Search Results

It's TVgasm Tuesday once again and it seems like 2013 is quickly becoming the year of the heartbreaking series finale -- The Office shot its final episode a few days ago, and, predictably, I did not leave my bed that day. Thankfully, the internet came to my rescue and provided me with hours of The Office nostalgia like this beautiful photo.

Also, a sign-in list from the first day of auditions was posted AND if you aren't already crying, Steve Carell was on the Nerdist podcast (he doesn't really talk about The Office that much, but it's just comforting to hear his voice).

Other things that are a big deal: Beyoncé released a new single, appropriately named "Bow Down", which is exactly what I did the first time I heard it. Emma Watson could possibly be doing a movie version of 50 Shades of Gray, which is….porn….right? It has to be just porn, like what else is that book about besides sex? It's fine, I'm just saying let's call it what it is, so horny mothers of five know exactly what they're getting when they go see it. On that note, let's see what TVgasm has...

This Week:

As usual Oprah has hopped on a bandwagon, like, five weeks too late. She's released a Harlem Shake video, go check TVgasm out for all the details. Maybe she'll discover Nyan Cat in a couple years. Oprah iz a n00b, L0L.

Lindsay Lohan is in the news again, this time not for killing a couple clown hookers, but because she feels feels bullied by Justin Bieber. Well, I have some news for you Ms. Lohan, we've all felt personally victimized by Justin Bieber at one time or another. It's time to wipe up your mascara, build a bridge out of all your money, and get over it.

Did you know Lil Wayne was in the hospital? I did not, but apparently it was pretty serious, but he's fine now and all's well that ends well. Check out TVgasm for the full story!

Remember: The ending of TV series is a perfectly valid excuse to sit in bed all day and eat 3500 calories….so I hear….from my friends….who did that.

Tweet me quotes from the office and I will respond with a quote from the same episode FROM MEMORY. @Sam_the_stone

1. Anne Hathaway got married! Wasn't she, like, sooooooo prettty? No, I don't know what that big thing on her head is. Yes, I know it's some kind of veil / headpiece / Beats By Dre headphone prototype, but it's still very pretty. Expect brides to start requesting this look when it's time to get "jacked up" on Say Yes To The Dress.

2. Hotel Transylvania won the box office this weekend! This is the biggest opening for an Adam Sandler movie in a long time. Of course, it's an animated film, so, maybe people are just trying to send Sandler a message about how they want to see him in future films: voice only.

3. Lindsay Lohan was the victim of a crime! That almost never happens! Usually Lindsay is the one in trouble! Unfortunately, all charges against this alleged perpetrator were dropped. Aw, damn. Still none for you, Lindsay Lohan.

4. Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, did you see the latest video from our friends at Barely Political? Our very own Grace Helbig and Beth Hoyt play Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes, respectively, who have teamed up to give the public some driving advice! And it's funny because irony!

5. Finally, today marks the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness month! Are you a lady? Make sure you do your self-examination! Are you the one out of every three women who are too afraid to do the self-exam? Ask someone to help! I'm sure you will have lots of volunteers.

I hope you've fully digested from your Thanksgiving dinner(which you probably Instagrammmed the shit out of), because you're about to get a giant helping of TVgasm Tuesday! Obviously the first thing we have to talk about it the upcoming Beyonce movie. I think it's safe to say that the entire world is not ready for that jelly. I always get a little bummed out after talking about Beyonce; how can I ever compare? I'll probably just look at this Worst Dressed List to make myself feel better, and of course check out TVgasm

This week:

We've all been waiting for weeks, and it finally happened: Lindsay Lohan's "Liz & Dick" finally premiered on Lifetime. Shockingly it was pretty terrible, and everyone watched it. TVgasm has the scoop on all things "Liz & Dick"

Confession time: I've never seen Basketball Wives. I know, I know, it's ridiculous, and I should be ashamed. As I understand it, the show's about women married to basketball players, and not women married to basketballs, as I originally thought. Why in the world would these women ever need more money? TVgasm has the full story.

Anyone who stays up every Saturday for SNL will know Stefon, Weekend Update's club correspondent played by Bill Hader who always seems like he's on some kind of amphetamine. Click to watch an Interview with Hader all about his writing process and development with Stefon!

Remember: People will watch almost anything on Lifetime, especially if the word Dick is in the title.

1. Liz and Dick. Or #LizAndDick. Lindsay Lohan had her Lifetime movie debut last night as the legendary Elizabeth Taylor in "Liz And Dick." Everyone on Twitter decided it was going to be awful and live-tweeted it. Actually, Lindsay's performance recaptured some of her earliest talent and reminded everyone that she is, indeed, an actress of great import, if only we would see past her personal problems.

No, actually, that last part was a lie. Liz And Dick was a shitshow. A terrible, terrible, shitshow.

2. Holiday Weekend Box Office numbers are the best, mostly because they're ridiculously inflated. The final movie (hopefully) in the Twilight franchise, Breaking Dawn Part 2 took first place. Skyfall, the latest in the James Bond franchise, took second. And Lincoln, the latest in the Spielberg obsession with history franchise took third.

3. Chris Brown deleted his Twitter account after getting into it with comedian/writer Jenny Johnson. After she corrected his spelling of "Hoe" to "Ho" he threatened to give her pinkeye by shitting on her retina. Stay classy, Breezy.

