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I have a feeling this is not what the church had in mind.  Kanye West has taken over one of the holiest of holidays with another mixtape from his "G.O.O.D. FRIDAYS" series.  Released this morning online, it features Kanye, Pusha-T, Big Sean and 2 Chains (those are all people!).  It's called "Mercy" and if you can take some NSFW rapper talk, it'll get your Good Friday bumpin'.

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In honor of Fourth of July, America's Independence Day, I'm honoring American Things We (I) Love:

This is a great song about America, mostly because it contains the line "smoke on your pipe and put that in!" And I didn't know for years what it meant but I felt for sure it had something to do with marijuana pipes and I couldn't believe that high schools all around the country were just letting kids sing that song with terrible, fake Puerto Rican accents as if it was no big deal. Also, marijuana!

Up next in our celebration of American Things We (I) Love: American Flag Clothing...

It's another TVgasm Tuesday, and just in time, too! I mean for one thing, The Golden Globes happened, and Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were perf as expected. Bill Clinton showed up, so you know it was an awesome party. Justin Timberlake released a new song (from his album which will be dropping later this year) called Suit and Tie, and no one really knows how to feel about it. Finally, and this one may be the biggest deal of all, NBC leaked the first half episode of the new season of SMASH, you can watch it here, and then tell me what you think. Personally, I'm a big fan of Jennifer Hudson singing loudly AND Jeremy Jordan's arms, so overall I was pretty happy with it. Let's see if anything TVgasm has can top Jeremy Jordan's heart-melting arms...

This Week:

Did you see that kind of awkward moment at the Golden Globes where someone made fun of Taylor Swift, and she kind of looked like she was going to cry? What's that? Oh, just that she ALWAYS looks like she's going to cry? Maybe some advice from TVgasm could help her out.

The original pop-star trainwreck mess, Britney Spears, has some sad news to share, and unfortunately it is not that she's following in the steps of her diva nemesis LiLo by starring in a Lifetime movie. Click to find out what happened.

I'm sure you've heard a lot about the new Kardashian baby, but has anyone actually taken the time to interview the fetus to see what his (her?) opinion is on all of the controversy? TVgasm took the initiative, and found a way to get this baby to write a blog post. Check it out!

Remember: If Justin Timberlake forces you to listen to his new single in front of him, just smile and nod and tell him it sounds like he finally "found his voice" or something nonsensical like that. Singers love that.

Tweet me all your unruly opinions! @Sam_the_stone

It's TVgasm Tuesday and as a source of valuable news and information I think I should get right to this: Al Roker pooped his pants. Well, he "sharted" if we're being completely real, but you can watch the interview for yourself. Oh, and have you listened to the soundtrack from the HBO show, Girls? Check it out here! It's so great! (Please don't kill me, Lena Dunham-- I'll do whatever you want). The Carey-Minaj feud is a thing again and I can say firmly that if either of those women even threatened me I would melt into a puddle of fear/tears/apologies. And that leads us to the theme of this week's TVgasm Tuesday: Women of Whom I Am Irrationally Terrified! Let's see what scary women TVgasm has for us, shall we?

This Week:

NeNe Leakes has done it again. Somehow, she made me care-- just a little bit!-- about something she's doing. Click to find out what she's done this week. PS: NeNe, if you're reading this, please don't hunt me down like an animal, I'm just trying to live my life as a mild mannered, mildly rude, entertainment news blogger.

Kim Kardashian is preggers, and if that woman didn't terrify me before, adding hormones and pregnancy cravings to her has definitely done it. Read this weeks Dear TVgasm and try to avoid the wrath of Kim K and her unborn child at all costs!

I'm just kind of assuming that everyone who runs E! is a lady, which is maybe probably sexist, but who else would give Ryan Lochte his own show?! Who am I kidding, I will probably watch this show while eating ice cream. I don't care. I'm not scared. Go read the full story at TVgasm!

Remember: If you accidentally poop your pants, hands down, the best thing you can do about it is tell everyone on national television.