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It's TVgasm Tuesday! Ok The Office is over (this is the last time I will write about it, I promise, I just have a lot of emotions), and you should read this to cope with the horrible void that's been left. As you probably know, the Billboard Music Awards happened, but did you know there was an insanely awkward full minute of booing for Justin Bieber. Bieber later described the event as "not swaggy in the slightest". There was also some sass coming from Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and I can't wait for the inevitable feud. Although, Taylor Swift was not in any position to judge, considering she looked like Lizzie Mcguire on picture day. That's not a euphemism they literally have the same shirt. So I don't know how to say this in a non-caps lock way but BEYONCÉ RELEASED A NEW SONG (and it's not a weird avant-garde cover of an Amy Winehouse song!).

In case you were just beginning to feel good about yourself, here's an interview of Jaden Smith proving that he's cooler than everyone, and will probably be the first person to win a rap battle on the moon. And, lastly, as a special gift to the world, Seth Macfarlane has promised to not host the Oscars next year (although I stand by my statement that he could marry me). Let's see what TVgasm has

This Week:

In addition to releasing a new song, it's being reported that Beyoncé will also be releasing a new baby into the world. JUST KIDDING. Jay-Z has denied the rumors, but really who knows at this point? I mean….Beyoncé and her uterus probably, but not the rest of the world. I just like the suspense!

Ok Lindsey Lohan is in rehab right now, and has somehow managed to start a feud. From rehab. With someone else in rehab. I guess she's been calling this woman a "drug addict" which seems…..accurate if not so creative. Click for the full story!

I know I've been excited about Anchorman 2,. so you can imagine the overreaction I had when I watched the newly released trailer. Click to here to watch for yourself, but be aware, you might poop your pants. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Remember: Pooping your pants is socially acceptable if you make a public joke about it…..ha…ha…..right? Al Roker? Anyone?

Tweet me fun poop jokes….please @Sam_The_Stone

Welcome to another TVgasm Tuesday, let's just go ahead and get right down to business, we have a lot to cover today. Did you know Taylor Swift released a new album? If you live within a 4 mile radius of human civilization, the answer is most likely yes. But did you know most of Taylor Swift's album is about guys breaking up with Taylor Swift?….well yeah I guess you probably did. In other news, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are getting married, and will, I assume, eventually have perfect little angel-babies that will each be born with a full set of abs and more charisma than I will ever be able to muster. Unfortunately their given couple name is "TimberBiel" which kind of sounds like the name for five different Ikea nightstands. Don't focus on that, focus on the perfect angel-babies, and let's check out TVgasm:

This week:

If any of you undecided voters needed help during this trying election, Honey Boo Boo is officially an Obama supporter. Of course, directly after she gave her endorsement she bounced on a couch for several minutes, and then dunked her entire hand into a glass of water, so…make of that what you will. Watch the entire clip over at TVgasm!

Is Community on again yet? No? C'mon NBC get your shit together. How about we cut hour seven of the Today show, you know the one that's just Al Roker making puns straight to the camera, and air some community then? In the mean time, I'll have to tide myself over with this video over at TVgasm, go watch!

Have you been keeping up with Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition? If you haven't been watching, it's a spin-off of Dance Moms, and TVgasm has the recap to catch you up. Go read it, so we can talk about it, because no one I know watches it, and I am dying slowly.

Remember: Life is not reality TV. As every angry girl on reality TV will tell you "THIS IS NOT A BEST FRIEND MAKING CONTEST", and real life is basically the opposite. 

1. Congressman Todd Akin (R, MO) tried to bolster his anti-abortion stance-- even for rape victims-- by claiming "If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." The internet's collective mind exploded. Even worse, Congressman Akin serves on the House Science and Technology Committee, which goes to show they'll let just about anybody on that thing.

2. The Expendables 2 was number one at movie theaters this weekend, knocking The Bourne Legacy from the top of the movie mountain. Which just goes to show that Hollywood studios CAN make movies starring senior citizens and make money!

3. Fifty Shades Of Grey (aka The Book I Thought Was So Bad I Have Officially Lost Faith In Humanity) was finally knocked from its perch atop Amazon's Best Seller list by The Legend Of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, an encyclopedic companion to the video game. Surely there's some allegory here about geeks overpowering horny housewives that E.L. James can turn into her next best-selling piece of awfulness.

4. Director Tony Scott committed suicide by jumping off a bridge in San Pedro, California. Tony Scott's resume included director of films such as Beverly Hills Cop II, Top Gun and True Romance. With his older brother, Ridley Scott, he executive produced The Good Wife.

5. Taylor Swift is dating a Kennedy. Can't wait until they break up and all of all of her songs take on a broken-hearted New England lilt.

