This Thursday is Valentine's Day, a most joyous day of romance and love, when the heavens will open up and light will shine down upon you and your lover in a most glorious cascade of golden --
NOPE! Wrong. That's not happening for a lot of people this year. For many people Valentine's Day is horrible because they are alone - bitterly and utterly alone. Thankfully, I've got some suggestions for getting your (and my) mind off of all that lovey-dovey stuff that is propagated so aggressively on Valentine's Day.
To start, watch this video Joe made that has a bunch of suggestions for Valentine's Day distractions, like getting drunk and writing to celebrities that are going through divorces! Nothing calms the soul quite like interacting with the rich and famous who are going through horrible, tumultuous divorces. Phew. At least that's not YOU losing half of your 100 million dollar fortune only leaving you with a paltry 50 million. Who wants that kind of aggrevation?
Next, why not sit back and watch the entire season of Wainy Days because no one - and I mean no one - has worse luck with the opposite sex than David Wain. Nothing ever seems to work out for him and his potential lady loves. This will certainly cheer you up; I know from experience because, last year, I watched every episode while eating a large tub (98 oz.) of sour cream….Pray for me…
Another video you might watch is this episode of Sing-a-Gram because, boy, does this poor soul really get a raw deal from his lady. I mean, this is brutal. It's very, very funny for you and me, but pretty brutal for this poor man. So enjoy it! Enjoy the brutality!
Look. I'm a doctor. I know what I'm talking about. So listen to me. Listen to your doctor and you will wake up on Friday with a clear mind and calm heart, knowing that you have 364 more days until you have to go through this horror all over again.
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