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It's another TVgasm Tuesday (Thursday) (sorry, guys-- hurricanes are crazy things), and I'm fighting through no power, or water, or will to live to bring TV news to you guys. It was dark times (PUNS!) for a while, there. No power meant I had to read books and eat kind of melty ice cream and pretend I was Emily Dickinson. However, now I have internet so I'm dealing with staying inside for days in the following ways: 1) watching Dance Moms online, 2) tweeting (about food mostly) 3) reading up on entertainment news. Let's see what TVgasm has to get us (me) through the aftermath of this hurricane.

This Week:

Royalty isn't any different from us mortals (except Kate Middleton who may or may not be a deity); they love celeb gossip too! Watch TVgasm's new cartoon "Gossip Queens" to hear a couple Queens dish about some crazy famous people.

So last week I wrote about the wedding of celebrity couple "TimberBiel" (still hate the name), but is there trouble in their weirdly named celebrity paradise? Click to find out!

When I think Disney, the first thing I think of is outer space, obviously, and the second thing I think is lightsabers. What? That's just me? Yeah that's what I figured. Click to read about Disney's new Star Wars movies!

Remember: If you don't have power for a while, it can sometimes help to dress up in 19th century dress and pretend you are a female poet. Don't knock it 'til you try it.

You can always tell it's the middle of summer because the reality shows start to get even spicier. There are epic tantrums and even bigger fights than usual, and at least two terrifying blonde women who like screaming will always threaten to leave whatever show they're on. I love it. It's the best part of summer television, and TVgasm is right here to help you and me (but mostly me) keep up with it. 

This week:

First she was leaving, and then she totally wasn't and it was all a rumor, but now it's confirmed that J.Lo actually is leaving Idol forever. At least Randy is staying, so we can count on unconditional praise for the contestants, and the use of the word "dog" for a couple more years.

You know how everyone says that all reality shows are just the same formula-- a bunch of good-looking, opinionated people who like to characterize themselves as "strong and independent" forced to be in the same room for hours? Well, TVgasm broke down the six archetypes of reality TV for you. Go find out which one you are! 

Toddlers and Tiaras is back. FINALLY. I can finally get my fix of screaming infants in tutus and stage mothers who pretend their children love being stuffed into ridiculous outfits. TVgasm has the scoop on the new season, as well as some quality screenshots from the show. 

Remember: If you're ever confronted by someone from reality TV, don't freak out. They're more afraid of you than you are of them.

IT'S CHRISTMAS, or I mean, basically. It's also TVgasm Tuesday, and since this is the last Tuesday before Christmas, I'm gonna give you enough TV news to tide you over for two whole weeks instead of just one.

We had one and a half finales this week: How I Met Your Mother had its two-part midseason finale, which somehow managed to answer questions without actually answering them, AND after six well-dressed seasons of emotional glaring, Gossip Girl had her series finale, finishing up with $3000 lace handkerchiefs and a surprise twist.

Also, when I think of "comedy," I totally think of Barbra Streisand yelling at Seth Rogen for several hours in a car, so when I heard about their new movie I thought "Oh of course, somebody finally made this, just in time for the world to end!" Let's face our imminent doom with TVgasm!

This Week:

Probably the best thing about the Internet is the comments section. The comments section of ANYTHING. There's always one person posting a chain letter (what is this AIM in 2004?!), and, of course, there's the always-immortal-and-ever-articulate "Wow. just wow." TVgasm's comments are just as lively: Click to read the best of 2012!

Did you stop by the TVgasm holiday party? You didn't?! It was THE social event of the season! There was boxed wine! There were miscellaneous housewives! There was even a wild Lohan sighting! Click here to get the scoop on this totally awesome party that totally happened and was real.

At a certain time, one just gets tired of denim shirts and puns, am I right? Obviously, I'm referring to Jay Leno, because I just can't bring myself to watch his show anymore. Maybe 2014 will bring a good host to the Jay Leno time slot? Click to find out who may be replacing Leno in a few years (that is, if we don't all die in 3 days, thanks Mayans).

Remember: If you're commenting on something online, let's try at least to keep it interesting. Can we put a moratorium on the "Wow. just wow" forever?

Do you like tweets about cake? Follow me at @Sam_the_Stone

It's another TVgasm Tuesday, and did you guys know that the Grammys are a thing!? They are, go check them out. Also, Beyoncé did another interview with Vogue just to make sure everyone knows that she's flawless, which you should watch obviously. If these both didn't make you happy, the newly announced Netflix-Dreamworks animation series should at least make you giggle a little bit to yourself. Dreamworks never disappoints. Overall, I'd say it's been a solid week. Let's see what TVgasm has...

This Week:

Did you guys catch SNL last Saturday? Go check out their latest Bravo parody shows, and lets all countdown the days until Bravo actually starts taping The Real Houseplants of Beverly Hills.

It's getting to be that dreaded time of the year: Valentine's Day. Luckily, TVgasm has the rundown on celebrity relationships to distract you from your crippling loneliness and self-loathing. Thanks, TVgasm!

Amanda Bynes, look at your life. Look at your choices. Before you try to start twitter beef, try to remember that you're an adult (probably). Check out TVgasm for the entire story.