(Image via)

The Olympics are over, and Fall TV shows haven't started yet, so I'm assuming the only thing you're living for is TVgasm Tuesday. Well, stop crying, and get ready to have your pants blown off by all this entertainment news:

Miley Cyrus apparently cut her own hair while angry and blindfolded. Taylor Swift released a new song which (shocker) is about a past relationship, and is called something like "I'm gonna hate you forever because you're a douche canoe." Also, Robert Pattinson is still a sad panda. Are your pants blown off? good. Hold onto your eyeballs because here comes some  TVgasm.

This Week:

It's another episode of Mornin' Time! This week Fred and Quinnifer address presidential attack ads, and It. Gets. Real. Real. Quick. Go watch!

You know those women on The Price is Right who show off the prizes and don't ever blink? Well, now you can be one, even if you're a dude! Read TVgasm to find out how (and then apply because, honestly, this is a dream job).

Real Housewives have some real problems to deal with! Like "where do you store nine leopard print painted Mercedes?" And "how do you remove the scent of shame from silk?" Like a (not at all) friendly aunt or uncle, TVgasm has some advice for these ladies in this week's Dear TVgasm.

Remember: If you ever need to get the scent of shame out of silk, just use seltzer water/your own tears.

It's TVgasm Tuesday once again, and as a welcome gift to April, I have possibly the most news I've ever had in one post. Let's get down to business right away. I'm hearing a lot about a Finding Nemo sequel called Finding Dory. I don't know that many details, but I'm assuming the movie will be about finding someone. Possibly Dory. Stay tuned for more details. Game of Thrones premiered last night, so we all got to learn who among our friends are the undercover nerds.

Also, The Walking Dead had its season finale, which you should read about. Also did you know Taylor Swift is scheduled to guest star on New Girl in a few weeks? Listen, maybe she'll be great, and if she is you have my full permission to tell me I am a terrible person, but my prediction is it'll be rough, and she'll play some kind of deluded crazy-pants ex-girlfriend (….so like herself), and everyone will politely clap until she's done. Bravo renewed a bunch of Real Housewife series, proving once and for all that these women will never die and these shows will run forever. Let's see what TVgasm has...

This Week:

For a few weeks now there have been rumors floating around about Jimmy Fallon taking over Jay Leno's late night spot, and finally the two made a video together addressing the rumors (in the best way possible obviously). I mean, I'm a big fan of Jimmy Fallon because of this moment, but we'll see what happens.

Americas Most Wanted has been on for…my entire life I'm pretty sure, so when I heard it was canceled I was a little relieved to be honest. I mean it was on the Lifetime Network, the place where TV shows go to die, and are reborn into TV movie gems like Cyberbully, starring Emily Osment. 

FX is starting a new network called FXX (which I thought was supposed to be like FX for women, like some kind of chromosome joke, but apparently not), and a bunch of shows are moving exclusively over to that network! Click to find out which ones!

Remember: If you want to live forever, follow the Real Housewives diet of hard alcohol, Diet Coke, and meanness.

Tweet me the nickname you're trying to make happen for yourself @Sam_the_stone

Welcome to another TVgasm Tuesday (on Wednesday. It's my editor's fault. [ed. note: mea culpa!]). I'm gonna try to keep this short because we have a lot to talk about. I guess we should talk first about last Saturday's SNL. Justin Timberlake hosted for the fifth time, and, I don't want to oversell it, here, but it was the best thing to ever happen to the world. In less exciting news, you can now go on a cruise with Weezer. Yeah, I had to read it a few times too. I guess you just go on a cruise and Weezer is there and they play songs, and you pretend it's the mid-90's and talk about the Olsen twins and the musical RENT (those are 90's things right?). 

Do you guys remember a few months ago when NBC was in talks to create a spin-off from The Office based on Dwight's beet farm? Yeah I wasn't too crazy about it, either, and NBC never actually made it... BUT, apparently this week's episode of The Office is supposed to introduce the entire Schrute family. I guess what I'm saying is, go read this article and then tweet me things about The Office this Thursday. Also, Mad Men's season 6 promo posters are out, and you can click here to have HuffPo overanalyze it for you!

This week on TVgasm:

Joan Rivers is well-known as the busiest woman in Hollywood (or wherever she lives. New York? A gas station?), and she's at it again with her new web series. Click here to get the details. 

Did you guys hear about the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler/Taylor Swift triangle of animosity? No?! Check out TVgasm to get the details. Taylor Swift, why couldn't you have just written a song about this and saved us the trouble... trouble... trouble! You all have such rhymeable names!

There's been a lot of drama surrounding ABC's The View recently, and ABC has finally  revealed that one of the ladies will be leaving? Which one? I couldn't tell you, but as long as it's not Whoopi, everything is fine. I can't start my day off without those Crocs.

Remember: One day Joan Rivers will revert back to her natural form: a crocodile skin purse, and on that day I'll be standing here with a smile and an aggressive "I told you so"

Tweet me your deepest darkest secrets @Sam_the_stone