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TVgasm Tuesday is here yet again, and just in time, too. I've been having withdrawals from reality TV. I can't SLEEP. I can't EAT (sort of). I need my fix of snark and ridiculousness. This is kind of starting to sound like a drug addiction. Whatever I can stop anytime I want, and I don't need your judgement.

This week:

Do you guys remember SMASH? I loved it, and I refuse to be ashamed. Sure it didn't make sense, but there was singing and dancing and a lot of crying, which is all I really want in a show. TVgasm has the scoop on the newest addition to next season's cast.

I've been worried about the Jersey Shore kids for a while now. What are they going to do after the show ends? They're all insane, and I'm pretty sure they don't have any marketable skills so getting a job is out of the picture. TVgasm was thinking along the same lines, and thoughtfully wrote a letter to the cast with some sound advice.

Ok this is a big one: TVgasm posted a new podcast called "Watch What Crappens", and it's basically three dudes talking about everything I love. Go listen for the gossip on The Real Housewives, Million Dollar Listing, and more!

Remember: TV is good for you, just like vegetables and exercise. Trust me, I'm a doctor.

It was a three-day weekend. You might have missed some stuff. Here it is:

1. Inauguration Day! Barack Obama was sworn in for his second term as President of the United States of America. The best part was probably when Kelly Clarkson turned "My Country 'Tis of Thee" into a song that 14-year-olds will now want to use for their American Idol auditions, and Beyonce tried to make sure she didn't get left in Kelly Clarkson's dust by doing a superfluous vocal run during the National Anthem. Oh, I was the only one who considers all that a highlight? My bad.

2. Harbowl! Football happened this weekend. The penultimate games before the Super Bowl, when The San Francisco 49ers, coached by Jim Harbaugh, will play the Baltimore Ravens, coached by John Harbaugh. YES. BROTHERS. Blah blah blah, Jacob, Esau, sibling rivalry, daddy loves me more, blah. This is all just fodder while we wait with bated breath for the Beyoncé halftime show, which will be sponsored by Pepsi and feature "the world's FIRST crowdsourced halftime intro." Whatever that means. Congrats on using digital jargon that none of Beyoncé's fans care about, Pepsi. You could learn a lot from GQ...

3. GQ Magazine recently named Beyoncé the hottest woman of the 21st Century. That's saying a lot, since we're only 13 years into the century, but I guess we can give them a pass since it's hard to sell magazines in this day and age. That must also be why they released this video of their Beyoncé cover shoot, so that the good young people of the Internets can GIF her to their hearts' content. Because this is how we live now.

Tell me this story is stupid and you love Beyoncé as much as you love Daily Grace: @mariaalana.

(Image via Reuters)

Did you guys hear the great news? There is a live Wet Hot American Summer screening in Brooklyn TONIGHT!!! Do you live in Brooklyn? Do you live near Brooklyn? If not, do you have access to a private jet/helicopter to fly you to Brooklyn? That's a shame cause this shit is going to be OFF THE HOOK!!!

A lot of the same people who are in Wainy Days are in this movie. You know Wainy Days? Our hit web series that's also available on DVD right now! Loaded with extras, oh man, if you don't have that private jet/helicopter I suppose purchasing the DVD will do.

Well done, guys. Well done.

I really loved that you turned this #EffieAnswers campaign that Elizabeth Banks is running on her website to promote The Hunger Games into an opportunity to get her to talk about the Wet Hot American Summer sequel... er... prequel.

Fridge humping is almost as good as that Peeta/Katniss cave scene, right?

Oh my GOD it's so hot. At least, that's according to most people on my Facebook newsfeed. To be honest, I've been sitting in my air conditioned apartment, watching TV and pretending I live in a place that's cold and where everyone is blonde and good-looking. (I'm looking at you Sweden.) As a side effect of my new life as a hermit, I've been able to catch up on the  summer shows I've been too busy to see when YES-- sometimes I DO have other things to do besides just watching TV. But TVgasm has been right there with me in my air-conditioned TV cave, and it's a good thing, too!

This week:

The Real Housewives of Orange County is now casting for the new season, so if you're an "outgoing, exciting, strong, self-confident woman" (insane, dramatic, belligerent, egomaniacal, robot) I guess this is your shot. TVgasm has the full casting notice, which is comedy gold.

TVgasm is making a new animated show called "MorninTime with Fred and Quinnifer." The full show isn't up yet, and I'm not sure Quinnifer is a real name, but nonetheles, the promo is posted and it's really funny. Go watch! (drinking game idea: drink every time Fred's eyebrows move... wait... that much drinking might kill you.)

Alright, I love the Real Housewives as much as the next guy (well, more probably), but sometimes there are just way too many shows to catch up on before the next season starts. Thankfully TVgasm has a recap of the entire seventh season in just two short minutes!

Remember: If you know reality TV trivia, it still counts as book learnin' and don't let anyone tell you different.