4. Cyber Monday! There are deals everywhere! I don't know where, but maybe ask people for "a/s/l" to see if they want to cyber. That's a good way to find out.

5. Powerball! The jackpot is over 425 million dollars for this Wednesday's drawing! If you haven't yet bought your tickets, just don't. Don't buy them. I need to win this one, okay? Just let me have this.

1. Hurricane Sandy. The Frankenstorm. It will affect millions of people along the East Coast. Are you in the path of the storm? It's scary, for sure. But you still shouldn't be alerting the authorities to the fact that you plan on coping during the hurricane with illegal substances. Come on, now, y'all.

2. The San Francisco Giants won the World Series! They swept the Detroit Tigers to become the 2012 World Series Champions. And then there was rioting. Because nothing says "I'm so happy we won!" like climbing on buses and lighting things on fire.

3. Joss Whedon decided to come out in support of Mitt Romney AND the impending zombie apocalypse.

4. Argo was finally the top film at the box office this weekend. It only took three weeks!

5. Lindsay Lohan tried to invite Lady Gaga to our friend Tyler Oakley's live chat over the weekend. How fetch!

Photo: Scott Rovak, USA

1. Robsten (Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart) may still be broken after all. You mean their relationship was fake? A marketing ploy contrived by all parties to milk every last cent from the last installment of their multi-million dollar movie franchise? You don't say.

2. Paranormal Activity 4 scared up a win at the box office over the weekend. I'm so sorry for that sentence. What a terrible, terrible, thing to have written.

3. Lindsay Lohan's father tried to have an intervention with her and it didn't work. BUT, she's also off the hook for her latest hit-and-run allegation, so, you know, there's that.

4. "Paul Ryan Shirtless" is googled 9 times more than "Paul Ryan Budget."

5. Lil Wayne sang "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" at the San Francisco Giants vs St. Louis Cardinals National League Championship game on Sunday, proving why he is a rapper and not a crooner. This also makes us wonder whether maybe Harry Caray would have been great with the 808s.

It's TVgasm Tuesday! Ok The Office is over (this is the last time I will write about it, I promise, I just have a lot of emotions), and you should read this to cope with the horrible void that's been left. As you probably know, the Billboard Music Awards happened, but did you know there was an insanely awkward full minute of booing for Justin Bieber. Bieber later described the event as "not swaggy in the slightest". There was also some sass coming from Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and I can't wait for the inevitable feud. Although, Taylor Swift was not in any position to judge, considering she looked like Lizzie Mcguire on picture day. That's not a euphemism they literally have the same shirt. So I don't know how to say this in a non-caps lock way but BEYONCÉ RELEASED A NEW SONG (and it's not a weird avant-garde cover of an Amy Winehouse song!).

In case you were just beginning to feel good about yourself, here's an interview of Jaden Smith proving that he's cooler than everyone, and will probably be the first person to win a rap battle on the moon. And, lastly, as a special gift to the world, Seth Macfarlane has promised to not host the Oscars next year (although I stand by my statement that he could marry me). Let's see what TVgasm has

This Week:

In addition to releasing a new song, it's being reported that Beyoncé will also be releasing a new baby into the world. JUST KIDDING. Jay-Z has denied the rumors, but really who knows at this point? I mean….Beyoncé and her uterus probably, but not the rest of the world. I just like the suspense!

Ok Lindsey Lohan is in rehab right now, and has somehow managed to start a feud. From rehab. With someone else in rehab. I guess she's been calling this woman a "drug addict" which seems…..accurate if not so creative. Click for the full story!

I know I've been excited about Anchorman 2,. so you can imagine the overreaction I had when I watched the newly released trailer. Click to here to watch for yourself, but be aware, you might poop your pants. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Remember: Pooping your pants is socially acceptable if you make a public joke about it…..ha…ha…..right? Al Roker? Anyone?

Tweet me fun poop jokes….please @Sam_The_Stone

Happy TVgasm Tuesday/ 3rd night of Hanukkah/Finals Week/Week in preparation for a million Christmas specials on TV! What's that? You want to see country music stars try to dress nice for an awards show? That's so weird you would say that because the American Country Awards just happened, and here are some pictures! Formal note to male country music stars: you are at a damn awards show, and if women have to wear heels, you can wear something more dressy than black jeans. I'm talking to you, Keith Urban. You are a mess.

You know it's a slow news week when literally every news source talks about a fucking monkey in fucking Ikea. Regardless, go look at this monkey. It's wearing a coat. Like, a human coat, but it's a MONKEY!!!! IT'S AN ANIMAL WEARING PERSON CLOTHES, LIKE IT THINKS IT'S SOME KIND OF PERSON!!!! Let's see if TVgasm has anything that can top this monkey who is now more famous than I will ever be:

This Week:

Are you in the mood for some sass? That's crazy, me too! Let's go watch this Project Runway Recap together and eat cookie dough and braid each others hair and make friendship bracelets!

Wendy Williams needs to check herself before she wrecks herself, because she is on the road to getting assassinated by Beyoncé's secret police squad, also known as her backup dancers and Jay-Z. Click to see what she said about the Queen B.

Listen, I know you've been hearing a lot about Lindsay Lohan (mostly from me), but here's the thing: there is never too much news about Lindsay Lohan. Click to read the definitive "State of the Lohan" for yourself

Remember: Beyoncé knows everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone. That's why her riffs are so big, they're full of secrets. (Mean Girls? Anyone?)