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"In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention).

For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times…"

Blah blah blah.  What is this junk everyone is posting to Facebook?  Oh yeah, really seems like a binding legal contract.  Really seems like this is a surefire way to not get your Facebook shit stolen and put into a movie or a play or something.  "What's that?  Spielberg used my status from three years ago as the basis of his new blockbuster movie!?  Damn it!"

Yeah, no one cares about any of your comics or paintings, bro.   So instead of posting that long, boring, probably ineffective statement to your wall, why not share the season finale of Status Kill?  It's more fun and once someone sees you've shared it they won't DARE try and steal ANY of your personal details.  Why, you ask?  Here are some reasons:

1) It shows that you have good taste.  Jesse Cowell's direction of the series, in my opinion, is simply masterful.  It's his complete vision, as he is also the creator and writer of the entire Status Kill series.  I love it when one man takes what is in his head and turns it into a reality.  

2) Because I'm in it!  I make a quick cameo as The Mad Tagger, who I had played in THIS episode of Status Kill earlier in the season.  I also share the scene with my good buddy Chip!

3) The special effects are so uber sweet it'll be a fabulous distraction to those attempting to steal your identity.  I know first hand that Chris Dimino spent a lot of time working on the special effects in Status Kill and they all came out amazing.  Seriously, you won't find better special effects than this on the entire interweb.  

4) The acting prowess of Ayinde Howell, who plays Denton Sparks, a bad ass who will surely kick the crap out of anybody who steals anything from your Facebook account…if you post this to your wall.

5) There are more reasons, but they're all encapsulated by this statement: STATUS KILL RULES.  Watch it.  You will not be disappointed.  Trust me.

An attempt at viral fame ended in tragedy Monday when a 22-year-old social media intern took his love of internet humor too far.

Joshua Flaherty of New Brunswick, NJ passed away at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital late Monday night due to Sepsis, a bacterial infection resulting from a gastrointestinal perforation, following the rectal insertion of precisely 10 pounds of hickory smoked bacon.

"Josh had a really big heart, and he just loved giving people what they wanted," said Flaherty's mother, Linda. "When he told me about the project, I thought to myself, 'Josh is a smart kid and he's made good at this Internet thing so far. What could go wrong?'"

Modern Primate has the whole sad story. Read it and learn from the internet's mistakes.

You shared it, didn't you? You liked it, you commented, you posted it on your own wall. And your friends did it. And your mom did it. Everyone saw the picture of the guy on Facebook holding up the winning numbers to the Mega Millions jackpot where he said he'll split the money with everyone who shares the photo!

Super generous, of him, right? What an awesome dude! Not at all a scam with a photoshopped ticket that you and your mom and your best friend are all falling for, right?

Slacktory found him and asked him, "How, kind sir, can you be so magnanimous?"

We hope they also asked him how posting the color of one's bra as a status update helps to cure kids with cancer. Or how about asking him if the best way to stay socially relevant is giving your friends ultimatums to say publicly that you don't want to be defriended to "see who's really reading my facebook page!" This guy obviously has one of the keenest minds of the social media age.

And a really awesome copy of Photoshop.

If you’re looking for more new comedy to watch, you sure picked the right day to Be Here Now.

The launch of the My Damn Channel Comedy Network introduces eight new series today. Check them out, have a laugh . . . or two . . . or fifty, and share them with your friends.

New episodes from every series premiere weekly. And we're adding more new series every week.

If you're creating your own comedy, or you know someone who wants to get inside the My Damn Channel Comedy Network click here.

The Adventures of Humphrey and Spud
The ongoing animated story of a rock and a potato

That Guy
Tales of "That Guy". You know the one. As in, "Don't be That Guy."

Life From The Inside
An agoraphobic songwriter makes a “comeback” as an unenthusiastic jingle writer.

Running Late with Scott Rogowsky
Scott and his sidekick/dad welcome comedians, bands and celebs to their late night talk show.

Frankie
An animated look at life as seen through the eyes of an eight-year-old.

What If
An attempt to provide real answers to hypothetical questions.

Huffin’ It
A new sketch series from the award winning Murderfist comedy troupe.

Advice
Real drunk people give advice at real bars and parties, animated for your viewing pleasure.

Today is the last TVgasm Tuesday of July and I don't even know what to do with myself! Do I celebrate two full months of writing about only the best reality TV news? Or do I sob hysterically because summer is over, and in the fall/winter I won't have any time to watch my shows?! I guess what I'll end up doing is ignoring it until I have some sort of emotional break down. Luckily TVgasm will still be here to help me cope!

This week:

We already talked about how J.Lo is leaving Idol, but who could possibly take her place?! I'll give you a hint, it's another sassy singer that doesn't have a whole lot of other things going on in her life. Go read TVgasm to find out who!

Do you remember those ten terrible days when DirectTV was mad at Viacom or something? I don't know what happened but I know that I didn't get, like, sixteen of my channels. Anyway, now the dispute is over (thank God) and I can finally watch Nickelodeon again.

Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I love Paula Deen, but even I do not love her enough to pay her 17 million dollars a year (….probably). Go read TVgasm's list of top paid celeb chefs to see the ridiculous sums other chefs get paid.

Remember: If you have no marketable skills except a constant need for attention and a confrontational personality, but still need a source of income, don't rule out the possibility of being a reality star

You know what, I'm just going to say it: It's hard to meet new people. It is! I get the beginning part... the handshake, then you tell each other your names, but then what!? The peeps at Answerly have my back, though (and yours, too, if maybe you're a little socially awkward sometimes)!

Kristina knows what I'm talking about, and she made a video about it! She even knows how to talk to celebrities (it turns out drooling at them is a no-no, who knew?)!

Moving to college means moving away from your friends and family, but it also means meeting an entirely new group of friends. As a college student herself, Hayley can give you tips about talking to human beings!

And when you get really good at talking to people, like really, really good at talking to people, like, good enough that they want to have some sex with you, Joe can help you out with all of the sex business!

Hey! Look at you now. Who even remembers the weird loner you once were? Now you're an outgoing, popular, social butterfly! Life lesson: watching My Damn Channel makes you popular.

It's TVgasm Tuesday! It's (almost) Thanksgiving, guys! While this means pie eating, wine drinking, and joke making, it also means that you're probably going to have to talk to some aunts/uncles/grandparents who you haven't spoken to in a while. What better way to break the ice than with some entertainment gossip about celebrities your grandparents have never heard of! You could talk about how the AMA's happened, or if that doesn't work you can't go wrong with a classic: Lindsey Lohan news. There aren't people on this earth who don't want to hear about Lindsey Lohan stealing a piece of art from a museum or something. Let's see what else TVgasm has for us

This Week:

Remember that guy you knew, who you kind of hated, who called people "bro-migo" and had frosted tips and yelled everything he said? Well that guy grew up to be Guy Fieri, and he needs some advice on how to deal with the haters, and TVgasm won't let him down. Go read this weeks Dear TVgasm!

When I think of Anderson Cooper, I think of a silver fox who isn't afraid to ask the tough questions (ok maybe I have a little crush on Anderson Cooper, shut up), so who better to fill in for him on his talkshow that a reality star and a comedian. Read TVgasm's full story to see who's taking over for Anderson while he goes to Gaza.

Let's admit it, we've all been waiting for a new, AWESOME, set of Real Housewives (because Miami didn't count, obviously). FINALLY, the day has arrived. Click to find out who the newest and BEST housewives are!

Remember: Frosted tips are more trouble than they're worth. Always.