Good job, dummy. It’s Halloween morning and you don’t have a costume planned for the three parties you have to hit this weekend. Whatcha gonna do now? Don’t be that douchebag in the t-shirt from Urban Outfitters that reads “THIS IS MY COSTUME,” first of all – you procrastinated, you’re going to have to work. Also, Target is pretty much cleaned out, so unless you want to end up in an XXL gorilla suit that some toddler has rubbed snot all over, you’re not gonna be able to just get a premade costume, either.
Please don’t go as a sexy cat this year. Follow one of these suggestions instead.
Sheet. Eyeholes. You’re done.
2. Sexy Ghost
See header image. Sheet. Eyeholes. Bikini. You’re done, and also hilarious.
3. Manic Pixie Scream Girl
Dress like Zooey Deschanel – quirky sundress, colored tights, Mary Jane shoes – and throw on a Scream mask with a bow pinned to the top. This is a great costume for artsy girls on a budget who also love a pun.
You all know my feelings on Heisenberg costumes already, but whatever, any costume is better than none.
5. Wednesday Addams
This is apparently the new go-to costume for girls who want to be “goth, but still cute” on Halloween. I mean, if you have a black dress or blouse with a Peter Pan collar, your work is done.
6. Mia Wallace
You can spend the time you saved on assembling a costume practicing the twist.
7. Hipster Superhero
Just put on that Captain America or Superman logo tee you already own with some jeans, Chucks, and glasses. Congratulations. You’re boring, but you probably look cute.
8. Hipster Disney Princess
You will probably make out with a hipster superhero tonight. The good news is that nobody who dresses up as a hipster for Halloween is a hipster in real life (all the real hipsters just went to Hallowmeme a week ago).
9. Spring Breakers Girl
Bikini, sneakers, big-ass water gun. Throw on some sweatpants and a ski mask if you live in a colder climate. This is a great costume for both girls who want to be sexy and guys who want to be funny. Definitely wear this to a party where there will be a lot of Skrillex playing.
10. The Same Thing You Were Last Year
Yeah. Just reuse whatever dumb costume you wore last year. Who cares? Clearly you didn’t.
Liz / @lizbelsky