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Today we learned that Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, wife of the future King of England, and total fox, is pregnant with Prince William's Royal Baby.  

Now, it's a well-known fact that I'm pretty into the entire Royal Family. It started when I lived in London for three months back in college, and after that, I read some books about various members of the royal family, like The Diana Chronicles by Tina Brown. Good reading!  I'm a loser! KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON! 

So, in honor of this momentous occasion, I will be giving you my top 5 members of the Royal Family, past and present.

5) Princess Diana, Princess of Wales - Okay, I'll be honest. I'm only putting Diana on the list because if I don't, people will probably get upset and write angry letters to me complaining that I left Diana off. She definitely had charm and moxie, and she did a lot to help the less fortunate, but she didn't have the right constitution to be in the Royal Family: she was too sensitive and kind to be involved with the extremely weird and messed up world of the British Royals. That said, the people of England loved her. She's the people's choice.

4) Prince Harry of Wales - The dude's a menace. Showing up to Halloween as a Nazi! Underage drinking! The smoking of cannabis! Nude billiard parties in Vegas! I'd party with Prince Harry any day of the week. It kind of sucks for him that he's a ginger, but whatever, it's OK because he's royalty and all.

3) Henry VIII - Six wives, son! Six! Dude must've been a player. I mean, except for him killing Anne Boleyn pretty much just because he was tired of her, he seemed pretty charismatic. Plus, there's this classic tune.

2) Elizabeth II - She's done it all. She's seen it all. You can't rattle her. You can't phase her. She's been serving the realm as Queen since 1952.  She was there for the Great War, and this year she had her Diamond Jubilee, celebrating 60 years as Queen. You know how hard it is to hold any job for 60 years? Near impossible. Sure, it was her divine right and it's impossible to take the throne away from her, but still! 60 years ain't nothing to laugh at.

1) Colin Firth - Out of all the Royals, Colin Firth was the best King of England of all-time. He didn't plan on being King; his brother Guy was supposed to be king. But when it was time for Colin to sit on the throne-- even though he had a severe speech impediment!-- he came through big time and helped England get through World War II. Colin Firth was the best monarch ever, hands down.  

That's my definitive list. Congrats to William and Kate!  

Follow me: @DannyMoney

I don't know if you guys heard, but the world is over. Yup, pack up your things and then do nothing with the things you packed up because we'll all be dead! Here are a few things I'm going to miss:

My Parents: They're nice people. They feed me when I'm home and took care of me for years and years. They aren't as cool as… say… this dad, Steve, but, I mean, they're still pretty cool.

Mamrie Hart: My one true love. How I will miss her beautiful singing voice but hopefully we will meet again in HEAVEN!!!

Christmas: The fact that we don't get to celebrate Christmas this year or ever again is a real bummer.

Alcohol: It's a lot of fun to drink this stuff (because I am legal age and if you drink it you should be, too!) so I will miss it.

Kate Upton: Need I say more?

Tweet me your goodbyes internet and let's enjoy this last day! @MrChrisDonahue

byThursday is Thanksgiving bros and broettes! Let's party!

1. My boys in Such Gold just released their first music video for their song Two Year Plan . So happy to see my dudes making moves.

2. Paul Rudd and Tina Fey are in a new movie together called Admission which looks adorable, not unlike the two of them.

3. Who doesn't like five clips of Sonic Youth from 1985? If the answer is you then I suggest you immediately stop reading this blog because we aren't friends anymore.

4. I love the Muppets. I love Steve Martin. This buzzfeed article is the greatest!

5. I just realized Kate Upton is on the cover of Italian Vogue and the fact that she even exists is literally unfair.

Happy Turkey eating! Let me know how your meal was @MrChrisDonahue

Were you guys at the My Damn Channel LIVE event at The Ace Hotel last night? It was epic. Those of us that braved the disgusting sludge-rain weather outside were treated to an evening of comedy, sick jams and an assortment of alcoholic beverages. Here were my favorite parts of the show.

1. We CRUSHED two world records, including the record for Most Whoopee Cushions Sat On In 30 Seconds Without Smiling Or Laughing which used to be held by College Humor's Jeff Rubin. Ball's in your court Jeff.

2. Our very own Shannon Coffey regaled us with a tale of how she got duped into wearing Depends adult diapers by her Mom in high school. If I had a dollar for every time I accidentally wore a diaper let's just say I'd be sitting pretty ;)

3. Dave Hill shredded his axe ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

4. The bathroom at The Ace had a sink and Dyson Air Blade hand dryer inside of the stall. INSIDE THE STALL.

5. Todd Barry riffed on the Brooklyn restaurant Flatbush Farm for about 15 minutes after he found out a girl in the front row was a waitress there. It was pretty hilarious and now I really want to grab dinner there. I hear the Duck Confit is to die for.

@Petersoncinema

Welcome to another TVgasm Tuesday! Before we get into this can we talk for ONE SECOND about how Kate Middleton is PREGNANT?! This means so many things for the world: 1) Blue Ivy will now have competition as the most famous baby in the universe. 2) Piles and piles of pictures of this baby will be everywhere. Like, on billboards, probably. 3) I have a new nemesis.

Also, not to be outdone by some precocious fetus, Taylor Swift has been seen cavorting with Harry Styles of One Direction. They're now going by the couple name "Haylor" which is just the worst. Who decides these things, and how do I get in contact with them to punch them in the face….or, at least to write a strongly worded letter? Is there a committee of some kind? Get back to me, internet. In the meantime, let's see what TVgasm has for us:

This Week:

I think I've written about Lindsay Lohan like seven weeks in a row, but as the kids say "yolo." Do kids still say that? I should get out more. Click to read the latest news on LiLo. 

Remember when Angus T. Jones was a tiny adorable chubster in George of the Jungle? Well now he's a million years old, and not doing so well. Click to find out what he's up to now.

Lena Dunham is doing things! Do you love Lena Dunham?! Do you love things!? If the answer is at least a little bit you should go read this thing and get excited!

Remember: Isn't Lena Dunham GREAT?! She's definitely not forcing me to write this under threat of physical violence!!!!!!

Oh, and maybe follow me on Twitter: @Sam_the_stone