Remember: If you don't have anyone this Valentine's Day, try to forget about how terribly alone you are, and eat some chocolate your mom bought you.

@Sam_The_Stone

Welcome once again to TVgasm Tuesday. Did you enjoy the long weekend? Well, I hope you're rested because there is a lot of TV news and you need to know all of it so you can finally have something to say to those pesky "friends" of yours. For example you could tell your friends how Alec Baldwin had a few choice no-no words for some paparazzi. We can all laugh about this, "oh ha ha Alec Baldwin in crazy hardy har har" but the bottom line is please don't beat me up, Alec Baldwin.

Also, did you know Fergie is pregnant? My predictions are as follows: the baby will be more photogenic than any of us, the baby's name will have at least four and, at most, six consecutive consonants in it, and there will be a surge of "My Humps" jokes on twitter [ed. note: It's already happening]. Speaking of babies, Blue Ivy was featured in the Beyoncé documentary, and you should go read about it and then cry at Beyoncé's adorable offspring. Let's see what TVgasm has for us...

This Week:

Apparently, Khloe Kardashian's lack of expertise and talent has caught up to her, click here to see how. If it weren't for the alliteration in her name and her crazy eyes, I'm pretty sure America would have NO time for Khloe.

And, here's to you, Amanda Bynes! You're just a fun-loving twenty-something trying to figure it all out! You're like a slightly intoxicated Zooey Deschanel without bangs or charm or any likable quality that Zooey Deschanel has! Keep being newsworthy, girl!

Remember: We can't ALL be Zooey Deschanel, but we CAN all try. 

How have you guys been coping with the Frankenstorm this week? Luckily for me I didn't lose power and I've been curled up playing Skyrim. I didn't even have to put pants on! This week in Nerd News:

-Code Red! I repeat, Code Red! This past Tuesday Disney bought out LucasFilm LTD and the Internet basically imploded into itself. Do you know what this means? Princess Leia is now a Disney Princess! That's not the only bad news: Star Wars VII is slated for release in 2015!  Help us, Joss Whedon, you're our only hope...

-Remember a few weeks ago when I said that G4 was scheduled for a makeover? Well, the end is near: Attack of the Show and X-Play have officially been canceled. I hate to say it, but once Adam Sessler and Kevin Pereira left, I knew it was only a matter of time. Both of the shows will continue to air until the end of the year. R.I.P. AOTS and X-Play. We will always remember you.

-Wreck-It Ralph is finally out today! I've been so excited to see this moving and see all of my favorite video game characters in one movie. Who else is going to see it? Let me know in the comments.

For more nerd news and trivia, be sure to check out Kristina's Answerly video later today!
-Brandon
@ReasonToWrite

(Photo Credit: lains-experiment on reddit)

It's TVgasm Tuesday again Wednesday (*Ed. note: Uh, sorry about that.), and I already know what you're gonna say. You're going to try to tell me that the biggest story this week was the presidential debate. Yeah, I know Romney is trying to hunt down Big Bird, and there was a lot of interrupting going on, but I think the biggest political news this week is Bristol Palin riding the struggle bus on Dancing With The Stars. She's a Palin, it still counts as politics. Nailed it. Let's see what else TVgasm has for us...

This week:

ABC has ordered a new reality show called "Celebrity Splash", based on a Dutch show where I guess celebrities jump into large bodies of water. I watched a preview of the Dutch version, and it reminds me of this club I went to once, where they tried to sell me a $15 shot of leather flavored vodka, and everyone was wearing white fur pants. It was a weird night. Go watch.

Have you heard about The Nikki-Mariah feud? No?! Ugh, you need to stop watching presidential debates, and get up to date on your celebrity gossip. It's your duty as an American citizen to find out what went down, why Nikki and her ass (two separate entities right? Like, legally?) are so enraged, and debate what Nikki should do in this week's Dear TVgasm. 

Project Runway's new All-Star season is coming up, and I think we all need a refresher of "who's who" in the cast. Luckily TVgasm made a redub of the season preview that pretty much sums everything up. Click to watch!

Remember: If you're at a party and everyone is wearing white fur pants, you are most likely at a Russian drug lord's bachelor party, and you need to get out of there STAT.

Jesse Camp exploded into the public consciousness in 1998 when he won MTV's Wanna Be a VJ contest and started appearing on TRL, eventually even garnering his own show called Lunch With Jesse. The lovable waif was known for his freewheeling, positive attitude and outrageous attire that looked like a mix between Joey Ramone, Steven Tyler and a drag queen. What has been been doing since his heyday on MTV?

Camp tried to parlay his newfound fame into a rock career by cutting an album under the name Jesse & The 8th Street Kidz. The effort was met with less than laudatory reviews from critics and currently holds the 339,190th spot on the Amazon sales charts.

After his career as a rock star didn't pan out, Camp headed to Hollywood. He dabbled in acting and even had a walk-on role in the 2002 Britney Spears film Crossroads. After that he reportedly held down oddball jobs like being a clerk at a Feed & Supply company and a telemarketer for a liberal non-profit organization. In an interview with LA Weekly he says he's currently making movies with his sister in Los Angeles and said, "As long as you have a vision, that will create enough positive energy within you to keep going".

Keep rocking, Jesse.

Yours truly,
Dean
@Petersoncinema.