with Matt Damon or George Clooney?   Kind of a no brainer, though Matt's cool, don't get me wrong, but he only has a single Oscar and I have two - well, I've won two but like I said, I lost the one last night.  

That doesn't change the fact that I didn't win it, though!  And that's enough.  Jenny says that's enough.  And I think it is, I just wouldn't mind having the Oscar, the actual thing, but whatever.  I had a fun night.  Maybe it'll turn up.  Regardless, I am truly blessed.  I have to call and thank everyone for making last night so special and maybe throw a brick through Anne Hathaway's window because she sucks.

Bye bye, diary!

Sincerely, with love,

Two-time Academy Award Winner,

Benjamin Affleck

It's TVgasm Tuesday once again, and folks, you had better prepare yourself for some shocking news because this week was an emotional roller coaster. Beyoncé performed the SHIT out of the National Anthem (not shocking), but then it was revealed that she lip-synced (VERY SHOCKING). Regardless, I still love her, because who couldn't love this.

In VERY shocking news, someone must have finally created a time machine, since it is clearly the 90's again if New Kids on the Block, Boyz II Men, and 98 Degrees are all going on tour with each other. I'm personally excited for the return of universally unflattering pleated pants, the Clinton administration and everything else wonderful about the 90's. James Franco has signed on to do yet another project-- not shocking-- and it's about something I've never heard of-- again, not shocking-- but what IS shocking is that this confirms that Franco has somehow found a way to live without eating or sleeping. I'm not trying to imply anything, but let's just say he's either a demon, an alien, or some kind of time-traveling peacekeeper. Let's see what TVgasm has to surprise us with, shall we?

This Week:

Did you guys know Betty White is 90 years old? I kind of just assumed that after the age of 55, celebrities revert back to their original state of skin cream and applause. Not Betty. She has a show on Fox and at the age of 90 she is still hotter than I am, somehow. In fact, she's almost 91 and Fox is throwing her a televised birthday special, so if you like jokes about old people and feeling vaguely concerned that someone's going to fall and break a hip... this is perfect for you!

By now you've probably heard about Lance Armstrong's doping scandal, but did you get a chance to see his interview with Oprah? Not to worry, TVgasm has your back. Click here to see the highlights from Oprah's interrogation. 

I don't know if everyone's heard but… Justin Bieber's butt is on the Internet. I repeat the Biebs showed his ass, someone took a picture and now it's on the Internet. Now, I'm not going to stoop so low as to link you to the picture, but... well, yes, that's EXACTLY what I'm going to do. Click to see Justin Bieber's butt as well as some other (less naked but equally scandalous) news on TVgasm's Facebook Leftovers!

Remember: If it really is the 90's again, let's just be cool about the whole Lewinsky thing this time around ok?

The name's Bond.  James Bond.  And Bond is back, baby.  Skyfall, the twenty-third Bond film, comes out today and I'm excited.  Now, after 2008's abysmal Quantum of Solace, no one should be looking forward to another Bond flick.  Quantum of Solace was that bad.  It was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in a movie theater, period.  Just horrible.  But I have high expectation for Skyfall.  Why?  Hey!  Let me tell you five reasons why!

1) Roger Deakins.  Who, you ask?  Why, only one of the finest cinematographers working today.  He has filmed such visual masterpieces as The Shawshank Redemption, No Country For Old Men and, yes, The Big Lebowski.  With Deakins on board you know the film is no joke and, if nothing else, will be visually stunning.

2) Sam Mendes is directing.  Okay, he's not my favorite director out there.  I think American Beauty is one of the most overrated movies to have come out in the last 20 years.  That said, he's not too shabby.  Here's a guy that's directed some good movies - especially the wonderful Road To Perdition.  Mendes has cred.

3) Javier Bardem is playing the villain.  Dude's one of the best actors out there - and he won an Oscar for playing a creepy-ass villain in No Country For Old Men.  I'm pretty sure we're going to get an epic Bond villain performance from him.

4) Thomas Newman wrote the score.  You can't say enough about this guy.  He's up there with the greats.  The Shawshank Redemption.  American Beauty.  Wall-E.  He's a master.

5) Daniel Craig.  He's a good Bond.  Even in Solace (which, to reiterate, sucked major balls) Craig gave a good performance as Bond.  He made the movie watchable, which is no small feat.  And given that he was THE SHIT in Casino Royale, I'm confident he'll be excellent in Skyfall.

So there you have it.  My two cents.  I'll be seeing the flick this weekend - tweet me and tell me what YOU think: @DannyMoney

When you speak of legends in the music industry, you might mention The Beatles, The Rolling Stones or Rick James-- but the name I think of is Don Was.  For over 30 years Don has been making a large impact on the music scene. From his band Was (Not Was) scoring hits in the '80s, to producing every Rolling Stones record since 1994, to pretty much everything in between, Don Was has helped shape and define today's musical landscape.

And each year since 2008, Don has participated in the Concert of Colors, helming The Detroit All-Star Revue, a concert that celebrates the long and storied Detroit music scene.  My Damn Channel has had the honor of posting videos from these concerts since 2008, and 2012's first batch of videos has just gone up.

So sit back and enjoy!  These videos always kick major butt; Detroit can't do it any other way.

1. Congressman Todd Akin (R, MO) tried to bolster his anti-abortion stance-- even for rape victims-- by claiming "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." The internet's collective mind exploded. Even worse, Congressman Akin serves on the House Science and Technology Committee, which goes to show they'll let just about anybody on that thing.

2. The Expendables 2 was number one at movie theaters this weekend, knocking The Bourne Legacy from the top of the movie mountain. Which just goes to show that Hollywood studios CAN make movies starring senior citizens and make money!

3. Fifty Shades Of Grey (aka The Book I Thought Was So Bad I Have Officially Lost Faith In Humanity) was finally knocked from its perch atop Amazon's Best Seller list by The Legend Of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, an encyclopedic companion to the video game. Surely there's some allegory here about geeks overpowering horny housewives that E.L. James can turn into her next best-selling piece of awfulness.

4. Director Tony Scott committed suicide by jumping off a bridge in San Pedro, California. Tony Scott's resume included director of films such as Beverly Hills Cop II, Top Gun and True Romance. With his older brother, Ridley Scott, he executive produced The Good Wife.

5. Taylor Swift is dating a Kennedy. Can't wait until they break up and all of all of her songs take on a broken-hearted New England lilt.

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