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The 2012 NFL season begins today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes, my excitement is worth 18 exclamation points) My co-workers Dean and Chris are un-American and don't care about football so it's up to me, a red-blooded American alpha male to share some reasons why everyone should be excited about the 2012 NFL season.

 1)    Beer and Wings - On Sundays during the football season it’s socially acceptable to eat as many wings and drink as much beer as you want. People don't merely look the other way like they do when you eat wings in church on Sunday; they actually EXPECT this indulgence. Hell, even my mom has absolutely no problem with me polluting my body with fat and alcohol (by which I mean she has no tolerance for me polluting my body with fat and alcohol).

 2)    Fantasy Football – Not only do you get a chance to root for your favorite pro team every week, you also get to act as the head coach of your very own fantasy team: playing against your friends, spewing insults like “You suck!” or “I am better than you!” at them across crowded bars.  Remember, it’s all about the pageantry, folks.

3)    You’ll get to watch funny Daily Grace videos about football, like this one from last season, where she shows how much she knows about the sport: Nothing.  Grace knows nothing about football. Nothing.

4)    Because you never know if something ridiculous like this will happen.  Or a disgusting act, such as this.  Or this. 

5) Most importantly, tonight the defending Super Bowl Champions-- my beloved New York Giants-– face off against their division rivals, the Dallas Cowboys. So even if you’re not interested in the game itself, it might warm you to know that somewhere in New York, hunkered down with beer and wings (remember: this is socially accepted behavior during football season) I’m screaming my lungs out, cheering for my team like a crazy person.  You gotta respect the passion, no!?

Or not...

(Image via http://publicdomainclip-art.blogspot.com/)

Follow me on Twitter and tell me about your Fantasy Team: @DannyMoney

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried is well known for his loud and offensive stand-up routine (and his My Damn Channel series, Gilbert Gets It).  Just listen to his version of the classic The Aristocrats joke.  Pretty offensive!  Gilbert is legendary as a real comedian's comedian to whom no subject is off limits.

But did you know that, in real life, Gilbert is a shy, doting father and husband?  In this excellent New York Times article on Gilbert and his wife Dara Gottfried, we see that behind that grating stage voice there's a really sweet guy who loves his family.

Then again, does he really love his family?  I mean, I'm sure he's a nice person and all that, but what kind of an individual would subject themselves and their family to the perils of "Celebrity Wife Swap", the ABC reality show where spouses are switched to see what the hell happens.  It's a crazy show, and Gilbert and his wife are going to be featured on tonight's episode at 8 PM, swapping spouses with Alan Thicke.  

I think everyone should tune in tonight: if his past is any indication, I'm sure Gilbert won't let an opportunity to offend people on national television slip through his fingers.  It's what he does best!  That, and, you know, raise his children.

Time Out New York this week revealed its picks for the 50 Funniest New Yorkers. Turns out, our My Damn Channel LIVE guest Michael Showalter is on the list!

But wait... so is Jon Glaser, who was our guest in our very first show...

and the guest for our second show, David Wain, is on the list, too...

and so is Reggie Watts, last week's guest!

So, basically, My Damn Channel LIVE has consistently featured some of the funniest people in New York. In the United States. Of America. In North America. In the Western Hemisphere. On the planet Earth.

If that isn't reason enough for you to keep watching (Today at 4pm ET!), I guess we'll just have to find a way to make a shorter slogan and put it on a t-shirt to convince you.

Do you guys remember how in Episode 3 of Horrible People  Carter distracts Michael and Margaret from looking for Danielle's body by steering the conversation toward all the amazing kinds of mashed potatoes one can make?

Well history repeated itself in NYC last week when an American Hero managed to diffuse a fight on a subway simply by snacking on some delicious potato chips.

Carter was using the power of the potato for evil, so it's nice to see someone use the potato for good in the real world of New York. 

Watch the video, and when you see a potato farmer today, thank him for what he's doing for America.

WATCH!

April 30, 2012. New York City. A Wainy Days event will happen.

More details soon.